To be finding it so impossible to work FT and lose weight?

[Fat13]

Of course, this is on some level ridiculous because people do work full time and do lose weight or maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle but for whatever reason I don’t. I had a long period where I wasn’t working as lockdown 1 ran into my maternity leave so I was off for nearly 18 months. I did so much walking and managed gym visits when they started again, lost a lot of weight.

Now back at work and I just … can’t. Just so tired and run down I crave food and the cravings are overwhelming in a way they weren’t when I was off.

Anyone find the same?

I completely understand how you feel op. I feel like my brain is so full of stuff that there's no room to think about anything else, especially after a day at work.

Do you think you could start with a couple of small changes? Just simple things like drink a big glass of water before you eat anything, and make sure half your plate is filled with veg/salad at meal times even if the main part of the meal isn't that healthy?

Its me who is an ugly useless fat piece of shit. No one else should get offended or annoyed by that! Just some people are failures and I’m one of them, OK?
There is no such thing. Please forget about losing weight and learn to love yourself.
Being slim isn't a great achievement, been happy is.
I'm really sorry you feel so down, we live in a world where beauty comes in all sizes.
I know lots of beautiful attractive women who suffer with obesity.

Losing weight is far more to do with the amount of calories you eat or drink than the exercise you do.

Try intermittent fasting - eat in a 8 hour window. My first meal is lunch and last meal is dinner.

I used to walk daily and stopped over the winter months. My weight has not reduced.

Please, please read The Obesity Code. I promise it will rock your world. I promise! It’s not your fault diets don’t work, and the plural of anecdote is not data.

@Fellrunner85

To be honest I don't think exercise is the answer. 1 mars bar=about 30 minutes hard exercise

But this is a fundamental misunderstanding of the benefits of exercise. Burning calories is a minute part of it.
Exercise has been proved to improve mental health, build muscle, improve heart and respiratory fitness, etc etc. It makes you feel and look better from the inside out. And if a 30 minute run means you can eat an extra chocolate bar then that's an added bonus, but it's not the point.

This. Also, exercises raises your metabolism for as much as 24 hours after you stop*. So what you burn during isn’t even even the whole story.

*Yes, it DOES. I wrote a thesis on it!

If you are going to the supermarket in the evening it sounds like you need to plan better. Meal plan and shop once a week (if you need to top up milk etc then obviously do that but only buy what you need). Buy what you need for lunches and dinners abd buy some better snack options like fruit, rice cakes (chocolate snack a jacks are good for a sweet hit) etc. Change the sort of food you are snacking on to lower calorie options you can eat higher volumes of to fill you up.

You sound like your mindset is the problem, you think you can’t change things and if you think that way you won’t. You need to start with small steps and start with positive actions. Nothing will change unless you do something to change it. There is no magic wand, you have to put effort in.

I find that I eat worse on the weekends than when I’m busy at work.

However I’m like you that I’m so exhausted I come home and just crave crap food.

I make sure I know exactly what I’m having for dinner and try and prep as much as I can the night before.
I also think about what snacks I can have - fruit, sugar free jelly, popcorn, mini sausages, normal sized bag of crisps, cup of tea etc. - things you can’t binge on but are still lowish calories.

It is really really hard

For me it’s all about the sugar and carbs. When I’m eating those I have highs and lows through the day and the cravings and tiredness are awful.

When I manage to cut sugar and carbs right back I feel much more on an even keel and much more able to stop impulsively reaching for the snacks and actually make conscious choices about what to eat. Plus I gain time because I find after a few days I don’t need to eat as much and for example just have a coffee with coconut oil in on the go in the morning which keeps me full til lunchtime.

If you haven’t tried it, I would recommend it to see if it agrees with you.
The Mumsnet low carb bootcamp is a good place to start

@Fellrunner85

To be honest I don't think exercise is the answer. 1 mars bar=about 30 minutes hard exercise

But this is a fundamental misunderstanding of the benefits of exercise. Burning calories is a minute part of it.
Exercise has been proved to improve mental health, build muscle, improve heart and respiratory fitness, etc etc. It makes you feel and look better from the inside out. And if a 30 minute run means you can eat an extra chocolate bar then that's an added bonus, but it's not the point.

Yes, but the OP's goal is to lose weight.

As I said, she should lose weight then get into a healthy routine. It is actually hard to exercise while restricting calories, unless you are about 20.

I can think of a few people I have known that did an extensive workout routine, and ate a healthy but fairly calorie rich diet. They then wondered why they were not losing weight, as the were "doing the right thing" with the exercise and healthy eating.

I'm sure everyone here has probably said the same thing OP but you do realise exercise has very little to do with losing weight?

A one hour brisk walk only burns around 200 calories (2 bananas worth).

It's great for toning you up and getting you fitter absolutely - but it's your diet that needs to change.

It's often slagged off on here but I find following the slimming world plan ,(at home, I don't go to group) works well for me. It's centred on eating lots of fresh fruit, veg and protein with carbs should you want them (I tend to limit these to once or twice a week). I've lost 2 stone by doing this myself. I do also go for brisk walks every day as I enjoy it however a friend of mine who does SW has lost even more weight than me and doesn't do any exercise at all as like you she works FT and can't fit it in. She's done it through diet alone, as do many people.

