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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sharing bath water

158 replies

TheseDaysGoBy · 21/03/2022 18:26

When I was a child and growing up (1990s) to save money my mum would bathe first, then my brother or I would use the water to bathe when she finished whilst it was still warm. We didn't have a shower. I know this is something families used to do years ago when people hadn't much money and there was no central heating so it took more to fill a bath with hot water. This was normal to me.

I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are on shared bath water these days, especially for those on low income, and if any of you still do it or have done to save money, especially with the current energy situation? My partner enjoys his baths and I prefer showers but with the current situation, I would like to keep an eye on our energy and water usage and don't see anything wrong with using his water after he's bathed but he would probably think the idea is gross so I haven't. He's clean and doesn't have a job which makes him dirty.

YANBU - it's fine to share bath water with my kids/partner, as long as it's still warm and not filthy
YABU - no, I wouldn't share bath water with my kids/partner

OP posts:

birdglasspen2 · 21/03/2022 20:28

We quite often have a bath which we all use, 3 children under 5 and 2 parent's, it's a big bath and usually it will be me and baby first followed by boys and dad. Doesn't bother us although there are times I won't use it after them as it looks rather uninviting! Is it rank....probably; at least two of them are known to pee in it! It is fun and warm and easier than trying to grab a shower with little kids about!

SixteenTwelve · 21/03/2022 20:30

We did it as small children but it stopped when we started puberty and were generally a bit sweatier, periods etc.

GooglyEyeballs · 21/03/2022 20:30

As kids we used to share bath water. Once I got older around 7ish I used to find it gross. Nowadays, although I appreciate it's a norm for many and essential for many, I would find it gross and would never get in bath water that someone else has used I would rather wash myself with a basin of water, some soap and a flannel than use someone else's bath water.

Baconandmaplesyrup · 21/03/2022 20:36

@Fandangofran

Hmmm. When I was little we only had one bath a week on a Sunday night and we all shared and that seemed perfectly normal - I have no idea when that suddenly changed to be seen as unacceptable.

Now I have kids of my own I bath them a lot more often and that seems normal - I'd never really realised that things had change until I just thought of it.

My younger two do share a bath because they're twins and I don't have the time, money or energy to do two speerate baths each time. My eldest however would be totally horrified by the though of sharing bath water.

You don’t seem that old if you’ve young kids? I’m in my fifties and I bathed more than that as a child. Surely you were washed in between time? We had a bath every night growing up. In my experience washing or bathing daily was normal.

SecretSunflower · 21/03/2022 20:37

It would be a cold day in hell before I ever got into someone's dirty bath water.
Never have, never will.

WeirdlyKind · 21/03/2022 20:40

I'm not overly cleanly but there's no way I'd share bath water with anyone. I don't think secondhand water with soap scum, body oils and such can get you clean.

notyourmummy · 21/03/2022 20:42

About 3 nights a week I run a blisteringly hot bath for myself then cool it down for 4yo to get in with me, then 10yo gets in after us. If I don't go in I run a bath for 4yo and then 10yo goes in after her (although not every night, apparently being clean and hygienic isn't cool...) I see no problems with it personally, we're not filthy and it saves money and water (we're on a water meter)

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/03/2022 20:43

Not everyone can afford to have a shower fitted.

But 'bum juice' made me snort tea out of my nose.

userxx · 21/03/2022 20:44

My mum always used to use my bath water, no problem whatsoever. Don't see the issue.

nearlyspringyay · 21/03/2022 20:45

Urgh. I hate baths anyway so probably not your target audience but if I didn't have a shower I'd rather one of those old school things you could stick over the taps.I don't want to sit in someone else's poo flakes.

Mrsmch123 · 21/03/2022 20:48

It's a hard no from me. I would rather spend the money on clean water. Not that my husband or baby are particularly dirty it's just not for me....

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 20:48

So disgusting😭

I think it's funny that people say 'X doesn't have a job that makes him/her dirty so it's fine,' as if you're only dirty if you can physically see dirt on someone.

I'm not even surprised by the comments on this thread, apparently most people don't even wash their legs when they bathe or shower daily so nothing surprises me anymore

Porkbuttsandtaters · 21/03/2022 20:49

Yep me first coz I like it scalding. Then the kids then poor DH 😂

Woeismethischristmas · 21/03/2022 20:51

My kids do. Eldest likes a deep hot bath and by the time he’s had a soak it’s cooled enough for youngest. Middle child has a shower. They bathe every day so not filthy.

Sandsnake · 21/03/2022 21:00

I use the kids’ bath water (topped up with hot) most nights. I feel like it’s the only way I can justify my bath loving habits! Helps that I know that DS is meticulous about getting out to pee…

DH and I will share water too, though I prefer to have it first as he is dirtier and smellier than me.

Susu49 · 21/03/2022 21:03

@babywalker56 how do you know people don't wash their legs? weird

userxx · 21/03/2022 21:06

@babywalker56

So disgusting😭

I think it's funny that people say 'X doesn't have a job that makes him/her dirty so it's fine,' as if you're only dirty if you can physically see dirt on someone.

I'm not even surprised by the comments on this thread, apparently most people don't even wash their legs when they bathe or shower daily so nothing surprises me anymore

I'm intrigued to know how a person becomes so disgustingly dirty in less than 24 hours ?

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 21:07

@Susu49 because it's been spoken about on MN and Twitter many many times. The amount of people that have said they don't wash their legs because their legs aren't dirty or they just let the water 'run down their legs' instead. It's disgusting. So that's how I know people don't wash their legs. They've literally admitted it on the Internet....

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 21:09

@userxx sorry I can't even have these sort of discussions with people because it's like talking to a brick wall. If you don't shower or even have a sink wash everyday then that's up to you. It's really odd that people think they have to be visibly dirty to bathe themselves

LizBennet · 21/03/2022 21:09

They've literally admitted it on the Internet....

Yeah that encompasses all on Mumsnet then...

CheesePlantMurderer · 21/03/2022 21:11

So I have read a few replies and thought what the fuck.
I have a bath and if my son is in the house - because he's not often - I will say do you want it after me... and often he says yes because 1 he likes it cooler and 2 he hates bubbles.
Whatever he gets up to after me, and I get up to nothing can I just add, it's up to him !!

Summerfun54321 · 21/03/2022 21:14

Yes to sharing bath water but children first and stinky adults afterwards.

RobotValkyrie · 21/03/2022 21:15

A bit puzzled at how some people are icky about sharing bath water with their long term sexual partners... Presumably you routinely share various bodily fluids through various orifices, but water that has touched the exact same body is a big no-no?
... How do you even survive at the swimming pool or, god forbid, the beach?

Savingpeoplehuntingthings · 21/03/2022 21:16

I have a bath every night, I hate showers.
I can't justify running my large deep bath for just me so it always does for 2 or 3 of us. Usually me first then either ds or dd, sometimes both, one after the other. Or me then dh.

HRTQueen · 21/03/2022 21:17

I used to with ds but he always showers now

I always shower myself down quickly after anyway (or use a cup to wash off soapy water)

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