Is this amount of compensation for distress reasonable?

[Wotagain]

My Darling husband died suddenly just over 5 weeks ago.
As the executor I had to contact our bank, First Direct about our joint accounts, and then of course send them the interim death certificate proving he had died. ( it’s an interim one as there will be an inquest).
This was all done within a few days and immediately after myself receiving the interim death certificate from the coroners office.
Two weeks later I received a letter from First Direct, addressed to the executor of Wotagain’s estate, sending their condolences on my death and asking for my death certificate.
To say I was upset is a complete understatement, I was devastated, tearful, shaking, and then really, really angry.
My view is the bereavement team at First Direct had one job, to get the name and details of the deceased person right first time, and not send such a letter to a widow numb with grief.

AIBU to ask for £500 as compensation for this distress?

First Direct have offered me £150 which amounts to just over 1p per day for the years that my husband and I banked with them.

@Wotagain

An award of over £300 and up to around £750 might be fair where the impact of a mistake has caused considerable distress, upset and worry

Did you look at the examples given?

The one closest to your circumstances is the one where the bank accidentally closed the bank account of the wrong identical twin. They got between £100 and £300, and imo that's likely to have caused more (non emotional) issues than the circumstances you describe.

The ones that get up to £750 are either repeated issues or ones that cause hardship - fraud not dealt with appropriately or an insurance claim not dealt with correctly.

I think it's incredibly unlikely that an ombudsman would put you in that bracket based on both the website and what you've said.

As I said before, is this fight really a good use of your time right now?

If you are determined to try to get more, maybe you should suggest that instead of compensating you, they donated the £500 that you are looking for to a charity that you choose. They might go for that.

[quote MistressoftheDarkSide]@Wotagain

My beloved DP passed on 25th January. I'm posting to say i hear you, completely and utterly. Your world is shattered and what remains of it can't even function efficiently to allow you to the things demanded of you in terms of red tape when you are gritting your teeth, trying to be polite, trying to be as efficient as you can, trying to be mindful of other people and their grief......it goes on and on and there is no way to escape. It's not grabbiness, it's trying to get across to an institution that their customers, at their most vulnerable, require effective administration processes that do not cause additional distress, and sometimes it takes a swift kick to the wallet for them to really take notice. You have been distressed and inconvenienced, due to shoddy processes.

During my "grief journey / process" I have encountered and been told of many such instances - given that many people die every day and processes are pretty standard, attention to detail should be top of the list.

I too have an interim death certificate. When it came through, it had an out of date address by 20 odd years on it. I had corrected it at the first hospital he was at, and the second. And speaking to the coroners office. Multiple times. Getting new certificates with the correct address on delayed release of my DP for burial. Not only that, but the address was incorrect online for the Tell Us Once thing. So I rang the coroners who were going to email me a new reference number. Embroiled with funeral arrangements I chased it up this week. I am still waiting.

I have been transferring direct debits from my DPs account before it gets sorted out. Utilities, that sort of thing. Mostly fine. Except our water supply company won't do it without seeing a death certificate. Which I have emailed to them. Standard response time according to the automatic reply - 10 days, but they are very busy so it might take longer. If I get any grief over lack of payment when his account goes out of action, they'll get the rough end of my tongue.

So, OP rage away. It is part if the grieving process for sure, especially when a loss is out of the blue and sends you reeling. No-one gets to tell anyone else how they "do grief", no-one gets to judge or set time limits or question whether your being rational or proportionate because love and grief have their own kind of madness that has to work itself out in it's own time. Rushing it, suppressing it, hiding it - these things store up problems of their own and can prolong the agony even more.

I send you love OP, and absolute solidarity [/quote]
wonderful post which I hope the OP finds comforting.
Much love to you both on your losses.
Op, I don't know if you are on the bereavement board already but you might find some support and understanding there.

[quote MistressoftheDarkSide]@Wotagain

My beloved DP passed on 25th January. I'm posting to say i hear you, completely and utterly. Your world is shattered and what remains of it can't even function efficiently to allow you to the things demanded of you in terms of red tape when you are gritting your teeth, trying to be polite, trying to be as efficient as you can, trying to be mindful of other people and their grief......it goes on and on and there is no way to escape. It's not grabbiness, it's trying to get across to an institution that their customers, at their most vulnerable, require effective administration processes that do not cause additional distress, and sometimes it takes a swift kick to the wallet for them to really take notice. You have been distressed and inconvenienced, due to shoddy processes.

During my "grief journey / process" I have encountered and been told of many such instances - given that many people die every day and processes are pretty standard, attention to detail should be top of the list.

I too have an interim death certificate. When it came through, it had an out of date address by 20 odd years on it. I had corrected it at the first hospital he was at, and the second. And speaking to the coroners office. Multiple times. Getting new certificates with the correct address on delayed release of my DP for burial. Not only that, but the address was incorrect online for the Tell Us Once thing. So I rang the coroners who were going to email me a new reference number. Embroiled with funeral arrangements I chased it up this week. I am still waiting.

