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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing bath water

158 replies

TheseDaysGoBy · 21/03/2022 18:26

When I was a child and growing up (1990s) to save money my mum would bathe first, then my brother or I would use the water to bathe when she finished whilst it was still warm. We didn't have a shower. I know this is something families used to do years ago when people hadn't much money and there was no central heating so it took more to fill a bath with hot water. This was normal to me.

I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are on shared bath water these days, especially for those on low income, and if any of you still do it or have done to save money, especially with the current energy situation? My partner enjoys his baths and I prefer showers but with the current situation, I would like to keep an eye on our energy and water usage and don't see anything wrong with using his water after he's bathed but he would probably think the idea is gross so I haven't. He's clean and doesn't have a job which makes him dirty.

YANBU - it's fine to share bath water with my kids/partner, as long as it's still warm and not filthy
YABU - no, I wouldn't share bath water with my kids/partner

OP posts:
Workyticket · 21/03/2022 18:44

Wouldn't work for us - I like my bath water piping hot but I have longish hair which nobody should have to sit in when I'm done Blush

My pals for this. Wife goes first, then 10 year old ds then her husband. Every night

I always think it must be manky and stone cold by the time he gets in!

JPduck · 21/03/2022 18:44

YANBU
I share with my daughter and if my mum (or Auntie) visits we share water, may need a small hot water top up.

nzborn · 21/03/2022 18:44

we do

AHungryCaterpillar · 21/03/2022 18:46

I wouldn’t mind sharing it with kids that much (though still wouldn’t do it personally) but sharing with another adult 🤢 surprised so many do! Didn’t realise it was so common. Good job I’m single I wouldn’t even let someone use my bath water never mind get in theirs.

tigger1001 · 21/03/2022 18:46

@Meandthesky

Would it be more energy/water efficient for everyone to have showers? Except maybe in very big families
I'm not so sure that's true. A shower will use more water than you think. Especially if anyone in the house takes more than a few minutes.

We have an energy monitor in the house and it's right round on red when having a shower. 3 to 4 people having daily showers will eat through both water and energy.

CMOTDibbler · 21/03/2022 18:47

DS and I both like a long, hot, deep bath with a book and letting some water out occasionally to allow room to top up (immersion on for this so very hot water). So I leave my water in for him so he can take over with book and bath snacks. No point wasting water and its not like we have been down the pit or anything

AlwaysLatte · 21/03/2022 18:49

Very rarely I'll want a bath after my husband has had one, or vice versa, so we might use it but always shower after a bath anyway. The children used to go in together when they were little but they would definitely not want to share bath water now!

Donra · 21/03/2022 18:50

We bathed together back in the day because electric showers were very rare and expensive. They had been invented by this point (80s) but very few people had one. I still remember the excitement of staying with my Aunty at Christmas and using her electric shower! But there’s no need to share baths nowadays because everyone has a shower and can just shower individually and use less water than a bath. A bath is a luxury nowadays, not a practical way of getting washed.

Benjaminsniddlegrass · 21/03/2022 18:51

We always did it back in the day when I was growing up to no ill effect. Me & DH often do it, I always go first as I like a really hot bath and he prefers it much cooler. I tend to shower after exercise so bath is more like a relaxing thing as much as a clean so I'm never filthy when I get in.

RewildingAmbridge · 21/03/2022 18:52

I'll share a bath with DS but that's it. I prefer a shower anyway. We're have a mains shower rather than electric so it doesn't make the smart meter turn red

GetOffTheTableMabel · 21/03/2022 18:56

I will share with DD16 or DH, but we all bath or shower at least once every day and are really not that minging.

nokidshere · 21/03/2022 18:58

I don't share my bath water with anyone although the children usually got in with one of us when they were little.

I am one of 6 girls and as children we had baths once a week on a Sunday night. 3 smallest in together first, a kettle of hot water to top up and the 3 oldest in together after that.

