To think paediatric ward should be better equipped for bed sharing?

[Franklepopper]

I’m in hospital with my poorly 1 year old. The care we’re getting is great but the parent bed is a narrow fold down affair with a gap between it and the wall.
AIBU to think that poorly children are likely to want to bedshare with their grownups and that the beds could have been thought about a bit more to make this possible?
I might be delusional but I have had 30min a sleep so far all night…

Pediatric wards are relying on an adult being there 24/7 that adult has basic needs that should be met. One night in a chair is manageable 2 or more becomes torture.

You still don't get it. A child in hospital needs an adult being there 24/7 unless there are special circumstances. A child cannot give consent to emergency procedures. A child can't take care of themselves. A child can't go to the toilet without an adult being there if they are hooked to a drip line. A child cannot keep pressing the button assistance for help. A child can open their bowels in bed because of medication and won't know what to do if an adult is not there. A child often won't take medication if mom or dad don't encourage. I could go on and on..

FFS, this is not about about adults having their needs met. It's about children in hospital and their parental care they still need. Why is so difficult to understand that sick children in hospital need parents/familiar people more than ever?

It's not a premier inn - hospitals aren't really conducive with sleep anyway it's more to do with treatment

@Sirzy

I am intrigued how a parent poses more of an infection risk lying next to their child than doing all the other things they do?

Probably none. But try to prove that if a child dies because a viral or bacteriological infection that was no present when they were admitted.

There is NO WAY medical insurance companies will admit this risk.

I would say I think I was simply more confident in calmly articulating DD2's need to bedshare because she was DD2.

The consultant wanted a lumbar puncture to rule out meningitis but I refused consent for that as I KNEW the rash that concerned her was a pre-existing one unrelated to her current illness.

What I was blown away by was watching her pulse rate calm and her O2 level increase when she breastfed and I sang her song to her. The effect was astonishing.

We were in hospital for 72 hours and she needed supplemental oxygen for the first 48 hours. It was bronchiolitis that had caused the drop in O2.

Just as an interesting note te being grateful you can stay.

I remember my dad telling me about when he was very young in hospital and his mum could visit one Sunday a month. He was very little. 😭

@Alondra - why are you arguing with me?

I'm totally confused by your post at 13.55

@stargirl1701

I would say I think I was simply more confident in calmly articulating DD2's need to bedshare because she was DD2.

The consultant wanted a lumbar puncture to rule out meningitis but I refused consent for that as I KNEW the rash that concerned her was a pre-existing one unrelated to her current illness.

What I was blown away by was watching her pulse rate calm and her O2 level increase when she breastfed and I sang her song to her. The effect was astonishing.

We were in hospital for 72 hours and she needed supplemental oxygen for the first 48 hours. It was bronchiolitis that had caused the drop in O2.

I'm not surprised and as a mother, I would have refused the lumber puncture as well. There is no need to this awful procedure to rule out meningitis.

Usually, at least in my experience, infants and breasfeeding babies are given individual rooms in public hospitals as the little tykes are still unvaccinated and at risk in shared rooms. They have their cots if they need to stay overnight but being close to mum is essential.

"I think many people confuse medical care with parental care in hospitals. It can be awfully tough but having sick children is tough whether they are in hospital or at home. What we can't think is that doctors and nurses have the responsibility to provide parental care in hospital. They don't."

The difference between home and hospital is that our home is set up to meet our severely autistic teenagers needs whereas a hospital isn't. Which means that we will be working 10 times harder to prevent unsafe situations ( like other people getting hurt) than we would be at home.

[quote Dinoteeth]@Alondra - why are you arguing with me?

I'm totally confused by your post at 13.55[/quote]
Because your post was still arguing the case of parental needs when children are in hospital, instead of looking at it from a scared child point of view, let alone hospital staff.

The child and ward need parents - parents need sleep.

Fat lot of use I was when I eventually fainted due to lack of sleep. Eyes open couldn't see a bloody thing. That then took the nurse away from DS to sort me.

@Underhisi

"I think many people confuse medical care with parental care in hospitals. It can be awfully tough but having sick children is tough whether they are in hospital or at home. What we can't think is that doctors and nurses have the responsibility to provide parental care in hospital. They don't."

The difference between home and hospital is that our home is set up to meet our severely autistic teenagers needs whereas a hospital isn't. Which means that we will be working 10 times harder to prevent unsafe situations ( like other people getting hurt) than we would be at home.

