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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For telling my neighbour he should stay home

448 replies

queensonia · 23/03/2022 18:16

My next door neighbours both tested positive for COVID on the weekend. Today I saw the husband getting in his car to go to work. He works for a medium sized public company with a lot of staff. He said he was told that he’s not legally obliged to isolate and that if he felt well enough he should still go into work. I told him he was morally obliged to isolate because he could infect colleagues who may suffer far worse than he is currently and pass it on to their relatives who may also get very ill or die. Is this what everyone is doing now.? In my industry we are pcr tested twice a week and not allowed on site until the test is negative.

OP posts:
MargosKaftan · 23/03/2022 21:09

@Darbs76 - your position does seem to be pretty standard for those who's jobs can be done entirely from home. Of course its fine to not go to the office but still do your work from home, problem is for jobs where it can't be done from home. Like the OPs neighbour, what do you do then?

If you are not sick with covid you aren't entitled to sick pay. The neighbour could lie to his boss that he's too sick to work. He could take unpaid leave or use up his holiday allowance. Its easy to say you wouldn't go to the office when you have an alternative way to do your job and still get paid.

Theres going to be a fair few parents having to make the decision do they take unpaid leave or send an asymptomatic child to school.

Ponoka7 · 23/03/2022 21:11

@queensonia
"I couldn’t even get universal credit because I still had some savings"

So you've got over £16k in savings? All of the WC self employed people who I know are running at around that figure in debt. They can't dream about having savings, they are just about managing.

@Tilltheend99, the government have had no choice but to go down the treatment route, rather than protection via isolation etc. There are much better treatments. Things have changed a lot. If people aren't getting vaccinated and taking up those treatments, that's on them. When I went for antibody treatment as someone Covid positive and ECV, over ten people were offered it, only three of us took it up.

ScreamingBeans · 23/03/2022 21:13

All those people saying we just need to learn to live with it now, haven't got someone they love they think might die from Covid.

People are incredibly selfish. If you don't need to go into the office, why bother? Fair enough if you have no choice, but if you've got the choice to avoid infecting someone and killing their granny or not doing so, I personally would choose the latter.

Contractorproblems123 · 23/03/2022 21:13

Before the recent changes came in if we were off sick for covid reasons it didn’t go on our record, now it does, so if I wasn’t unwell but had covid and my options were to go into work which I am allowed to do or have upto 10 days off and trigger an absence meeting plus being under ‘watch’ for any other absence within the next 3 months….you can bet I’m not staying home when I’m not ill.

queensonia · 23/03/2022 21:15

[quote Ponoka7]@queensonia
"I couldn’t even get universal credit because I still had some savings"

So you've got over £16k in savings? All of the WC self employed people who I know are running at around that figure in debt. They can't dream about having savings, they are just about managing.

@Tilltheend99, the government have had no choice but to go down the treatment route, rather than protection via isolation etc. There are much better treatments. Things have changed a lot. If people aren't getting vaccinated and taking up those treatments, that's on them. When I went for antibody treatment as someone Covid positive and ECV, over ten people were offered it, only three of us took it up.[/quote]
HAD savings. Lockdown put an end to that 😀

OP posts:
ruMpunchh · 23/03/2022 21:18

The audacity of some people. It has nothing to do with you are you going to pay his wages then?

We need to live with covid fyi this is how you do it.

Yes yabvu

rwalker · 23/03/2022 21:18

@Saracenia

Good on you, OP. I think you've done the right thing. More and more people are getting ill and the hospitals are overwhelmed. We aren't out of this yet.
We have people at work who come in with covid if they are well enough. They keep themselves in a separate office and no shared facilities .

can't see the problem

MadAntonia · 23/03/2022 21:19

@Saracenia

Good on you, OP. I think you've done the right thing. More and more people are getting ill and the hospitals are overwhelmed. We aren't out of this yet.
Agree.
HRTQueen · 23/03/2022 21:22

I won’t be self isolating I shall be going out abs being careful

But I won’t be going into work (nhs work with vulnerable)

TatianaBis · 23/03/2022 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ for repeating a deleted post.

ChloeHel · 23/03/2022 21:24

At that time how do you know he hadn’t tested negative? My MIL tested negative two days after her positive test. You can’t just assume these things.

Also I am sure if he worked alongside a clinically vulnerable person they wouldn’t be allowing him to attend and he wouldn’t want to. Every work place has risk assessments! I have to agree with a lot other PP’s that it isn’t much your business what others do.

