Mother's Day disappointment

[isurvived3under2]

When DH had asked what I wanted to do today, I suggested a place for breakfast. Or I said anywhere really for a nice breakfast/lunch.

Of course he didn’t think of booking early so everywhere is fully booked. Instead he organised a lovely river BBQ/picnic, which is something he and the children love doing. We never eat out so I was looking forward to a proper meal out.

Am I an ungrateful, unreasonable cow for being a bit disappointed?

I would be too, but you’ve done something the kids enjoy and given them a lovely memory. That’s worth more than a full English !
Get on line and treat yourself to something later 😉

DH organised a picnic, we do it all the time but it was still nice

Yes, you are an ungrateful, unreasonable cow. Having a nice BBQ/picnic near the river sounds so much more personal and special than being stuck in a pub with a load of other people, having over-priced food

YABU

What your DH has done sounds much better! What a nice way to spend today!

If he organised and bought and made all the food, drink and packed the car with useful things, I’d probably be pretty happy.

If it was cheese sandwiches, melted Kitkats and sitting on the wet grass, I’d probably be less happy.

Everywhere is always really busy on mother's day so what you did does sound the better . I don't see why you can't have a nice breakfast out somewhere at a later date as well ?

YABU.
Sounds like a lovely day.

At least he made an effort.

Our plans fell through today: we were meant to go to the seaside but dh was ill so the dc and I went to a cafe for cake and hot chocolate.

The small things matter. At least you did something and you got to spend some happy time with your dc. Appreciate that.

@isurvived3under2

When DH had asked what I wanted to do today, I suggested a place for breakfast. Or I said anywhere really for a nice breakfast/lunch.

Of course he didn’t think of booking early so everywhere is fully booked. Instead he organised a lovely river BBQ/picnic, which is something he and the children love doing. We never eat out so I was looking forward to a proper meal out.

Am I an ungrateful, unreasonable cow for being a bit disappointed?

Nope - he asked what you wanted to do and then he didn't do it.

Be grateful, I have covid and am I'll with it, do couldn't even have a picnic

@DoWhatYouLike

Yes, you are an ungrateful, unreasonable cow. Having a nice BBQ/picnic near the river sounds so much more personal and special than being stuck in a pub with a load of other people, having over-priced food

How is doing something regularly done more special than a one off meal out?!

YANBU. He asked what you wanted to do, you told him, he didn't deliver it. Instead you are doing something he likes to do.
Only on Mumsnet would it be unreasonable to be upset at that.

It's not Top Trumps, just because you had a shitter Mothers Day doesn't mean the OP isn't allowed to feel disappointed.

I’d be annoyed that he’d chosen something he wanted not me (but I hate picnics anyway so would probably have stayed home).

@Rubyupbeat

Be grateful, I have covid and am I'll with it, do couldn't even have a picnic

Me too

He made an effort

Of course you aren’t unreasonable. Doesn’t matter if a picnic is a nice/better/child friendly way of spending the day, it’s not what you wanted. You don’t have to be grateful - you have your own preferences and you don’t need to sacrifice that part of yourself on the altar of motherhood.

@Shinyandnew1

If he organised and bought and made all the food, drink and packed the car with useful things, I’d probably be pretty happy.

If it was cheese sandwiches, melted Kitkats and sitting on the wet grass, I’d probably be less happy.

Yep he did everything, it was also a surprise, couldn't have been any nicer. But it's still not what I'd liked to do on one of two days of the year (the other one being my birthday) when my choices should take priority.

I understand why you would feel that way BUT surely you appreciate the effort and thought.

I’m home alone with my daughter today as my other half is working all day so just a regular day here. No lay in, no fancy breakfast/lunch etc. bought my own flowers this morning and cooking my own dinner. All topped off with housework and washing lol!

Be grateful you have a dh who has at least planned something and is there to spend time with.

I’m with you OP, it doesn’t really matter whether anyone else would find this lovely, the main thing is that you wanted what you wanted on your day. That’s ok.

Yes, YABU. He still organised something lovely - at least he made the effort.

Yes, YABU and mean.

What your Husband planned sounded awesome, especially since it's such a lovely day and the weather will be turning colder after today. I think YABU. I agree with others a Barbecue/picnic is much more personal.

It sounds like a lovely idea. I hope you all had a wonderful time.

I'd keep schtum about preferring a meal in a nice restaurant.
It's what's behind the thought that matters, not about what you actually want.
And let's be honest, you shouldn't be expecting anything specific at all.