To leave a sleeping nearly 13 year old for 2 hours at night?

[Sarahcoggles]

WWYD.

Single parent.
Next Saturday DS1 is going to an event and will need picking up at around midnight. I will be out of the house for about 1.5 hours, possibly a bit longer. There’s no one else who can bring him home.
DS2 is nearly 13 and he’ll be asleep from 10pm at the latest.

My Mum lives 2 doors down, and has said she can come to my house while I collect DS1. But she can’t stay all night as we don’t have a spare room, and she usually goes to bed really early, so this will be massively disruptive for her. She’s very elderly and not a great sleeper, so this will wipe her out for a couple of days.

Or I could leave DS2 on his own, having obviously discussed it with him first to check he’s OK with it.

There are no other options, apart from a taxi for DS1 which would cost about £100. We’re very rural so no public transport.

What would you do? I feel awful about both options. This event is all a bit last minute, hence not thinking about it till now.
No local babysitters.

Ah X post. I missed the detail about grandma’s house being unsuitable. Either she stays at yours or you take Ds2 with you in the car. If him calling her then quickly popping over for the rest of the night is not an option then I’d feel less comfortable leaving him alone. It halves his options if he feels he needs company and possibly adds an element of not wanting to upset grandma by admitting he doesn’t want to go to her house.

Surely at 12 he'll be OK with one sorption slightly late night. Can't he just go with you and sleep in a bit longer on Sunday morning? Or doze in the car?

He’s 13, not 3. He can go with you and will cope just fine.

He’ll be fine. Surely he’s statistically safer at home in bed than in a car at night.

He will be fine.

I would totally leave him asleep, just tell him beforehand so he's not worried in the unlikely event of him waking up.

@savehannah

I would totally leave him asleep, just tell him beforehand so he's not worried in the unlikely event of him waking up.

Absolutely. He'll probably sleep through it all anyway.

I would just take him with you. He can have a lie in the next day.

If you're not comfortable leaving him I would take him with you.

He's a teenager, surely he's stayed awake past midnight before or can fall asleep in the car. It's also a Saturday night and the beginning of the Easter hols so he can catch up on any lost sleep over the next couple of days

@Merryoldgoat

Just take him. Who cares about one late night on a weekend? Lie in Sunday job done.

They can take a blanket in the backseat.

I wouldn’t leave them under any circumstances at that age.

Oh, give your head a wobble.

I wouldn't even stress, I'd just leave DS2 at home asleep while I went to get DS1, none of this house swapping/needlessly taking DS2 out in the middle of the night. As long as he is happy to be left then just make sure he knows where the key is, has a phone and leave him.

If it was me then I might arrange to text my mum when I was leaving and when I got back just so she knew to listen out for DS2 but my mum is someone who can wake up, read a text and then fall immediately back to sleep so it wouldn't disturb her in the same way as it would my sister who would wake up, read a text and then take 3hrs to fall asleep again so be exhausted for the entire next day.

You need to take him with you or have your mum stay at yours. No you can’t leave him like this.

Leave him at home. He'll be asleep and your mum is a few doors away if there's a problem.

He'll be safer there than out in the car with you on a Saturday night.

I’d just leave him as long as he was ok with the plan.

Ask his friend’s parents for a sleepover.

Absolutely fine, I’d say.

In 3 years, he will be able to get a job, move out and get married (not saying he will, but he could). I was getting paid to babysit late into the night at not much older than him.

My son would happily stay alone. My daughter want to come with me. Its down to your child what they are comfortable with.

I'd take him with me. He can nap in the car. He can lie in on Sunday morning to catch up. I'd rather he had to have a lie in than risk something going wrong. Your mum sounds hopeless so I wouldn't want to rely on her coping with an emergency.

I would leave my nearly 13yo daughter in the same circumstances. She is sensible and would go and knock on a neighbour’s door ( in our case) or call her Gran/Nan/Aunty as they live fairly close if she was worried.

I would leave him on his own. I really think there is ridiculous paranoia about children being darked on.

Most kids that age are more likely to be in danger during the day than when they are fast asleep.

No I wouldn't leave mine alone at that time, it would probably be ok and the youngest would agree but honestly he would be frightened and upset if he woke and found himself at home alone in the dead of night !

I'd take him with me. One late night, with a compensatory lie in the next day and he'll be fine.

Surely an almost 13 year old can be left at home for 2 hours? I can't understand what the issue is here unless there is some massive drip feed (SEN etc).

Let your mum stay the night. You sleep on the couch.