Don’t marry her, have me

[Timeinabottle]

I’m a child of the 80’s, teen of the 90’s. I was 18 when this song by The Beautiful south came out. Saw the video of it today and it reminded me.
I was skinny, pretty wild, fairly gorgeous… looking back…I remember thinking ‘Poor guy, what a boring life…’
I’m 44 now and I’d likely be seen as that boring wife and my Dh as the guy with all the weekend jobs and child centred things to do…made me think a bit about how if he ever secretly feels like escaping to San Francisco Bay with a younger woman for a more exciting life 🤣
What a horrible song and why aren’t there any about women being in this position and craving some excitement 🤷🏻‍♀️

She'll grab your Sandra Bullocks, then slowly raise her knee.

You can grab someone’s sweaty bollocks then slowly raise your knee surely?

I think someone needs to tell Paul Heaton that he is a middle aged man not a 90's angst ridden teen anymore. Its getting embarrassing.

I also assumed the man hadn't actually married yet, but was just blindly following the path toward mindless, married conformity - where the passion quickly dies and you basically end up resentful housemates. Bickering over the washing up and conducting a never ending war of passive aggression and petty power plays.

The singer is trying to save him from this fate.

I understood the song to be about porn and how porn culture offers a fantasy life away from the 'misery' of long term marriage.
Lots of stereotypes about why men choose to lose themselves in porn or buying sex.
The first two verses imply that she's the fantasy that will 'never grow old and flabby'.
That's just my interpretation of the lyrics.

Great song

I love Paul Heaton’s lyrics - they’re often clever, funny and open to interpretation. Whether you think it’s a criticism of marriage, an insight into the thoughts of the other woman or a man fantasising about an alternative option, the words are sharp, clever and get you interested. There’s not many artists writing clever lyrics nowadays.

Love that song. It's great to sing to as you're bombing along the country roads. But I love A Little Time more. So satisfying.

I just love The Beautiful South.

I interpret it the same as you op. And around the same time we had sheryl crow turning her nose up at the folk 'hosing and scrubbing as best they can in skirts and suits'. I have very much internalised that no one cool ever washes their car, its far too mundane.

@PyongyangKipperbang

I hate this song because the lyrics make no sense!

"She'll grab your Sandra Bullocks,
then slowly raise her knee."

Either she's grabbed or she's kneeing them, pick one!

"those birds will peck your soul out,
and throw away the key."

What?!

She’s not raising her knee to knee him, she’s raising her knee for sex, and she does it slowly because she can’t really be bothered with that nonsense any more (being old and flabby).

‘Those birds will peck your soul out and throw away the key’ - the humdrum of married life will take away you spirit and trap you forever.

I thought it was about a woman trying to convince an engaged man to sleep with her and give up on the idea of marriage and kids. She says 'think of you with a pipe and slippers', as if it hasn't already happened.

I also thought that she said 'I'll never grow so old and flabby' because she only wanted a fling, so would remain young and slim in his mind after it had ended. She didn't sound like she was after any sort of relationship after all!

Hmmmm interesting. I did actually have an encounter with Paul Heaton in the early nineties when I was about 21. He had a girlfriend at the time who I knew nothing about until afterwards.

That song came on the radio in the car when DHs mate was driving him to our wedding. He always jokes it was a sign and he’d ignored it. We’ve been married 26 years so he didn’t do too badly 😂

You have to wash the car take the kiddies to the park don't marry her f**k me
It's just a song which contains sexual innuendo like most do
Get over it

Gaze is a brilliant album..my fave of all their work.
I love Paul Heaton's lyrics and they can always be taken a few ways.
Half of Him is brilliant... women's side of the story of infidelity.

And who else could have described himself as 'on and off a lard arse' in a song

@Timeinabottle

I’m a child of the 80’s, teen of the 90’s. I was 18 when this song by The Beautiful south came out. Saw the video of it today and it reminded me. I was skinny, pretty wild, fairly gorgeous… looking back…I remember thinking ‘Poor guy, what a boring life…’ I’m 44 now and I’d likely be seen as that boring wife and my Dh as the guy with all the weekend jobs and child centred things to do…made me think a bit about how if he ever secretly feels like escaping to San Francisco Bay with a younger woman for a more exciting life 🤣 What a horrible song and why aren’t there any about women being in this position and craving some excitement 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's not "craving" excitement, the song is from the other woman's perspective, there's no implication he acted on her offer.

Another song by them is all woman power - A Little Time, fantastic song.

They really were a great band live. Although I hated that particular song been sung loudly back to them. I dunno why the fuck me got to me 😂😂 He is a very clever writer and a nice bloke as well.

and Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. Luckily I feel that kind of song wouldn’t fly anymore.

Ahem...

Break up with your girlfriend (Girlfriend)
Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored
You could hit it in the mornin' (Mornin')
Yeah, yeah, like it's yours
I know it ain't right
But I don't care (Care)
Break up with your girlfriend (Girlfriend)
Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored

Thank you Ms Grande...

Ha, are you me?! Was listening to this on a radio station the other day, past blast!
Used to love Beautiful South, had then on tape - - old fart--
Now totally empathise with the married woman lol

Paul Heston also wrote ‘Prettiest Eyes’ which is my absolute favourite song about growing older and still being in love. I think I good song writer writes songs about different human situations that don’t necessarily mean they agree with that, more an observation. If everything Jarvis Cocker (for example) sang about was his actual opinion/behaviour then that would be very alarming!

I'm not keen on it. He should be taking his own kids to the park and I don't like the implication that it's his boring wife making him do it, as if it's her fault alone that they had a family!
There's a lot of blaming of the wife, when he sounds a bit wet.

Ariana Grande One last time gets me in the same way.
In the video the world is ending and she's asking him to let his girlfriend die alone so she can shag him one last time! I never understood why people weren't more pissed off about it.

@Bigbus

Paul Heston also wrote ‘Prettiest Eyes’ which is my absolute favourite song about growing older and still being in love. I think I good song writer writes songs about different human situations that don’t necessarily mean they agree with that, more an observation. If everything Jarvis Cocker (for example) sang about was his actual opinion/behaviour then that would be very alarming!

"Take a good look at these crows feet sitting on the prettiest eyes"

It's a fabulous song.
I think his lyrics are so clever and his songs thought provoking

Thanks to this thread I am watching the Beautiful South on Jools Holland on catch up. I’d forgotten what a great & clever band they are.

I don’t think they were really appreciated by their peers at the time. He still tours and does his new stuff which sounds just like his old stuff. It’s all his work he can do what he likes. It’s a shame they aren’t doing Glasto this year.

Paul Heaton lyrics are absolute tongue in cheek hilarious. He nails the absurdity of life and the frailty of human nature in a way few lyricists can. Man’s an underrated genius.

I used to get the fanny flutters from Paul Heaton when he had some meat on him.