I have been transferring direct debits from my DPs account before it gets sorted out. Utilities, that sort of thing. Mostly fine. Except our water supply company won't do it without seeing a death certificate. Which I have emailed to them. Standard response time according to the automatic reply - 10 days, but they are very busy so it might take longer. If I get any grief over lack of payment when his account goes out of action, they'll get the rough end of my tongue.

So, OP rage away. It is part if the grieving process for sure, especially when a loss is out of the blue and sends you reeling. No-one gets to tell anyone else how they "do grief", no-one gets to judge or set time limits or question whether your being rational or proportionate because love and grief have their own kind of madness that has to work itself out in it's own time. Rushing it, suppressing it, hiding it - these things store up problems of their own and can prolong the agony even more.

I send you love OP, and absolute solidarity [/quote]
Thank you, and I’m so sorry you ‘get it too’, I’m overwhelmed with flowers, can I send you cake and tea instead?

You’ve nailed it by saying it’s not grabbiness, it’s conveying that customers at their most vulnerable need effective processes that do not cause additional distress.

@Wotagain

I suppose what is so terribly difficult to convey is how emotionally vulnerable and exhausted I feel, coping with immense grief at a sudden, awful death, and dealing with what to a normal person, ‘not in state of shock’ is a routine admin error.

Sorry for your loss but why would £500 make you feel better? It was clearly a mistake but why would money change how you feel?

Sorry for your loss OP but I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask for/expect money for this admin error. I know you’re hurting (and I understand how difficult it is as I lost both parents, with whom I was extremely close, at a young age) but you are massively projecting onto this company and essentially blaming them for your upset feelings surrounding the bereavement.

It doesn’t seem like it now, but time is a great healer and you should try to let go of things like this which cause you distress at this already very difficult time.

I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t understand why £500 would make up for it anymore than £150. An apology is surely sufficient. These things happen in admin and whilst distressing I struggle to see why money would make that easier to bear? It’s done, they apologise, they will definitely do it again, and move on.

@Wotagain

Tea and cake most appreciated - even the occasional xxxx

It's a horrible club to be in x I wish we both weren't....... hugs.

You’ve nailed it by saying it’s not grabbiness, it’s conveying that customers at their most vulnerable need effective processes that do not cause additional distress

It was human error. It wasn’t ‘the organisation’, it was one person who I am sure is very sorry for the mistake they made.
If £500 will make you feel better, then ask for it. It’s unlikely to be awarded, but you can only ask.

I’m very sorry about your husband, it’s a devastating loss.

However, you’re lashing out at people. That’s fine, it’s normal. Anger is part of grief. You’re understandably angry at the bank, but unless they’re fined £5m, it’s not really going to impact them at all. You’re the one who’ll come away feeling exhausted and angry.

Sadly, no amount of compensation will make up for the loss of your husband so please don’t spend more time on this issue than is healthy for you.

This particular mistake was made by an individual that was working your account. As yours was a joint account they have gone into the wrong id when they have sent the letter. (No excuse but this was a human error)

I would imagine that they feel really bad about it.

I don't think £150 is unreasonable. There will be a limit that they offer before you would get a final response to enable you to pass this to the ombudsman.

You could probably push it a bit. Highlight your long term relationship and distress and decline the £150. That may push them up a bit.

[quote DesignerRecliner]@Wotagain you've had no 'material loss', you've not had a financial detriment. The trouble and upset occurred on receiving communication in the wrong name - which would absolutely be upsetting. But for purely distress and upset, I would award £100-150, and I've been with FOS for 6 years, so have seen plenty of similar cases [/quote]
Gosh, I’m shocked that you’ve seen plenty of similar cases.
So are you saying that it’s fairly common for financial institutions to write to people who have recently been bereaved, telling the recipient of the letter that they are the dead person?
If that’s the case, what an indictment of the industry, how sloppy.

It's a clerical error, it's shit but it happens.

In the kindest sense OP I think there may be some displacement going on here. You have recently lost your husband and of course you're angry and upset, but could you be fixating on this as a distraction? Don't get stewed up chasing petty compensation it's only going to make you feel worse because I doubt you'll get it unless you really want to fight over it at a time when I'm assuming you've got more going on.

So sorry for your loss.
Sadly this situation seems to be common. The exact same thing happened with my mother when my father passed away. It was a bank initially who sent letters in error requesting death certificates etc thatbhad already been received. They alao kept calling to speak to my father and refused to speak to my mother because they didnt have his consent (but had a death certificate).
Then the continued to write to my mother but all correspondance was addressed to my father.
It was very upsetting.
There were complaints made but no compensation made as it was human error.
Id take what has been offered. Doesnt stop it being upsetting though.

