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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing bath water

158 replies

TheseDaysGoBy · 21/03/2022 18:26

When I was a child and growing up (1990s) to save money my mum would bathe first, then my brother or I would use the water to bathe when she finished whilst it was still warm. We didn't have a shower. I know this is something families used to do years ago when people hadn't much money and there was no central heating so it took more to fill a bath with hot water. This was normal to me.

I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are on shared bath water these days, especially for those on low income, and if any of you still do it or have done to save money, especially with the current energy situation? My partner enjoys his baths and I prefer showers but with the current situation, I would like to keep an eye on our energy and water usage and don't see anything wrong with using his water after he's bathed but he would probably think the idea is gross so I haven't. He's clean and doesn't have a job which makes him dirty.

YANBU - it's fine to share bath water with my kids/partner, as long as it's still warm and not filthy
YABU - no, I wouldn't share bath water with my kids/partner

OP posts:
RagzRebooted · 21/03/2022 19:53

We do it. Either 2 of the DCs or one of them and either DH or I. Usually let a bit out and top it up with hot, unless I go after DS1 who seems to make his baths extra hot!
We've always done it, I grew up without running water and baths were a very rare luxury at someone else's house. The idea of letting perfectly good baths go to waste upsets me! Also seems a waste of money.

Oh, the horror...

Deadringer · 21/03/2022 19:53

I would rather not wash than wash in someone else's water.

EatYourVegetables · 21/03/2022 19:53

It might be saving water and energy when compared to the alternative of several single baths, but it’s absolutely bonkers compared to taking quick showers.

And the prize goes to the poster who shares bathwater daily with her partner to save water, but then also has a shower every day. In what sense does that save anything??

Blossomtoes · 21/03/2022 19:55

@DontWiltMySpinachPlease

DH and I do it. Have done for years. Never been an issue.
We do too. Mainly because until we replace the boiler the hot water pressure is non existent and it takes about half an hour to run the bath.
carefullycourageous · 21/03/2022 19:56

I would be happy to go in after anyone with whom I would be happy to share a bath. So I would be happy to share a bath with my DH, why not after?

Entirely theoretical because we only have a shower, but I have no major objections so long as the person before me has not been down the pit.

Curlygirl06 · 21/03/2022 19:58

Sometimes when my grown up daughters are here and I'm in the bath they'll ask to hop in after me. I have it at the temperature to melt stone, so by the time it's cooled down and get out, it's just the right temperature for them. They've been doing it for years.

CustardGoodJamGoodMeatGood · 21/03/2022 19:58

My DP gets in the bath after me but I like to think I'm a clean human anyway, my bath is just full of shampoo and conditioner. I wouldn't get in after him though, he always has sock fluff floating about and he has to use a special shampoo on his skin that stinks

Marylou62 · 21/03/2022 19:58

Hahahaha! I was only talking to my Youngest DB about this last week.. He never shares a bath.. We are 5 siblings and he's the youngest.. we took it in turns to have the weekly Sunday bath.. Mum first...He says he remembers the cold scum he was made to get into.. I never saw it as I was the 2nd oldest.. Ruined him for life apparently..(as well as the falling apart bikes, clothes, shoes and tennis racket!! I so remember that one!)
I was the only girl so only had 2nd hand clothes (from a cousin) not 4th hand.
We were a poor family in money terms but had a great 60/70s childhood.

Calandor · 21/03/2022 20:01

I mean it saves more water for both just to have a quick shower and not a bath, but if he refuses to do that I don't see the issue. I might quickly rinse with the shower after though.

winterchills · 21/03/2022 20:04

It's a weird one as growing up I used to always share my mums bath water. Now my kids share a bath but I wouldn't put them in my water after my bath and I wouldn't like to share bath water with anyone else. Can't even explain why I wouldn't want to either!

Mangogogogo · 21/03/2022 20:06

I don’t think anyone is gross for doing it and I happily get in the bath with my partner.. but for some reason I don’t think I would be able to get in after him! Confused
My kids share though, 10 and 7. They like to play with the water toys and it’s the only time the 10 year old will even consider playing with toys so I’m happy to go with it for now!

Weekendtobegin · 21/03/2022 20:07

We do it.

We have showers anyway so a bath is usually just for a nice soak.

