AIBU- Can't afford to work

[MissRja]

Just trying to work out a return to work after having a baby In December ( also have a 4 year old in full time school ) unfortunately, my original plans for childcare have fell through, which now means we are looking at paid childcare. My current job have declined My flexible working request , which means I am looking for another job. Due to school pick up/ drops offs I am looking returning on reduced hours over 5 days or term time only. Have worked our I will be bringing home roughly £1200 after tax per month. Nursery fees will be £1100 for a four week month, or £1375 for a 5 week month. This does not include before / after school club fees. If I was to use my wages alone to pay childcare fees I would actually be losing money to work , especially when factoring in petrol , work clothes etc. Surely this can't be right. How in this day and age can I not afford to go to work !! Its ridiculous. The whole reason I am going back is because we can't afford to live off DP wages alone , but it doesn't seem like it will make a difference if i do go back to work. Am i missing something here ? What does everyone else do to work around this ? Would love to hear your experiences / advice !!

You don't "claim the tax back" according to whether you pay 20% or 40% tax etc - it's literally just a 20% contribution into an online account. Bill arrives, you transfer in £400, government pays in £100. I pay no income tax but work over 16 hours, as does DH, so we qualify.

No not a single parent and not eligible for any support from UC unfortunately

@NameChChChChanges1 Your calculation is wrong (unless you're a single parent). 50% of childcare costs should come from your salary & 50% from your partner's which is completely irrelevant to total household income!

@NameChChChChanges1

Your calculation is wrong (unless you're a single parent). 50% of childcare costs should come from your salary & 50% from your partner's

Semantics though, if it all comes from the same pot. Either way when OP goes back to work they will be £0 better off.

NI contributions are automatically paid if you claim child benefit for a child under 12 - so OP won't be missing out on that element.

You work because the nursery/childcare fees will not be that amount forever and you will still be in the same place - or better - career wise than you would be if you gave up work completely for 5 years.

@MissRja

No not a single parent and not eligible for any support from UC unfortunately

So the difficult bit is the two years from the baby’s first birthday to the term after their third birthday, when the free hours of childcare kick in.

Have you tried doing the calculations on joint income to see if you can scrape through taking both sets of wages into account?

Could you work opposite hours e.g. work weekends and he works weeks, or work 4 days each and pay childcare for the overlap?

Other option, if you currently cant live on one wage, is to reduce outgoings.

Semantics though, if it all comes from the same pot. Either way when OP goes back to work they will be £0 better off.

She seems to prefer to stay in work, and there are pension and career benefits to doing so. So it’s about whether they can afford to make that happen between them, even if it’s tight.

She hasnt said what her OH earns, what their outgoings are, or how much spare income he has, so we don’t know if it’s jointly doable. She’s only told us about her earnings.

@NameChChChChanges1

Your calculation is wrong (unless you're a single parent). 50% of childcare costs should come from your salary & 50% from your partner's

This makes no sense. If you put their earnings into one pot, they'd still be taking more out of the pot with nursery fees than they'd be adding to it with OPs salary. Doesn't matter who's salary you calculate it on.

I became a sahm 10 years ago because of this, we were paying 200euro for me to work a job that gave zero flexibility where I'd have been screwing my colleagues had I taken extra days. I'll be honest with you, you have a few things to think about. I am back ft now and I'd forgotten how soul destroying it is to miss children's occasions, to not collect the kids etc. I have friends that don't mind this sort of stuff, they say you just make it up another time, which is true! We are always running, kids are dragged into afterschool, preschool and minder's (although they enjoy them for the most part). When they're sick dh has to juggle stuff to take them and they dont get the attention they'd get after etc. As people say it comes down to where you want to get to in your job and if time off hinders this. Personally I'm not someone who wants to climb any ladders, I'm happy just earning but I'd have stayed on had I been otherwise inclined. And OP every single person I talked to with kids is in the same place. Until they're older you are burning money BUT then you have 2 wages and life will be easier for your family than most.

Thank you everyone for your replies.
In terms of my DP requesting flexible working, it's a bit more difficult. He is self employed and often has to travel for work which sometimes means very early mornings. Obviously I will speak with him about pick and drop offs but I will still need to change mine because he often will not physically make it back to collect children etc.
Also , we split out funds 50/50 so it wouldn't really make much difference where the money is coming from , the point is my salary alone would just barely cover childcare, some months i would be losing take home pay to work. I agree about pension contributions, etc and it's a massive worry for Me. It's just hard to make that a priority sometimes when faced with managing our money in the here and now !
I work in training and in my post there's not much scope for progression or pay Rises so I don't mind what I do as I plan to go back to uni and re train at some point.
It just seems unreal to be in this position and face such a struggle just to work !
Thank you everyone for your advice it's been really helpful reading your opinions and experiences. Glad I'm not alone with this type of situation !