Do people really not understand that this error is not just upsetting due to the gravity of it, but it means that the OP has to re-visit and get put right the whole thing and that it has the potential to cause delays and complications in other areas?

Dealing with each company / official body requires concentration, making sure you give all the right information, sometimes spending long periods of time on hold while staring at a death certificate and paperwork that seems to reduce your lived one to a number, a mere cog in the system?

It can mean having to repeat over and over again the pertinent "facts" which are often traumatic, to people with varying degrees of comprehension and empathy.

Doing all of this while feeling as though your skin has been peeled off and every part of you hurts ..... if these kind of errors are so endemic in both private companies and other institutions, it really does need to be addressed.

@MistressoftheDarkSide

Do people really not understand that this error is not just upsetting due to the gravity of it, but it means that the OP has to re-visit and get put right the whole thing and that it has the potential to cause delays and complications in other areas?

Dealing with each company / official body requires concentration, making sure you give all the right information, sometimes spending long periods of time on hold while staring at a death certificate and paperwork that seems to reduce your lived one to a number, a mere cog in the system?

It can mean having to repeat over and over again the pertinent "facts" which are often traumatic, to people with varying degrees of comprehension and empathy.

Doing all of this while feeling as though your skin has been peeled off and every part of you hurts ..... if these kind of errors are so endemic in both private companies and other institutions, it really does need to be addressed.

I absolutely do understand that. We had a similar issue when my brother died in his early 20’s in tragic circumstances. My parents were too traumatised to deal with the admin, I did it. £500 wouldn’t have made it any better than £150 would have done, however.

I work in a financial institution. Sometimes letters are system generated and it's not noticed it's automatically addressed to a deceased person.

I'm very sorry you're upset and sorry for your loss.

@TDCtomorrow

I work in a financial institution. Sometimes letters are system generated and it's not noticed it's automatically addressed to a deceased person. I'm very sorry you're upset and sorry for your loss.

Please read the OP The letter telling me I was dead was sent to me, not my late husband. Someone had recorded me as the dead person, asking for my death certificate I did not find it funny, odd that, what with coming to terms with my husband actually being dead.

They weren’t ‘telling you you’re dead’. You know you’re not dead, they can’t ‘tell’ you you are. An employer made a human error and recorded the wrong person on the account as being deceased.

@ReadyToMoveIt

They weren’t ‘telling you you’re dead’. You know you’re not dead, they can’t ‘tell’ you you are. An employer made a human error and recorded the wrong person on the account as being deceased.

Well that’s all right then, no harm done, I completely overreacted, I should apologise, my bad,

The bereavement team has one job.

All you needed was an apology. How is claiming money going to make a jot of difference? It seems really inappropriate.

That’s not what I said (as you know). I know it’s fucking hard, as I said above, I’ve been there. £500 wouldn’t have helped me in that situation, but again, as I said above, if you think it’ll help you then ask for it. If you don’t ask you don’t get. The ombudsman guidance means it’s unlikely to be awarded but you can only ask.

@MistressoftheDarkSide

Do people really not understand that this error is not just upsetting due to the gravity of it, but it means that the OP has to re-visit and get put right the whole thing and that it has the potential to cause delays and complications in other areas?

Dealing with each company / official body requires concentration, making sure you give all the right information, sometimes spending long periods of time on hold while staring at a death certificate and paperwork that seems to reduce your lived one to a number, a mere cog in the system?

It can mean having to repeat over and over again the pertinent "facts" which are often traumatic, to people with varying degrees of comprehension and empathy.

Doing all of this while feeling as though your skin has been peeled off and every part of you hurts ..... if these kind of errors are so endemic in both private companies and other institutions, it really does need to be addressed.

Of course people understand how a simple error can have far reaching effects at an incredibly difficult time. But that didn't actually happen in this instance. OP was distressed at being written to as if she was deceased. This was one letter generated in error which clearly upset her. She informed the bank of their error and has received an apology and offer of compensation all within 3 weeks. Of course it shouldn't have happened but no system or person is infallible. But this seems to have been rectified without unnecessary complications.

I’m sorry for your loss.

£500 wouldn’t make me feel better or worse than £150 would, nor would £1000.

I would feel better for a bouquet costing less than £50, and a hand written card apologising and saying the reason it was only a card and not a call as well, was that they didn’t want a call to feel intrusive. But that a call would be arranged if I messaged

I don’t think that more money is the appropriate response here.

@LosingTheWill2022
And you know all of this to be true because????

I have not received an apology, compensation is being negotiated, and the issue has not been rectified, but crack on, fill in the gaps with your imagination

I work in finance.

There's recently been a spate of letters addressed to people who are not deceased, but telling them they are and asking for death certs etc.

It's a massive clerical error at the credit bureau. I don't work for FD and we have had trouble too. From what i know most financial institutions have.

You should accept the 150.00 thats very generous since I'd wager that this error is caused by the bureau not FD.

I'm sorry for your loss.