Complete waste of energy and water to run several baths

Spotthedog91 · 21/03/2022 20:07

I asked my husband if he'd share my bath water and he said "no that's rank". I replied "would you bath with me then?" and he sat up and said "oooo yeah" lol. No difference at all in my opinion! Grin

ghostyslovesheets · 21/03/2022 20:10

1970's kid here - our bath (every 2 days) was shared between mum, my sister and me!

DD3 gets in after me every night - her older sisters use enough bloody water between them!

pigsDOfly · 21/03/2022 20:10

Bit puzzled by the poster who will share the bath water with her partner but has a quick shower beforehand if she's been to the gym.

I hate having a bath, haven't had one for decades.

I find it uncomfortable to sit in water and have never understood how some people find it pleasurable to sit in a bath of cooling water while they read or whatever they do. And hell would freeze over before I'd sit in someone else's dirty bath water.

Also you have to stand up to wash yourself properly so while your feet are warm the rest of you is out of the water getting cold.

Standing under the warm running water of a shower is wonderfully refreshing and relaxing and uses less water than a bath.

When you turn off the shower the water is still the same temperature as it's been throughout the whole shower and the water that's been coming out of the shower head is still as clean as when you started your shower.

Still, each to their own.

saddowizca · 21/03/2022 20:12

DH and I do it - I like it, I do go first though 😆

Blossomtoes · 21/03/2022 20:13

I find when I get out of the bath I stay warm @pigsDOfly. Whereas I’m cold the second I step out of the shower. I mastered the art of washing sitting down in the bath decades ago.

Akrotiri1 · 21/03/2022 20:15

I share a bath with my partner most nights, we put in a bath with a middle tap specifically for this purpose.

My son used to say it was 'gross' but now shares a bath with his girlfriend too!

So instead of having to heat water for 4 separate baths, we now only have to heat for 2.......we have also cut baths down to every other night.

Orchidsonthetable · 21/03/2022 20:18

I think if you need to watch your water bills and energy then it’s a prudent idea, but I’d rather not. Unless someone’s showered just before hand they are not throughly clean. They are in there washing their arse crack and pits and then you get in after, with the dead skin cells, and everything else they’ve washed off in the water,

Honestly don’t like the idea of it.

immigrant002 · 21/03/2022 20:18

Confusedi am sorry i find that disgusting ! Just have a shower if you don't want to waste water

Googlecanthelpme · 21/03/2022 20:20

I wouldn’t get in the bath after my kids (filthy toddlers caked in dirt most of the time and think it’s hilarious to wee in the bath)
And I don’t get in after my partner bc he seems to moult! There’s so much bloody fluff!

But they do sometimes get in after me because I tend to have a shower morning and night and I’m generally clean! Also I have it really hot, so it’s generally still nice and warm and bubbly!

LizBennet · 21/03/2022 20:20

@Orchidsonthetable

I think if you need to watch your water bills and energy then it’s a prudent idea, but I’d rather not. Unless someone’s showered just before hand they are not throughly clean. They are in there washing their arse crack and pits and then you get in after, with the dead skin cells, and everything else they’ve washed off in the water,

Honestly don’t like the idea of it.

Meh 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can't go in swimming pools because there are dozens of strangers in it, much rather a shared bath with someone I know is clean and washes daily.
Fandangofran · 21/03/2022 20:22

Hmmm. When I was little we only had one bath a week on a Sunday night and we all shared and that seemed perfectly normal - I have no idea when that suddenly changed to be seen as unacceptable.

Now I have kids of my own I bath them a lot more often and that seems normal - I'd never really realised that things had change until I just thought of it.

My younger two do share a bath because they're twins and I don't have the time, money or energy to do two speerate baths each time. My eldest however would be totally horrified by the though of sharing bath water.

Horst · 21/03/2022 20:27

I’d rather a flannel wash or no was at all then using someone else’s bath water.

My youngest two sometimes share a bath but that’s if they ask too. We have a mains shower so don’t need to worry about the eclectic bill.

I don’t like baths to start with and need my shower hot enough to summon Satan himself so a boring chilling fast bath is a no before you add someone else dirt to it.

Zoom101 · 21/03/2022 20:27

@Papayamya

We used to share a bath and then my parents would jump in afterwards- we then upgraded one of those shower things that attaches to the taps (if you know you know!). I'd do it if I had to but don't think it's aspirational to revert to stuff like that.
Oh my God! Those rubber attachment hose thingies!

If one of the attachments came off the tap, and let’s face it, it happened very easily, you’d either be scaled or frozen 😂😂😂. It was always a risky business using those; happy times!