36 hours of citizens advice training….

If neither of you even more than £100k a year

And presuming no disability

You’d be able to receive around £3k back a year

Go on the government childcare calculator

Very straightforward

@Thoosa

Semantics though, if it all comes from the same pot. Either way when OP goes back to work they will be £0 better off.

She seems to prefer to stay in work, and there are pension and career benefits to doing so. So it’s about whether they can afford to make that happen between them, even if it’s tight.

She hasnt said what her OH earns, what their outgoings are, or how much spare income he has, so we don’t know if it’s jointly doable. She’s only told us about her earnings.

She has said The whole reason I am going back is because we can't afford to live off DP wages alone

which rather suggests they can't afford for them to be (jointly) worse off financially.

I agree that people should not underestimate pension and career benefits, but unfortunately these have to come behind paying basic bills.

That's a mad amount. In your shoes I'd be doing whatever job I could get to fit around the times my husband was at home with the children.

Early morning cleaning, after school cleaning, evenings waiting tables and nights doing anything remotely profitable. Once they get the free childcare it will get easier.

My friend did 3 nights a week at Tesco for about five years when her 4th was born.
They just couldn't afford childcare and that was 20 years ago!

It wasn't a bad wage.

So you were tight anyway on your joint earnings?

Try the entitled to benefits calculator (putting in details as they would be on your return to work).

I think you might qualify for some help once the childcare costs are factored in.

www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-calculator/Intro/Home?cid=a1fdd549-84a8-4a7e-af65-c683bda3f7c6

@NameChChChChanges1

Your calculation is wrong (unless you're a single parent). 50% of childcare costs should come from your salary & 50% from your partner's

It really doesn't matter how you word it, the overall left income is the same.

Parent 1 - £1200 pm - £1100 costs = £100
Parent 2 - £2000 pm
Total left £2100

Parent 1 + parent 2 = £3200
Minus £1100 costs = 2100

Same amount different sums. People who say it's 50/50 are just being pedantic.

Perhaps a point is - do you enjoy your job? Is it something you have worked towards? Is there scope for advancement?

Or is it something you derive no joy from and no skills or advancement possible?

Not sure what part of the country you're in but my childminder is so much cheaper than a nursery and worked out much better for me as my 1 year old is a fussy eater, poor sleeper etc, childminder has a little more time to spend with her than in a nursery in my experience. My childminder charges £35 a day and we also get the government childcare help, so I think it works out for every £8 we put into childcare account, they top it up with £2. For two full days a week it costs us £270 a month, but works out at £230 for us with the government childcare top-up. The threshold is quite high too for the government help so hopefully you would be eligible as long as you choose a childcare provider that uses the scheme. I found my childminder on childcare.co.uk - they're all registered and inspected.

@XioXio well no because the assumption is always for the mother to drop her full salary when it's possible that they could jointly go down to 4 days a week each or alternate drop offs and pick offs or whatever. Plus your calculation just ignores NI, pension and future earnings lost.

Also to add my DP is not a particularly high earner. But we are just over the threshold to have any help from UC if I don't return to work. However, as we all know bills are going up ,so what spare cash we may previously have had is now being eaten up by cost of living increases. We have made cut backs with me being on smp and even with that things are very tight. Our maternity leave savings won't last forever Hence why I want to return to work , so we can have a bit of extra Income. However its not looking to work out that way unfortunately

These reasons were exactly why I set up my own business working from home (not MLM/mumpreneur - a real job.)

Do you have any skills that you could use to create a PT business from home that could operate on your own terms (ie schedule work for term time only etc.)

Otherwise I agree 100% with what @EmpressCixi
Things like: bookkeeping, copyediting, graphic art & design, making curtains, dressmaking and alterations , dog walking, pet-minding, technical writing, interior design.

Otherwise, I agree with PPs. The childcare costs and cover should be met equally by both working parents. You need to tackle this with your Dh taking his share of responsibility - trying to adjust his hours to cover child care when you are working. He should certainly pay half, even if it means a short-term drop in income, so that you don't feel like you are working for nothing, and so you have some spending power.

OP one reason I chose a CM over a nursery initially is because she could take my DD an hour earlier than a nursery.

How about trying to get a weekend and evening job then you may not need childcare?

.Also to add my DP is not a particularly high earner. But we are just over the threshold to have any help from UC if I don't return to work

The thing is, the system is set up to be more generous if you DO return to work. Particularly in helping with childcare So it’s worth doing the calculation again for that scenario.