Is this amount of compensation for distress reasonable?

[Wotagain]

My Darling husband died suddenly just over 5 weeks ago.
As the executor I had to contact our bank, First Direct about our joint accounts, and then of course send them the interim death certificate proving he had died. ( it’s an interim one as there will be an inquest).
This was all done within a few days and immediately after myself receiving the interim death certificate from the coroners office.
Two weeks later I received a letter from First Direct, addressed to the executor of Wotagain’s estate, sending their condolences on my death and asking for my death certificate.
To say I was upset is a complete understatement, I was devastated, tearful, shaking, and then really, really angry.
My view is the bereavement team at First Direct had one job, to get the name and details of the deceased person right first time, and not send such a letter to a widow numb with grief.

AIBU to ask for £500 as compensation for this distress?

First Direct have offered me £150 which amounts to just over 1p per day for the years that my husband and I banked with them.

"I think £150 is crap. The bereavement team have one job - just one job and they fucked up really badly."

I agree.

So many people excusing it.

Well no wonder such things continue!

@ReadyToMoveIt

This is a huge, huge company, that deals in money. My feeling is that only money will talk

For such a huge financial company (I work for one), £500 won’t ‘talk’ any more than £150 will, sadly.

This. Adding £500 to an apology doesn't make it more valid or less hurtful. It won't "punish" a huge company to lose £500 or £5000. The acknowledgement of your hurt and distress and that they were wrong is worth far more. The only thing asking for more is going to do is put you in a situation where you are going back and forwards dealing with with something I would imagine you could really do without right now. You must be absolutely raging at life inside understandably and I'm truly sorry you are going through this. As you've said, you will donate the money. Take the £150 and give it to the charity and give yourself a break.

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. And I'm so sorry you were hurt by this error.

That said, I'm not sure that it's worth it or appropriate to pursue a higher payment. As a massive international bank, £500 may not make that much more of an impression on them than £150, whereas the fight may be quite draining for you.

You're right that the First Direct team should have got it right and not made the error in the first place. But errors do happen. It's worth thinking through some possibilities ... perhaps the person responsible was suffering through their own bad situation but wasn't able to take adequate time off work. Compassion might be called for all round.

It does seem hideously insensitive though.

YANBU to be upset, but £500 is bonkers. A token £50 and a "whoops, we're very sorry" would be completely acceptable.

My poor mum received loads of "Dear Mr Zingally" after my dear dad died very unexpectedly. Even now, 4 years on, she still gets the odd bit of post for him. Errors happen.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is very hard, and it makes us do and say things we'd never normally do. You are directing your upset in the wrong direction.

My poor mum received loads of "Dear Mr Zingally" after my dear dad died very unexpectedly. Even now, 4 years on, she still gets the odd bit of post for him. Errors happen

Not what I’m complaining about, I was written to telling me I had died. I was asked to send my death certificate

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Personally I don't think this should be about money. I've suffered several bereavements in the last year and have had endless mistakes from HSBC, Lloyds and pension companies. Awful mistakes such as sending me a letter saying that there was no spouse's pension for my mother when my DF died. (There was and if I hadn't queried it we would never have known). I've had loads of letters from the banks addressed to the people who died. Ive battled with bureaucracy and incompetence for months. I've spontaneously been offered £150 compensation thee times but for me it is not about the money and I have told them I don't want their money. I understand you are angry, I know we are all different but for me having the opportunity to tell them about the impact of their mistake and getting a proper apology was far more important. And then move on. There are so many things to do when someone dies. Conserve your energy. 💐

@MrsCat1
Were you written to, or was your mother written to telling her she had died and asked to send her death certificate when dealing with your father’s estate?

I repeat this is not about letters addressed to my late husband, this was one sent to me, telling me I had died and they needed my death certificate.

I was written to. I have POA for my mother's affairs. I received all of the communication I mentioned plus a lot more.

@MrsCat1 So, do you when you were helping sort out the estate you were also written to and told you had died and they needed your death certificate?
I didn’t realise it was such a frequent mistake.

[quote Wotagain]@MrsCat1
Were you written to, or was your mother written to telling her she had died and asked to send her death certificate when dealing with your father’s estate?

I repeat this is not about letters addressed to my late husband, this was one sent to me, telling me I had died and they needed my death certificate.[/quote]
Actually this happened to my father years back when his own father died. We actually saw the funny side to it considering he was very much alive and it was a clerical error which happens in every single job in the world. What we didn't do was turn into greedy sods and look for compo.

I cannot believe someone who is so bereft and full of grief would be pursuing the bank for 500 big ones after already being offered 150. You are NOT bloody well dead, ,they made a mistake stop making it about money. Christ Almighty.