MuggleMadness · 23/03/2022 21:24

[quote worriedatthistime]@MuggleMadness how many are ill with covid though ? How many just can't be released as they have covid and cannot go to nursing home etc?
I have no idea but just wondered what is the issue exactly
I agree its busy though as i have attended a & e couple times in last 2 weeks and hospital rammed
They wanted to admit me but had no beds but tbh that isn't unusual for our local hospital at this time of year [/quote]
@worriedatthistime

I don't work there, so I'm not totally sure. I was just agreeing with the posters who said their hospitals are asking people not to go to A&E unless it's life & death. Which another poster said was rubbish!

There's enough active covid that I've been advised not to go to my outpatient appointments.

ReeseWitherfork · 23/03/2022 21:26

but if you've got the choice to avoid infecting someone and killing their granny or not doing so

Killing granny..... that's a BINGO!

Honestly I really get the argument, I've got a 90 year old grandmother. But there are always going to be vulnerable people, there is always going to be covid.

Sofiegiraffe · 23/03/2022 21:29

All those people saying we just need to learn to live with it now, haven't got someone they love they think might die from Covid.

Incorrect. I believe we need to learn to live with it now. And I have an elderly vulnerable relative.

MuggleMadness · 23/03/2022 21:30

@LotusCheesecake

And the reasons hospitals are under pressure at the moment is lack of staff.... because the NHS's decision as an employer is that their employees should stay off for a required number of days (and are paying them for those days). It's not down to hospital covid cases.
That's not helping, but at our hospital it's because there are too many patients!! Too many with covid spreading out to other wards, more wards being 'red'.
Fernandina · 23/03/2022 21:39

I hope his employer tells his colleagues that he's covid positive so at least they can take proper precautions and keep well out of his way if they need to.

There's no way I'd share an office with someone who has covid, and I'd be livid if I wasn't informed.

queensonia · 23/03/2022 21:40

Thank you all for your many and varied opinions . I’m loving the irony of everyone telling me I should mind my own business …. on Mumsnet which is literally a site for sticking your nose into the lives of total strangers 😀

OP posts:
ScreamingBeans · 23/03/2022 21:42

@Sofiegiraffe

All those people saying we just need to learn to live with it now, haven't got someone they love they think might die from Covid.

Incorrect. I believe we need to learn to live with it now. And I have an elderly vulnerable relative.

So will you be going to visit your elderly vulnerable relative when you've got covid, or will you wait until you haven't got it?
Luredbyapomegranate · 23/03/2022 21:43

Well the requirement to self isolate has ended, so his company presumably expect him to go in. You must be aware that guidance has changed?

You can agree with it or not, but unless you are volunteering to pay his salary and/or have a word with his boss, you do need to keep your opinions to yourself.

ScreamingBeans · 23/03/2022 21:44

@ReeseWitherfork

but if you've got the choice to avoid infecting someone and killing their granny or not doing so

Killing granny..... that's a BINGO!

Honestly I really get the argument, I've got a 90 year old grandmother. But there are always going to be vulnerable people, there is always going to be covid.

So will you be visiting her if you get covid on the basis that there will always be covid and vulnerable people, or will you take reasonable precautions and wait till you're clear?
hangrylady · 23/03/2022 21:46

"All those people saying we just need to learn to live with it now, haven't got someone they love they think might die from Covid"

And those saying that people should stay home don't have jobs where they have to go in, in order to stay afloat financially and provide for their families.

ScreamingBeans · 23/03/2022 21:48

@hangrylady

"All those people saying we just need to learn to live with it now, haven't got someone they love they think might die from Covid"

And those saying that people should stay home don't have jobs where they have to go in, in order to stay afloat financially and provide for their families.

Nope. I said if you have a choice.

The man in the OP clearly has a choice.

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 22:00

@ScreamingBeans how do you know he had a choice? Because the OP said so? She also said his employer said he should be at work.

cabbageking · 23/03/2022 22:02

Have it presently ( over the worse) and not been to work or out and about. Have done some online training and meetings but won't go in until I have a negative test as will hubby. I get paid but he won't.

I could go in and no one would know because I feel fine. But I couldn't live with passing it on to someone else.

The garden is however very tidy now.

tigger1001 · 23/03/2022 22:03

@Fernandina

I hope his employer tells his colleagues that he's covid positive so at least they can take proper precautions and keep well out of his way if they need to.

There's no way I'd share an office with someone who has covid, and I'd be livid if I wasn't informed.

The reality is though you just won't know. You maybe already have worked with someone who was covid positive.

Testing is going. People won't know if they have covid or not. So they won't be able to tell others.

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