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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing bath water

158 replies

TheseDaysGoBy · 21/03/2022 18:26

When I was a child and growing up (1990s) to save money my mum would bathe first, then my brother or I would use the water to bathe when she finished whilst it was still warm. We didn't have a shower. I know this is something families used to do years ago when people hadn't much money and there was no central heating so it took more to fill a bath with hot water. This was normal to me.

I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are on shared bath water these days, especially for those on low income, and if any of you still do it or have done to save money, especially with the current energy situation? My partner enjoys his baths and I prefer showers but with the current situation, I would like to keep an eye on our energy and water usage and don't see anything wrong with using his water after he's bathed but he would probably think the idea is gross so I haven't. He's clean and doesn't have a job which makes him dirty.

YANBU - it's fine to share bath water with my kids/partner, as long as it's still warm and not filthy
YABU - no, I wouldn't share bath water with my kids/partner

OP posts:
Stokey · 21/03/2022 21:17

This was so common when I was growing up (80s-90s). I'd often go and stay with friends in the country who lived in these amazing huge houses that had rubbish heating and no hot water. That only been enough for one bath so as a guest, I'd get to go in first, then my friend would go in after. I often thought at least my parents semi had got water. I wouldn't think twice about using a bath that kids or DH had been in.

CurlsandCurves · 21/03/2022 21:17

I love a bath and so does DS2. I go first and he will quite often jump in after. With all the energy price rises it kind of justifies running the bath if 2 of us are using it, ha ha.

Glassesmare · 21/03/2022 21:20

DD and I sometimes share a bath and then my 2 DSs will get in afterwards. None of us are filthy before we get in the bath anyway. I can't imagine filling up 4 baths every night, such a waste of time, money and energy!

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 22:12

@LizBennet

They've literally admitted it on the Internet....

Yeah that encompasses all on Mumsnet then...

@LizBennet maybe you have trouble reading? No where did I say that means ALL on mumsnet do not wash their legs/don't shower everyday.

Note I said 'apparently most people don't even wash their legs when they bathe or shower daily so nothing surprises me anymore.' Keyword is MOST. Not ALL

BourbonVanilla · 21/03/2022 22:18

Ew, no thank you.
I prefer shower anyway.

userxx · 21/03/2022 22:25

[quote babywalker56]@userxx sorry I can't even have these sort of discussions with people because it's like talking to a brick wall. If you don't shower or even have a sink wash everyday then that's up to you. It's really odd that people think they have to be visibly dirty to bathe themselves [/quote]

Eh ? That's what I'm asking you, if you have a bath every single day, how can you be so disgustingly dirty that someone couldn't possibly share the water for fear of being contaminated with filth ?

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 22:39

@userxx whether someone is 'disgustingly dirty' or not. How can you use someone's bath water that they've used to clean themselves, to then clean you? Like seriously where's the logic in that?

Okay they may not have mud all over them and be visibly dirty but even if you do bathe everyday. You're still cleaning sweat and general debris off of your body. How can I have a bath to clean my body including pits and bits and also wash my flannel with that water and then DP does the same thing and expects that unclean water to clean him?

userxx · 21/03/2022 22:47

Got to be honest, don't usually have "general debris" on my body, not a sweaty person either, in fact I get in the bath smelling pretty fresh. I'd hardly call it disgusting.

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 23:01

@userxx you could be the non sweatiest, fresh smelling person in the world. How do you go in the bath, scrub your body, wash your vagina, bum and armpits and then have someone else use that same water to clean themselves?

How can one clean themselves with non clean water? Or you don't think there's any issue with the water because you don't have visible dirt on yourself that can be seen by the naked eye?

Thewindwhispers · 21/03/2022 23:02

I know it was common, and still is in poor countries, but the shared bathwater can spread infections like UTIs (and indeed some STDs, from adult to child). My friend kept bathing her kids together and one kid was always giving UTIs to the other. Now she does them separately and only one child ever gets UTIs.

I know how much bodily fluid I wash away and I wouldn’t ask my kids to sit in a pool of it! If it’s too expensive to have lots of baths, then just have them rarely, and do a flannel wash at the sink the rest of the time, like old people.