There are serious problems and deficiencies in our health systems in addressing severely intellectual/autistic patients. I 100% agree you prefer caring for your kids at home than in hospital. Public hospitals are not equiped to give a minimum of well being care for your kids, aside from medical and even that with your intervention.

Hospitals keep trying to address autism and intellectual disabilities but unless HUGE more government funding is given, nothing will happen.

I really feel for you and fully understand why hospitals are the last option for your family. It's hearbreaking.

Parents being well rested helps them help their child to remain calm and confident. An exhausted parent is no help to anyone.

I can’t believe anyone is seriously arguing over the need for parents to have a comfyish bed to try to grab a few hours sleep when they are going through the worry of their child being in hospital.

@Alondra

One more thing that I haven't addressed in the OP original post.

No, small children can't share a bed with a parent in a public hospital. A bed is only given to a patient, not to the parent as well. It's hospital policy in most Western countries.

The only time I've seen a deviation from this policy is with terminally ill children.

You should read all my posts before making inaccurate comments. I was encouraged to bedshare with my 1yo in a public hospital in the U.K.

My 1yo was not terminally ill

@Sirzy

Parents being well rested helps them help their child to remain calm and confident. An exhausted parent is no help to anyone.

I can’t believe anyone is seriously arguing over the need for parents to have a comfyish bed to try to grab a few hours sleep when they are going through the worry of their child being in hospital.

If you want a comfort bed to sleep, stay home and leave your child alone in hospital.

How often do I have to say a public hospital is NOT a hotel for parents to provide a comfortable bed? It's a fucking hospital, your sick child has to spend 1-2 nights and medical staff don't give a shit about your comfort. If you are thinking about your comfort instead of being worried sick about your child, you are seriously lacking in parental skills.

And please, enough of newborns, cancer kids, autistic kids and special cases. They are not what the OP's original post is about or why most children are in hospital. MOST not all special cases.

@Alondra Ronald McDonald houses are here in the uk too. At the moment with Covid we can't have the kids go to the house but the parents can stay and swap over.

[quote uptonogoode]@Alondra Ronald McDonald houses are here in the uk too. At the moment with Covid we can't have the kids go to the house but the parents can stay and swap over. [/quote]
I'm so happy to hear the Ronald McDonald houses are in the UK as well. I understand why is too much of a risk for the kids to go to the house, most of them are seriously immunocompromised because of their medication but at least their parents are nearby.

Thankfully the peadiatric sraff I have encountered are a lot more caring that you are Alondra and and appreciate the role of parents in the care and the importance of looking after the whole family not just the patient.

It is caring members of staff who have got me through many a tough hospital admission

@Sirzy

Thankfully the peadiatric sraff I have encountered are a lot more caring that you are Alondra and and appreciate the role of parents in the care and the importance of looking after the whole family not just the patient.

It is caring members of staff who have got me through many a tough hospital admission

I'm glad but I seriously doubt that if your child was really sick in a public hospital, and not in for a minor procedure, they will give such wholesome care about the whole family. Medical staff in public hospitals can have the luxury, just don't have the time. It's the awful state of our public health system and the billions of under investement for decades. Which by the way, will never accept healthy parents sharing beds with sick children.

I'm out, I'm in Australia is way past my bed time.

can't have the luxury

@Alondra I'm not sure what country you are in but believe me NHS wards rely on children having a parent or adult with them. Particularly mobile babies and young children.

Sleeping on a ward is an essential, not every hospital has a Mcdonald House and they probably cannot accommodate parents for every child either. Space will be priortised for long term parents.

But that doesn't take away the fact parents, usually mums, should be given somewhere suitable to sleep rather than a narrow chair that reclines but doesn't actually go flat.

DS has been in hospital from everything to “we don’t know if he will come home” to a day case planned surgery. Each of them 99% of staff have made time to look after everyone not just the patient. I have had a matron sit with me while I was in tears, I have had consultants who have sat doing etch a sketch with ds while I ran to the toilet, I have had cleaners stopping for a chat and to check on us.

Those little, perfectly normal, acts of kindness make things so much easier for everyone.

My child was in what sounds like almost the exact situation the OP’s is in, certainly in terms of age. I’m not sure why so many people are certain that I cannot have experienced what I did.

I bedshared with my 1yo in a U.K. NHS hospital. It was encouraged by the staff. This was after my child had been removed from continuous monitoring and oxygen. It was in a fold-down bed designated for parents. It was not comfortable; I did not expect it to be. But bedsharing definitely happened and was definitely encouraged by staff on a children’s ward in an NHS hospital.