Should I be honest?

[OohCadburyBoost]

Name change because - I know you are on here Leslie!!

I am going to be as specific as I can without giving Leslie (her work nick name - well the nicest one!) the ability to identify me. However I am kind of over it now!

I just need to know if I am being unreasonable here. I warn you that on the scale of 1-10 of pettiness this is a 10 so not a an issue that is going to have a global impact!

Leslie smells - it is a mixture of cats, rice cakes and that damp smell where you haven't let your clothes dry properly. I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and I sit next to Leslie. I admit I have HORMONES and also vomit at least twice a day regularly due to my inability to deal with the smell of coffee, tuna and ...Leslie.

Now I don't purposely like hurting anyone's feelings - I am very aware that these are my issues but I had a quiet word with the office manager and she took pity on me and let me move to the other side of the office in a corner mostly used for hot desking.

This happened last Thursday and today in the kitchen I was cornered by Leslie (who by the way had a piece of flaky pastry from her croissant on the side of her mouth) demanding to know why I moved!

Now 2 things here - firstly this pregnancy has gifted me with sickness from 6 weeks and secondly I also I currently have a very weak stomach because I had to run away and be sick as the smell and then the food on the mouth triggered the first chunder of the day.

I did politely excuse myself but when I returned she was crying and some co-workers were consoling her (from a distance!).

I apologised and said that I was having morning sickness and then Leslie screamed at me that I was discriminating against her. I stayed calm (secretly hoping my waters might break so I could leave) and asked her to explain how I discriminated against her. Then she said I moved desks because she is old and it is age discrimination.

Now my dilemma is - would it be unreasonable to tell her that I am actually really fond of older people (she is actually on 65 so not old in my view) and that my real issue is that she had an aroma that in my current condition is really not appealing to me.

Or is it nicer for her think that I don't like her because of her age.

See petty!! I spoke to a colleague and she said she couldn't get close enough to cuddle her when she was crying because she thought she would gag. She says IANBU but I feel like a bitchy bitch - should I just move back to the desk and put vicks under my nose?

I told my husband and he nervously laughed then put his rice cakes in the car to take to work to eat!!

Tell her you love old people and she's like a second nan to you.

@ladydimitrescu

Why name change when you've written word for word what happened and called her out in your op by saying you know she's on here - how is any of that helping

Name changed so if she is recognised then Leslie won't be able to see any of her previous posts

Something smells fishy here and I’m not sure it’s Leslie.

OK thanks all - I am going to wrap up here and wish you all the best. It has been fun :)

The things I have written here are the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the behaviour that has been tolerated by management. So I am happy to be judged - you only have a snippet of what the past 7 years of my working life has been like. But just like this post I keep it light hearted mainly to protect my mental health and try and keep it civil!

Hope you all have a fabulous day!

I’m sorry but just draw a line under it and ignore. You’ve only got a few days left and will be on maternity leave.

You got the move, surely you can coast along for the next few days.

Awful. OP the smell of my OH used to knock me sick, just his usual smell+ aftershave. It's just one of those things. 'Sorry- bad morning sickness!' usually suffices.
You've chosen to make this extremely personal and the ageist notion hasn't come from nowhere.
I hope you can rein in the vindictiveness so you don't come to look back on this after you've had your baby and be mortified.

If she is 65 and stinks then she’s had a lifetime to clean herself up and isn’t going to take too kindly to you mentioning her personal hygiene or lack of it.

What an unpleasant thread. I'm glad I'm not a manager in this office. Awful.

- I knew it was too good to be true - I needed at least one judgy comment otherwise it wouldn't be mumsnet.

Have you read your own post? Don't think you're in a position to condemn anyone else for being judgey.

I think you sound nasty and want to be even nastier before you go off on leave.

You believe she is on here so post this thread so she will see it, but you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Sorry these statements are mutually exclusive.

I'm also wondering why her nickname is "Leslie" because I remember in my school days nasty children used to give this name to girls they suspected of being lesbians (usually because they didn't conform to girly stereotypes/didn't have a boyfriend/dressed a bit different). OP sounds the type who'd find this hilarious.

@Aprilx

I think you sound nasty and want to be even nastier before you go off on leave.

You believe she is on here so post this thread so she will see it, but you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Sorry these statements are mutually exclusive.

Seriously, this whole thread proves Leslie is absolutely not being paranoid to think OP has a problem with her.

If she exists I feel sorry for Leslie. Your manager should have moved you op, and no one should be 'honest' about a rice cake smell ffs! Hardly the crime of the century.

I am sure Leslie is counting down the days too, and your manager I imagine. What a cruel snake pit.

If OP is like me she uses humour to gloss over a situation she finds distressing. Vomiting is never pleasant, made worse when you can't escape a triggering aroma. OP tried to move away from the situation., Leslie thwarted her. Hope the 5 days fly in OP

That lady is very threatening to you,I'd leave the office actually maybe get a plane somewhere else .This is unfair on you

@SevenWaystoLeave

Also honestly I know you're trying to be funny in your writing style but you sound very nasty towards this woman who hasn't actually done anything wrong

I agree - leaves a nasty taste (smell?) in the mouth. Particularly given that ‘Leslie’ is on Mumsnet

Ignoring the nasty way you've written...

I had smell sensitivity when pregnant with DS. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there are still 2 of the food smells I can't stomach now. And DS is 17!

Humour can also be a byword for bullying.
Ah you just don't get my humour, you need to laugh along whilst I insult and degrade you - that kind of public sector humour right?

Anyone out there with crochet socks?

My male boss once bravely tackled the issue with a female staff member after her office mate raised the issue with him. It turns out that she was into natural alternatives and she wasn't aware they weren't really cutting it in a fairly warm office. She took the message on board and the problem was completely solved. I don't think your colleague would take it that well as she does sound a bit lacking in boundaries. But I think that household animals will smell unless you keep them really clean and their areas really clean. You'd never have smelt my mother's dogs in her house but she put a lot of effort into making it that way.

What's eccentric about crochet socks?

Glad you said something! She sounds awful. As for messaging you to accuse you of lying, I’d report her and say the stress she’s causing you are causing contractions etc and you’re concerned. She shouldn’t be allowed to behave like this

OP gone now so it doesn't matter any more but:

OP - ''In all honesty I was just trying to figure out if it was worse to tell her it was her smell or if me being perceived as ageist is better!''

Well, if you know full well she's on here then you've just told her haven't you ?

Oh and

OP - ''This is definitely not really happening - is it?''

In all honesty i'd bet in fact it isn't actually, no.