[quote Wotagain]@MrsCat1
Were you written to, or was your mother written to telling her she had died and asked to send her death certificate when dealing with your father’s estate?

I repeat this is not about letters addressed to my late husband, this was one sent to me, telling me I had died and they needed my death certificate.[/quote]
It was human error, it wasn't intentionally done to hurt you, people make mistakes. You need to stop being angry, accept the apology and the £150 and let it go now

I actually think mistakenly asking for your death certificate is much less upsetting than companies insisting on speaking to the deceased - which is much more common.

I'm really sorry for your loss, but I do think they've been reasonable with their offer. I can understand why you're lashing out but I very much doubt additional money would made you feel better even if the situation warranted it. It's a clerical error, it's hurt you and in the circumstances it's obvious why it's done that, but this isn't a deliberate act.

@Wotagain I think your last couple of posts illustrate how subjective these things can be.
You seem to be saying that receiving a letter requesting your death certificate was more distressing than someone else receiving a letter addressed to their deceased loved one.

These are things that can't be simply measured and quantified.

The errors should not have happened in any of these situations but individuals will react in many and varied ways.

Sorry for your loss.

They don't have to offer you anything so £150 is very reasonable.

@girlmom21

I actually think mistakenly asking for your death certificate is much less upsetting than companies insisting on speaking to the deceased - which is much more common.

Agreed

My mother died very suddenly a month ago. I am the executor of her estate. When I rang round everyone who needed to know, several of the companies told me in advance that some mailings may well be despatched inadvertently as the systems they use isn’t completely instant. I understood. I don’t believe any company would knowingly send anything out to a dead person. I think your response is understandable but your desire to get compensation of any amount is not.

[quote Wotagain]@MrsCat1
Were you written to, or was your mother written to telling her she had died and asked to send her death certificate when dealing with your father’s estate?

I repeat this is not about letters addressed to my late husband, this was one sent to me, telling me I had died and they needed my death certificate.[/quote]
It doesn’t make sense. Perhaps you could post a redacted copy of the letter?

@Soontobe60 it literally says the OP's name instead of her husbands. They pressed the wrong name on the screen.

[quote Wotagain]@MrsCat1
Were you written to, or was your mother written to telling her she had died and asked to send her death certificate when dealing with your father’s estate?

I repeat this is not about letters addressed to my late husband, this was one sent to me, telling me I had died and they needed my death certificate.[/quote]
I personally don’t see how that is any more distressing than having letters addressed to a dead loved one after the company has been informed of their death. It’s an obvious administrative error (that shouldn’t have been made, but errors happen).

@girlmom21

I actually think mistakenly asking for your death certificate is much less upsetting than companies insisting on speaking to the deceased - which is much more common.

Absolutely this

OP, it's a stupid mistake, unacceptable, but £150 sounds quite generous to me

Sorry but you are being ridiculous. You're going through a horrible ordeal dealing with your husbands death but your reaction to a genuine admin mistake isn't proportionate. Sounds like you're taking your grief and anger out on this one issue.

The fact they've offered you anything is generous & asking or expecting more imo takes away from the complaint & just makes you look grabby

A similar thing happened when my Dad died, a letter came addressed really badly & upset my Mum enormously. I phoned the bank, spoke to someone in charge, they agreed it was unacceptable and apologised. A few days later my Mum got a very nice letter in the post, an apology & an assurance it had been flagged up to try and prevent it happening again. We felt that was a totally appropriate course of action and that was it

Just accept the £150 & accept it for what it was - an unfortunate human error

Sorry to hear this happened but I am not sure how you think financial compensation will help? Banks employ humans, humans make mistakes. I think it will be less stressful just to try and forget about it and move on.

My husband died recently, to verify his death we had to call 111 who sent a GP. The next day a text came to his phone (and no, we hadn't used his phone to call 111) asking him to rate the service he'd been given, I was bloody furious. The NHS had let him down from start to finish and now a text when he was dead felt like the final kick in the teeth. I got an apology but no amount of compensation will account for their error. I'd accept the £150 and give it to charity.

I used to work in the bereavement department of a different bank. I remember once when someone accidentally removed the surviving party from the joint account and left it solely in the deceased name, and then wrote to the deceased person to advice they had removed the surviving party from the account. Mistakes happen but it doesn't take away the upset it has caused.

They are also usually very good at accepting the error though and giving compensation where necessary, I'm just not sure if £500 is too much. They will have limits as to what they can give for the distress caused (like what you have experienced) and the inconvenience caused (if you experienced parking costs whilst been in the bank ect). You could respond saying it's not a sufficient amount for the distress that they have caused, the worst that can happen now is that they say £150 is the most the will give and they will not increase the compensation.

Sorry for your loss xx