Husband on a stag do

Nat90 · 2022-03-19T19:43:24+00:00

For 3 nights in Ireland I’m heavily pregnant with our 2nd child We have a 2 year old It’s the 2nd night and I’m struggling looking after our toddler without any help Do you think I should of pushed for him to go only the 1 or 2 nights?

Duracellbunnywannabe · 19/03/2022 19:44

Yes or not at all.

drawingpad · 19/03/2022 19:51

It doesn't really matter now, does it?

Can anyone help you tomorrow with the toddler?
What is causing the most problems? Can you relax the rules a bit to help?

SartresSoul · 19/03/2022 19:52

Well, it’s too late to change things now. Plenty of women cope with a toddler alone when they’re heavily pregnant. My DH had to work away when I was 37 weeks pregnant with DC2 and DC1 was 15 months old at the time. I was fine. It was hard but I survived.

Original poster

Nat90 · 19/03/2022 19:55

@drawingpad

It doesn't really matter now, does it?

Can anyone help you tomorrow with the toddler?
What is causing the most problems? Can you relax the rules a bit to help?

I know it’s a bit late now but I’m sitting here thinking god have I been a bit of a pushover by being like yeah sure go for 3 nights and get hammered every night, I’ll be fine.

It’s frustrating because my mum is away on holiday and literally everyone I know has Covid just now so no available help.

Just finding entertaining her all day/trying to squeeze through soft play/general walking/chasing after her is very difficult

OP posts:

Original poster

Nat90 · 19/03/2022 19:56

@SartresSoul

Well, it’s too late to change things now. Plenty of women cope with a toddler alone when they’re heavily pregnant. My DH had to work away when I was 37 weeks pregnant with DC2 and DC1 was 15 months old at the time. I was fine. It was hard but I survived.

That sounds a lot worse than my situation. The phrase suck it up buttercup is coming to mind for me

OP posts:

DDivaStar · 19/03/2022 19:57

Its not great timing for him to be away but you obviously agreed it. After all soon you'll be looking after 2 children.

Just make sure when he's back he takes the 2 year old and gives you a bit of downtime.

collieresponder88 · 19/03/2022 19:58

I wouldn't be going to soft play if your struggling just chill at home and go for walks with the buggy if you can don't try and do too much

BobMortimersPetOwl · 19/03/2022 20:04

It's 1 weekend thats a bit hard. Its not your normal circumstances so I think its a bit OTT. You should be able to cope with your child for a few days, though I get it's not exactly the best thing in the world.

If you don't want to go to soft play, don't go!

Crumpledegg · 19/03/2022 20:09

@SartresSoul

Well, it’s too late to change things now. Plenty of women cope with a toddler alone when they’re heavily pregnant. My DH had to work away when I was 37 weeks pregnant with DC2 and DC1 was 15 months old at the time. I was fine. It was hard but I survived.

Its not a competition Sartres. OP is obviously feeling a bit shit just now, comparing what you did to what shes doing isn't fair. I think since he has gone away this weekend, you can book yourself in for a pamper somewhere nice next weekend! ;) do whatever needs to be done to get you through until he comes back (tv, pj day, bath as an activity etc etc) 💐

sillysmiles · 19/03/2022 20:11

Couch, blanket movie and snacks.
Don't try to be insta perfect and order yourself a take away

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 19/03/2022 20:12

Play games watch toddler tv under a blanket. Go for a little walk as and when you feel like it.

Treats from the shop

Once toddlers in bed have a nice bath relax and enjoy the peace because soon it will be bedlam

coodawoodashooda · 19/03/2022 20:13

Id take the toddler swimming

BurntO · 19/03/2022 20:13

It’s just a one off. Take it easy and have a chilled weekend.

MyHusbandTheIdiot · 19/03/2022 20:14

Meh. Can’t get that excited about it. Another one whose DH works away so I just got on with it, he went back to work on day of delivery the first time too, two days later the second time.

sunisblinding · 19/03/2022 20:18

It's just one weekend.

Can he give you a coupon of nights off once he's home?

VampireMoney · 19/03/2022 20:22

Another one here saying that even pregnant you should be able to cope with your toddler for a couple of days/nights alone. Exh worked away 3 weeks at a time when I was pregnant with my 3rd🤷🏻‍♀️

Just take it easy, no need to have a fun filled weekend.. just blankets on the sofa, cartoons and easy meals.. give yourself a break. It doesn't have to be full on.

JellybeansJelly · 19/03/2022 20:24

It’s one weekend OP. I don’t know why you think you’re a pushover.

MrsGHarrison87 · 19/03/2022 20:24

He's there now so nothing you can do. It would have been nice if he'd not gone or came to a compromise and just gone for one night but if he doesn't always do things like this then I'd just let him go and enjoy himself. As for not being able to cope, unless you've got some kind of medical problem in your pregnancy then yabu. I've been a pregnant single mum with a few kids to look after. You're only on your own 3 days.

Kite22 · 19/03/2022 20:26

I'm inclined to agree no point in musing about it now.
Any of us offering an opinion on what you both should have agreed isn't going to help.

I wouldn't go to soft play. It won't harm to have a couple of easy days, even if she watches more TV than you normally would allow or you have some easy food or snacks or takeaway. Do what you need to do to make it easier for you.

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 19/03/2022 20:26

You're half way there now.

Its tiring being heavily pregnant without a toddler in the mix too

Just have a PJ day tomorrow. Rest as much as you can, a day of screen time and quick, easy meals, and your dh will be back before you know it.

Not are why pp wants to play the misery Olympics with you, every parent has struggled at points, and the whole "I had it worse" attitude is really weird. As if op is suddenly going to be magically untired because someone else had it worse.

blockbustervideo · 19/03/2022 20:27

I don't understand.
What's so hard about looking after your toddler on your own for a few days?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 19/03/2022 20:28

If you've both previously agreed it's fine for him to go, then you can't do anything about it now. All you can do is say that you really struggled and in future you can't do a whole weekend on your own. Obvs covid throws things off as you can't ever guarantee that your support system wont catch it, but in future just say that there needs to be a plan in place.

When DH goes away, I plan that weekend out. So book in for swimming, maybe cinema or organise a picnic if money is an issue. Tell DC that you're going to do A, B and C this weekend and you can chill in-between (and say that you won't be able to do X if they are being naughty).
We often do a sleepover party too so we will set up the living room with cushions and blankets, buy some pizza bases and pick a film. Just helps keep some orders for the weekend.

But please don't make him feel bad for having gone away. He hasn't done anything wrong.

AllTheWeetabix · 19/03/2022 20:31

Why are you struggling without help? Sounds like you just want him home from the stag.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/03/2022 20:34

It’s much he went now then when you have a toddler and a new born!

When my OH is away I try and plan my time carefully so I get to see other adults/people.

Fizzgigg · 19/03/2022 20:37

@blockbustervideo

I don't understand. What's so hard about looking after your toddler on your own for a few days?

Aren't you a delight?

She's tired and heavily pregnant and toddlers can be testing at the best of times so she's gone onto a forum for, you know, other mums who might understand how she's feeling. So much for a bit of support or solidarity.

Don't worry OP. Definitely take it easy tomorrow. Have a home picnic and movie afternoon or something. You'll get there!