Reminder: If you are travelling abroad with your kids and have a different surname to them, take a birth certificate to prove you’re related.

[bluebeach]

Not an AIBU, just posting this public service announcement here for traffic.
I forgot!

A very good tip/reminder.

I always take my DC's birth certificate when travelling without DH (I kept my maiden name), but I've never been asked to show it.

I've heard others having trouble not having it though.

Makes me wonder how they decide who to check.

You might be asked if travelling alone with young children if other parent is aware. Always best to travel with a "permission" letter.

(Strangely though... I've been asked for one once... but PILs have never been asked when travelling with various grandchildren! Its random)

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

You might be asked if travelling alone with young children if other parent is aware. Always best to travel with a "permission" letter.

(Strangely though... I've been asked for one once... but PILs have never been asked when travelling with various grandchildren! Its random)

To make it clear... I share a name with my children!)

I was going to say that it’s best to take a permission letter from the other parent if travelling alone. Or a death certificate in my case unfortunately (widow). As if taking the children abroad on my own wasn’t difficult enough.

It makes me wonder why parents names aren’t put onto children’s passports.

That’s such a good point about putting the parents’ names in the passport.

I’ve been interrogated in the queue before when travelling with DD alone. It took a good 5/10 minutes and was quite intimidating. I only managed to get away by suggesting they looked at my (literally THOUSANDS) of PFB photos on my phone, including ones of me breastfeeding.

I think I maybe made things worse for myself though as there was a sweet woman on the same flight as me who kept on saying that DD was a beautiful boy, so handsome etc etc. This went on both before the flight and then on the plane and AT NO TIME did I think to tell her that DD was actually a girl. I think I was really tired and didn’t want to get into a conversation. Then when we landed and were in the queue for immigration the same woman asked me my ‘son’s’ name. By then it was too embarrassing to tell her my son was actually a daughter so I lied and said ‘Max’. Anyway, I think the passport official heard and that’s why I got questioned.

It's wise to do that even if you share a name. Not sharing a name is not the primary reason people are stopped.

@bluebeach

It makes me wonder why parents names aren’t put onto children’s passports.

How would that work with absent parents?

I've only ever been questioned on return to the UK, never on the way out which I don't get

I’ve never been asked to produce them, but I always take a permission letter and birth certificate.

DD did once get asked by US immigration how she knew me though. She’d have been 10 at the time. (We have a different surname)

Gunpowder that's actually hilarious

My ds doesn't see his dad and we have no contact details. I take a copy of his deed poll as his BC has a different surname! (His dads and his name is double barrelled with mine)

We got questioned once and I think after ds had shared half his life story they decided to send us on to shut him up 🤣🤣🤷‍♀️

And if you do share a name, it's still worth it.
I've been stopped with the kids when traveling without DH. Thankfully he was still in the airport. I took a permission letter after that.

Good advice. ALSO good advice is to check the expiry dates of your passport AND the passports of your children before booking a trip overseas. There seems to be a whole wave of people on mumsnet this past few months, who have booked a trip abroad and then (several months later,) discovered the passport of one of their children, expires 3 days before they are due to go!

Yes I agree. SIL was detained coming back home as they didn't believe that her daughter was in fact her child.

She was there over an hour. It meant that she put her foot down about getting married though. She gave my brother the choice of marrying her (they were engaged) or she was changing her DDs name to hers. They got married 8 months later.

She was there over an hour. It meant that she put her foot down about getting married though. She gave my brother the choice of marrying her (they were engaged) or she was changing her DDs name to hers. They got married 8 months later

If he is on the bc which I’m guessing he is she wouldn’t have been able to change it without his permission anyway

@AHungryCaterpillar in my home country parents names are in child’s passport. You won’t get a child’s passport without both parents signing the application form.

I always travel with birth certificates, get stopped a lot even though the children have my very unusual surname as a middle name.

[quote AdriannaP]@AHungryCaterpillar in my home country parents names are in child’s passport. You won’t get a child’s passport without both parents signing the application form.

I always travel with birth certificates, get stopped a lot even though the children have my very unusual surname as a middle name.[/quote]
That’s why I prefer it how we are now, my ex is absent so wouldn’t be able to get a passport for my children in that case.

@MargotMoon I have only been asked once, also on the return journey. Even stranger, I was travelling with DH who has the same surname as DC, and we were all checking in at the same desk. I'm not sure what the airline person thought was going on.

This topic gives me rage. My husband I and can bring the kids abroad because there's two of us. If there's one of us we need a letter. Which basically stems down to bring an extra person if you're planning an abduction. There is no proof at all that either of us are our kids legal guardians. But it's only necessary if there's one of us. Meanwhile I once got questioned but dh was just behind me, but I could have grabbed anyone with the same surname as my son and no one would bat an eyelid. On what planet does any of this make sense?

@bluebeach kind of the opposite When I was younger we were named on a parents passport (we were on my dads!) but they don't do that anymore. I can't remember whether we needed a separate passport too...

I never travelled abroad with my DC for this reason. All my DC lived with me full time, so it felt very wrong to have to ask ex for a permission letter. Simply stuck to UK holidays until youngest aged 16. If I had my time again, I would give all DC my surname.

Seems a ridiculously unfair system... in many countries it's the norm for parents to have different last names to their children.

Seems a bit ridiculous really. How on earth can they validate a “permission letter” - if you wanted to abduct a child you could just produce one couldn’t you?! Birth certificate at least makes more sense.

Whenever I take DS abroad I just write a letter stating that his father his aware of the holiday and give the dates, where we are staying and the company we are travelling with. I get his father to sign it and put his phone number and address on it. We were stopped the first time we went abroad, but on the way back into the UK. The lady asked DS who I was and he said "Her? That's calls me by my first name"!! I was mortified 😂 Luckily the lady just laughed and let us through rather than calling in the big guns 🤦‍♀️.

I never have but I think you're technically meant to.

I find this really annoying. We carried them for 9 months and went through birth yet still have to prove they are ours yet any random with the same surname could take them through without them batting an eyelid.