Can i ask is your older sister bossy

[PeterandSandy]

For those that have an older sister is she bossy? Mine is and controlling and i noticed someone on here having a problem with their older sister the other day.

So can i ask is your older sister bossy and how do you manage. I find it difficult to manage my sister at times.

Growing up she was yes.

Now she's a headteacher so has others to boss around

My younger sister is incredibly controlling. It's her way or no way. She's also the golden child and hs got away with this all her life.

I have a younger sister and I would say that I tend to be the one who, er, takes charge now and again. I tend to gauge how assertive she is feeling at any one time and step in to help take the the pressure off her a bit. No idea if she feels that's how it is, or whether she's thinking I'm being over-assertive, but she's free to say what she really thinks if she wants.

I wouldn't take it badly if she said I was over stepping at any point, I'd rather know to be honest. When I was much younger I was definitely a bit bossy and manipulative, I'm not now!

Yes and I love her more for it. She shouldered a huge burden growing up on the 60s and 70s with our very difficult parents. Myself and my younger siblings are still here because of her and so she gets to be a bossy controlling domineering pain in the arse. My dh gets very irritated but secretly I jyst find it funny now.

I don’t have a sister but I have a sister in law who’s a bit older. She tends to be bossy, acts superior etc. I won’t have any of it and her way of “coping” is to not speak to me. Not awkward because she lives in another country anyway. I do have to say that in the 20+ years that I’ve known her, things have just gotten worse not better so it’s no loss to me.

Age is nothing to do with it, it's purely down to her personality than what order you were born in.

Yes my older sister is bossy and still plays the Im the oldest when anything wider family related comes up.

I am NC with her now after too many unforgivable things

Nope. Not bossy at all.

Yes! Also my DH’s older sister. Whatever they decide goes in our respective families. They hold a lot of power and it’s so annoying.

Are you mainly friends with 2nd and 3rd borns by any chance? We realised our large group of close friends is all 2nd/3rd borns except for 1 (bossy!) person. And hardly any of the 2nd/ 3rd borns are married to 1st borns. It seems to be true for our elder sisters too and acquaintances. There must be something in it?

@WhatHaveIFound

Mine likes to think she can boss me around from a distance and I let her think she's getting her own way. In reality nothing could be further from the truth!

i like this one.

Yes you just end up doing what you want to anyway.

I'm the older sister. Mine would say I'm bossy, I would say she's the most stubborn and demanding person I've ever met. Dictates where we go out for a meal, where we go on a day out, what we do... any "well what does everyone else want to do, shall we take a vote" and I'm immediately called difficult and causing an argument, and yes, bossy and controlling.

Amazingly, I'm super laid back with everyone else to the point its probably annoying. "Where do you want to eat? I don't mind, do you fancy something in particular?"

We don't speak much.

Yep, my older dsis sees herself as the matriarch of the family even though dm is still alive.
She lives in another country, practically on the other side of the world and is happy to tell everyone what is happening in our own lives 1000s of miles away, tells us what what we should be doing, she will even get to hear of a conversation that she wasn't part of and tell you /argue that your version is wrong because she know exactly what was said even though she wasn't there and you were 🙄
She dictates how we should care for our dm when she hasn't set foot or seen dm in years.
Thinks we should bow to her superior knowledge and wisdom just because she's the oldest.

She absolutely boils my piss, I refuse to interact with her anymore

I have 6 older sisters, and they are all quite bossy. 4 of them are control freaks too.

@PermanentTemporary

Yes, but it's fine

She's a doer and gets stuff done. I admire that. I've learned, eventually, that I don't have to do everything she says, the world won't end.

Mine too, but it's fine.

She's the oldest of a generation and is increasingly taking over the 'head of the family' role as parents/aunts/uncles get older, but it works for us.

I'm a bit more laid-back and actually quite appreciate a bit of direction.

I'm the oldest and I'm 100% bossy

As the middle child, it was either my older sister who got her way or my little sister.

My older sister is generally still a bit bossy, but not as bad as she was. It's possibly down to the fact that I stand up for myself now and dont take her bullshit anymore. If she does overstep, then I tell her (and have a good giggle at her antics with my mum)

I worry that my little sister would say yes.
However we have a large age gap, and a generational divide (she's a millennial).
Overall I just think we are really different.

Is my older sister bossy? Only in the same way as the pope is Catholic! How do I cope? Only see her on high days and holidays for a maximum of 3 hours and find someone to offload on afterwards. And tell her to fuck off if she's really bugging me (only happened twice so far).

I'm the bossy older sister, and my little sister actually rather liked it because she read it, correctly, as me loving and looking after her.
Once she was old enough and had enough life experience, though, she started bossing me back and there then ensued many happy years of bossing each other about, while refusing to let anyone else boss either of us .

She died last year, and even in her final illness she was as bossy as ever. I miss that. Nobody else has ever been able to boss me like her - because nobody else has ever understood and loved me like she did.

Yep, bossier to the point that when I had my first baby, she would lecture me on how to handle him. Years before she even had one herself.

I am the older sister. And yes, have a tendency to be bossy! 😂

yes indeed. Bossy and felt she could tell me what to do well into my 40s. I remember once having a lunch with my fil and mil (who adored me) and sister was there. I was gently teasing FIL about something and she took me aside to say "you shouldn't be talking to him like that". I looked at her and said "he is my fil not yours and I'll talk to him exactly as I want". She was a bit taken aback by that.

It all came to a head when she refused to speak to me when I wouldn't take a job she thought I should take (seriously). It was horrible for a while but it did re-set us. I honestly think she thought that I would do as she said - even though I was married with 3 children and a job and it didn't suit me. It was a shock to her when I didn't and didn't give into the emotional blackmail. Since then we've been fine. She has stopped bossing me. It was always a choice.

We have reared our children NOT to be like this.

DH is the eldest and is not bossy. He is the one everyone comes to to sort stuff out though.

I am the older sister. I certainly had more ideas when we were younger and led things a lot ( i hate the term bossy, it's so belittling). But now I barely contact my brother, i have nothing to be bossy about, I'm not sure how that looks as an adult? We meet at family events we are both asked to go to. We don't talk outside of family events. Neither of us have events in our homes, so I'm not really sure how I'd go about being bossy at this point.

I'm an older and younger sister. I don't think I'm bossy - I don't need to be, because I am always right and they know better than to disagree with me 🤣

I'm the middle of 3 sisters and the youngest is the bossiest! Me and older DS are super laid back, her even more so than me!