Husband and toddler dinner time battles

[babyandthelion]

I have a 14mo DS.

Every evening our routine is that I go take a break for an hour while DH feeds him his dinner. Every day it ends in hysterical child and stressed our DH.

I have a knack (probably cos I am with him all day) of getting Ds to eat and I can normally get him to finish his breakfast or lunch. Yes he does throw some on the floor but I'd say 80% goes in.

DH has little tolerance for DS throwing food and he will simply remove the plate and then hand him tiny bites of food which then upsets DS. I just hate listening to them have this battle every night.

Why is it when I feed ds I can manage to get him to eat and he's happy and full at the end but when DH feeds him it ends up like this?

He asks me to not give him tips or advice as he needs to find his own way which I appreciate but it's becoming a real battle and difficult to listen to and I also think he sleeps better after a full dinner (which on the occasions I feed him he does have).

Is it possible that DS just eats better for me?!? I dread dinner time every day :-(

@babyandthelion

I'm reluctant to sort of 'give in' and have to give Ds his dinner too - my DH works out of the house and gets home right at the time my son needs feeding and it's the only time I get to go and tidy up/have a bath/go for a run or whatever. The routine is working pretty well in that respect.

My mum says he's right and he needs to find his own way of doing things. I have asked him to sit with me and watch while I feed Ds and he just takes offence and says I have my way and he has his.

If your mum says the same then I'd leave them to it. Your baby won't be damaged because your th doesn't let him throw food on the floor and you do. Come to think of it, I didn't really let mine and they're all fine and were good eaters.

[quote babyandthelion]@AnneLovesGilbert so we feed him at 5.30pm, bath at 6.15 ish and then a breastfeed at 7pm and normally asleep by 7.30pm.

DH and I then sit down and eat our dinner.

5.30pm just seems really early for us to sit and eat? I guess we just aren't used to that. I'd still be full from lunch (and then probably starving at 9pm!)

Is that what everyone else does? [/quote]
I'd pretty much say that everyone I know who has children has changed their eating time habits. It's par for the course and the benefits of enaks together surely outweigh the loss of your bathtine at 530? Surely that can be shifted until later? Good modelling of eating as a family could be the best thing for the whole family.

@babyandthelion

Thank you everyone,

We've spoken and we are implementing a family meal time at 6pm starting today onwards.

I'm quite excited!

That sounds like a really positive step! I just wanted to say, don't get disheartened if it doesn't go very well at first - you'll all need to adjust to the new routine and your DS will need to adjust to a new eating time so I just didn't want you to be upset if it wasn't a calm and straightforward experience on day 1! Over time it should really help, though.

@babyandthelion

Thank you everyone,

We've spoken and we are implementing a family meal time at 6pm starting today onwards.

I'm quite excited!

Sounds like a great plan OP, I hope it works out well for you x

I think it was around 14 months Ds stopped having breastfeed before bed also. So later dinner, and no milk before bed kinda of goes together.
Just had feed in morning a few more months

It doesn't work because its a battle of wills. Men and toddlers behave pretty much the same way only men are bigger.

I used to use a glove puppet ti feed DS1. He ate a lot more when "winnie the pooh" was feeding him than just me. Luckily Winnie was washable.
Fine for your DH to have his own way of doing things as long as it works.

@babyandthelion

Thank you everyone,

We've spoken and we are implementing a family meal time at 6pm starting today onwards.

I'm quite excited!

OP just remember that your husband hates the mess and you like feeding your son so it might be a little more stressful than you're anticipating to begin with.

So tonight I cooked us all a chickpea and spinach coconut curry (was delicious). All sat down to eat at 6pm ish which was so nice. DS maybe ate about 4 spoonfuls of it (self feeding with a spoon) but we just chatted and didn't pay much attention... when he started chucking it around we removed his plate then offered it back and he did eat a bit more... started chucking it again so we removed it and gave him a yoghurt and some banana which he ate most of.

Felt much less stressful and we even all did a 'cheers' with our drinks 🤣

Thanks everyone for great advice

Success.

I always think as long as they have eaten enough across the week in general, no need to cause stress over eat meal.

So good to read OP. Well done you and your DH!

Well done that's lovely!

Ah that's great, well done! I was worried it would take a bit of adjustment for you but sounds like it was a success!

That sounds lovely.

I have a recipe for that type of curry (from Waitrose) and its my favourite meal.

Great result! Well done OP.

One of my favourite times with DS is sitting down to eat with him, he babbles away & we pretend he’s telling us all about his tough day at nursery