We are such a wasteful society now in comparison to back then (early 60s) but I still wouldn't want to share my bath water unless I had been in first 😁

Riverlee · 21/03/2022 18:58

My dh will sometimes have a quick dip in my bath water, or vice vesa. Regularly shared baths a# a child.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/03/2022 18:59

I will occasionally jump in after my son as long as he's not filthy (he's 11). I only really do that when I don't need to wash my hair and just need a quick wash down. I think it's fine and saves water waste.

Shostaklovhich · 21/03/2022 18:59

Have shared bath water with my DC’s when they were small, I went first. Also had an xbf who went in regularly straight after me. Now the DC’s and I only have quick showers each. I suspect sharing bath water will become very normal going forward.

Chely · 21/03/2022 19:00

No thank you.
I have had 4 kids in 1 bath at once but rinse them and the shampoo out their hair with shower as the bath is draining. Now it's showers all round, only the baby will have a soak.

WestendVBroadway · 21/03/2022 19:01

I quite often share the bath water with DH. He usually goes first as he likes the water at practically boiling point that's good as it has been sterilised for when I get in😜. Occasionally our teen DD will also use the water, I was mortified once when her DP was staying over and I didn't want him to know. He was fine with it as apparently he does it at his home after his DM had had a quick dip.

BreakerOfBras · 21/03/2022 19:01

Partner and I do this. Our bath is large and water pressure shit, so would take ages to fill all over again. It's not killed either of us yet!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/03/2022 19:02

@ShowOfHands

People on MN get very het up about it. Human soup, other people's fluids, filth etc.

Irl, I think people still do it. They use soap and aren't utterly bogging in the first place.

My sister and I shared bath water when I was a kid - right up to when I left home at 18 - and I hated it. She was younger, so she went first, and got the water when it was hot and clean, and by the time I got in, it was cool and scummy. Then I had to clean the bath when I got out, and tidy the bathroom.

We only got baths twice a week, and when we were both teenagers, I asked my mum if we could take turns going first - so I got to have the clean water, and dsis had a turn at having to do the cleaning and tidying - and mum refused point blank - partly because my sister was her favourite, and partly because she and dad shared bath water too, and if she accepted it wasn’t fair that I never went first, she’d have had to accept that it wasn’t fair that she always went first.

The water wasn’t ‘…absolutely bogging…’, but it wasn’t clean, and it was not a pleasant experience.

Btw, my comment isn’t directed particularly at you, @ShowOfHands - your post simply demonstrated the opposite viewpoint well.

narcdad · 21/03/2022 19:02

Sometimes I do, I'll go in after my 6yo then top up with hot water, my 9yo dd thinks this is gross so she definitely wouldn't share.

My husband comes home covered in dust and sweat so absolutely no way I'd share unless I went first

MrsGHarrison87 · 21/03/2022 19:03

I don't do it, not because I'm worried about catching a disease off my kids and husband but just because I like a really hot fresh bath. Very rarely I might get in my husband's morning bath water if I'm running late and I just need a quick bath.

tothemoonandbackbuses · 21/03/2022 19:04

I go first with the children. I’d rather have the bath to myself but that doesn’t seem to be an option. Then dh has it last. Not always but if the bath water is there and he needs a bath he’ll use the same water.
I almost always end up sharing with at least one child.

Papayamya · 21/03/2022 19:07

We used to share a bath and then my parents would jump in afterwards- we then upgraded one of those shower things that attaches to the taps (if you know you know!). I'd do it if I had to but don't think it's aspirational to revert to stuff like that.

Rosebel · 21/03/2022 19:12

My DDs shared a bath when they were younger but all apart from my DS have showers now.
If I had to share I'd go in before my son (who tends to poo in the bath regularly) and my husband (who gets filthy at work) but in reality I'm so glad we all use separate water.

britneyisfree · 21/03/2022 19:13

We never did this in our family. Once we were staying somewhere and a woman told me to get in the bath after her and that my brother should go in afterwards.

We were horrified. We didn't say no we just decided to go to bed dirty rather than her in. We'd been running around in the sun all day, we really needed a wash!!

I have a child now and I'd probably get in her water after her if I really needed too but I'd never let her her in mine I've got waaaaaaay more body fluids etc than her, why would I expect her to play in my left over. I can't get my head around this. Maybe cultural differences. I didn't know it was such a common thing.