AIBU to think my son should be allowed access to a toilet at home time.

[wildchild554]

My son has special needs, he's 10 but has been estimated to being at the level of a 6 year old and has many issues including around personal care, memory issues and currently under diagnosis for autism. He's had a third new teacher in the last school year, the last one was there for one month I don't have an issue with this as things happen. The teacher he currently has, has rubbed me up the wrong way a few times before due to his intolerance with my other son who has been diagnosed with autism and the meltdowns he has due to sensory overload and anxisty so this may be having an impact in me trying to decide whether my gut instinct is unreasonable or not.

He's had them for the last 2 weeks and knows about my sons issues. My son goes to the toilet both breaktimes and lunch time and has been going at home time, to me this feels quite normal, its what I did as a kid and most people I know. He never goes during lesson time and will try and hold it in lessons if he needs it as he is scared to ask which has lead to accidents. The teacher came out and said he was not to go to the toilet at home time as he's slow, this is part of his issues he's slow with everything even forgets at times to wipe his bum as he struggles to process information. He said he asks every day at home time and he can't possibly need it every time at home time, as the last break would have been about an hour and half he probably does and what benefit is it to him to go to the toilet at home time other than to relieve himself. So as this new rule been put in place for him he will either be wetting himself on the way home coming out of school flaring up his eczema walking home like that or I will have to try and find a quiet area to pee in the street as there are no other toilet facilities around there. He is incapable of holding it and school know that. On a good day it takes 20-25 minutes to get home, on a bad day if my youngest sons meltdowns are severe can take 45 minutes to an hour. Before anyone suggests in case you haven't read the full post he is currently under peadiatrics to try and resolve his issues or at least find out what we are dealing with and school have all the information to hand as I provide them with copies of the reports. AIBU to think he should be allowed to use the toilet at home time?

If the teacher has to bring all the children out to the playground together, and the issue is that your son is in the toilet (thus slightly delaying them all going out), then surely one solution could be for the teacher to remind him to go 5 minutes before?
Absolutely YANBU, your son should be allowed to use the toilet.

Go straight to the SENCO and headteacher. Not acceptable to deny anyone the right to use the bathroom.

@ZippeeDeeDoohDah that's not the case though as all the children and teacher are in the playground waiting for the kids to be picked up, I know this because I'm stood there waiting for him to come down and yes I agree the obvious solution would be to get him to go earlier to the toilet if it is such a problem.

Im glad to see the Senco is sorting it out for you. Im a school governor, and no child (whether they have any SEN issues or not) is ever prevented from going to the bathroom at our school before they leave - its disgraceful behaviour and I'd fully uphold any parent complaint about it happening

My own Yr 1 child sometimes wets in the day if they dont go before they leave, and never has the teacher said anything negative about it!

If things don't improve make a formal complaint to the Head and then to the Governing body.

This is terrible. No special needs here but we have a 30-40 min walk home with no public loos en route. My children therefore often use the school toilet at home-time so as to avoid being caught short on the walk home. There's no afternoon break in KS2 and lunchtime finishes at 1pm. They have therefore had 2.5hrs without going to the loo as school discourages it during lesson time (and rightly so).

I'd ask to speak to the headteacher and ask if they'd rather provide your son with access to the toilet before you head home or would they rather he relieved himself by having a wild wee in the school grounds.

Can they not set it as a step to go to the toilet right before home time ? Teacher shouldn't be dissmising it as it can't be everyday either because it may just be routine for him to make sure he remebers to go if he needs to

@Imperfectp3rf3ction it is a routine for him but one that was put in place for him by the teachers and pastoral because he will wet himself, have also found out today his class don't even have afternoon break so what the teacher was expecting was for him to hold his blader from 1pm which there is no chance of him doing but its sorted now although I'm hoping other kids aren't going through this issue as well as I don't know any kids that could potentially go 3 hours or more without a pee till they get home.