OneTC · 21/03/2022 23:02

Yeah dp goes first every day then I get in Smile

OneTC · 21/03/2022 23:05

Or you don't think there's any issue with the water because you don't have visible dirt on yourself that can be seen by the naked eye?

Yeah you're washing with it not drinking it.

You're in for a terrible shock if you've got a back supply or any sort of storage tank in your plumbing system

DrWankincense · 21/03/2022 23:08

Water sharer here.
It's not a problem 🤷‍♀️

ManateeFair · 21/03/2022 23:12

DP always showers instead of having a bath and we don’t have kids, but if I did I’d be perfectly happy to use their bath water if it was topped up to make it hotter. I would happily use DP’s bath water as well, if he was a bather rather than a showerer. Getting in after me wouldn’t work, though; as well as using shower gel I also shampoo and condition my hair, usually shave my legs and sometimes use shaving cream, and quite often use a cleansing balm on my face as well, so there’s a lot of stuff in my bath water when I’ve finished.

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 23:16

@OneTC

Or you don't think there's any issue with the water because you don't have visible dirt on yourself that can be seen by the naked eye?

Yeah you're washing with it not drinking it.

You're in for a terrible shock if you've got a back supply or any sort of storage tank in your plumbing system

So you don't think using clean water to clean yourself makes it unclean? This is why I can't talk about hygiene to people on here😂 common sense just goes out of the window. If you want to share dirty water with family members then just say that
PiesNotGuys · 21/03/2022 23:28

We have a shower over the bath in the main bathroom. I have a shower but put the plug in so the water collects and the DC splash around the other end, been doing that since they were tiny in a bath seat. I then get out and dry and get them out and dry, often giving them a last shower down.

Works fine although only one dc is small enough to still let me these days.

Kanaloa · 22/03/2022 02:04

I think I’d rather give up other luxuries if it was a financial issue. I don’t want to bathe in DH’s old water or have my kids bathing in my old water.

Momijin · 22/03/2022 02:18

I shared a bath with my kids every day whilst they were little and now it depends on who's around wanting a bath. My partner always has a bath after me.

Only after me because I like my baths scalding hot and only have a quick bath so works out better that way. It makes environmental sense and time sense.

Kanaloa · 22/03/2022 02:26

@hellywelly3

Not gross at all. My DH likes his bath red hot, so sometimes I’d jump in after. It’s not just about saving money it’s being environmentally conscious too. No more gross than going in a public swimming bath
I mean public pools are treated with chlorine and most people shower before and after using them. So not really comparable with a bath you wash in followed by your husband and teenager washing in it too.
stormswiftlysweetafton · 22/03/2022 04:19

It's not for me, unless I had no other choice. I'd rather do a strip wash than share, if I needed to reduce water usage. I prefer showers to baths, though, so I'd run the shower just long enough to lather up and rinse off.

LoveFall · 22/03/2022 04:35

The answer to this is showering. Uses far less water and energy. About 4 minutes does me fine and no sharing water.

Pancakeorcrepe · 22/03/2022 06:11

I would rather strip wash than do this.
How can people scrub their bodies, pits, arses and vulva/willy in the water, sebumy scalps, and then think the water is clean enough for someone to go and do it again? To people saying we share bodily fluids with our partners, yes we do, but that is during sex and we shower afterwards. It’s not during an activity that is meant to make you CLEAN! Same for swimming in pools. I shower, swim and shower again. Because I don’t swim to wash myself. I’ve never been a fan of baths anyway because even for one person I don’t think they are as hygienic as a shower.

Beautyskindeep · 22/03/2022 06:17

I shared baths as a child and I
Don’t think it’s an issue until they reach 8/9
And they want their own space anyway

whowhatwhen · 22/03/2022 06:17

My husband and I do it almost every time we have a bath if we're having one at the same time unless one of us is particularly sweaty/dirty.

DrSbaitso · 22/03/2022 09:07

[quote Susu49]@babywalker56 how do you know people don't wash their legs? Hmm weird[/quote]
There was a thread about it a while ago and apparently a lot of people don't; they reckon legs get clean from the water and soap running down them and don't get dirty anyway.

I was surprised, but maybe I shouldn't have been. Before that, there was a thread about hand washing after the toilet...and it seems a lot of people don't do it if it was "just" a wee and they were at home.