Abs are made in the kitchen!

And yes, cut out sugar. The more you eat the more you want.

I find after cutting it out for a week or so I don't even crave it any more.

@Fat13 I think people are being unnecessarily harsh. It's so hard to lose weight when you want to but it's fallen down the list of priorities.

Fill up on protein - at least 100g a day. Boiled eggs as snacks. Scrambled eggs for breakfast. Chicken / fish salad for lunch. Big portion of protein and veg for dinner with smaller portion of brown rice / pasta / potatoes.

If 4pm is your danger time to go to the supermarket, eat some chicken at 3pm so you're full.

Why not start a thread in the weight loss chat and post there at your danger times and we will talk you out of it!

@Fat13 this is 100% me.

I went back to full time work after years off with small children. Put on 2kg within 6 weeks as my body just wasn't used to sitting down all day!

When I wasn't working I never had a weight problem because I was always out, pushing a buggy, running around a playground, walking the dog, chasing DC around soft play, walking here, there, and everywhere to toddler group etc. and then I'd go to the gym a few times a week in the evenings!

Now I'm too tired to gym in the evenings after working all day. I hate putting on weight.

@Fat13

Thanks, we do have a microwave at work but tbh I’m fine in the day. It’s evenings when I end up doing stupid things like eating a whole packet of biscuits and crisps.

The easiest thing to do there is not buy biscuits and crisps.

A good swap is to have mini portions of cheese, hard boiled eggs and suchlike, together with grapes or other fruit - that way, if you're craving things that are savoury and salty, you have a convenient 70kcal snack and access to minimal energy sweetness in the grapes. And if you did a teaplate of crackers, a cheese and grapes, you will feel more satisfied than if you just had a large packet of crisps,

Sorry OP, but you aren't doing ok in the day if routinely between 4 -6pm you have massive cravings that are driving you to go get what you need.

As well as the teeth cleaning to stop the desire for snacks, can you budget some calories for 3:30/4pm? A healthier snack than sugary stuff, something like some cold cooked chicken or an extra half sandwich. Eat it then with a drink and say to yourself you'll give it half an hour before going to the supermarket for snacks. If you are consistently hungry at the same time of day and at that time of day you have gone past being able to make good food choices, its possible you need to head off that craving stage.

I found v spicy foods helped stop the sugar craving more than same amount of protein/calories in blander forms.

If you have a time available for crap food supermarket run, can you fill it with something else? As the weather improves, can you meet another mum friend with their dcs at the park for a pre dinner play?

And tiredness does trigger sugar cravings. Its bloody tough with small dcs. Be kind to yourself.

@Fat13

And *@NoSquirrels* there is absolutely no way I am answering deeply personal questions like that from someone who doesn’t even want to talk to me!

I don’t want you to answer me. On thread. I’m just saying these are the questions you need to ask yourself to understand what causes the emotional eating and cravings, and then you can work on overcoming and eliminating triggers.

I’m not trying to make you feel bad, and I’m sorry if you took that from it. I said I wouldn’t post again not because “I don’t want to talk to you” but because I understood from your posts you didn’t want to discuss these things.

I have to not buy chocolate and things that I like OP best thing for me is keeping KIND bars and whittackers dried fruit shots in my handbag to beat the afternoon crash. And doing something with my hands in the evening like playing animal crossing or doodling, making lists for nice things etc

@Fat13

Thanks, we do have a microwave at work but tbh I’m fine in the day. It’s evenings when I end up doing stupid things like eating a whole packet of biscuits and crisps.

Just cutting this out would make a huge difference. How you find the motivation to do so it up to you. But start with just not buying unhealthy snacks!

You are NOT an “ugly useless fat piece of shit”.

It’s understanding why you believe this about yourself and your perfectly human issue that loads of people share - dealing with complex emotions by trying to alleviate them with food/alcohol/drugs - that is the key.

I AM sorry this thread made you feel that way. I was definitely not being passive aggressive. I’m acutely aware how extremely difficult overcoming emotional eating is.

Tired and craving sound like me when I eat (especially processed rather then leafy green) carbs.

Try the MN own low carb approach to eating 22 Low Carb Bootcamp - the final weigh-in! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lowcarbbootcamp/4504657-Jan-22-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-the-final-weigh-in

Hope you find what works for you.

So I think what people are maybe missing is I did lose a huge amount of weight when I wasn’t working. I honestly don’t mean this rudely - it’s a shame people keep taking it that way - but when you get a lot of diet advice it can be a bit stressful and overwhelming just because what suits one person doesn’t necessarily get on with another.

Of course I realise exercise isn’t the most important thing with weight loss but activity does matter and there is a subtle difference.

People still keep saying don’t buy it then - like I say if it was that simple literally no one would smoke.

But you are working now so have to find something that works for you now, unless you are in a position to quit working there's not much point just remembering that you managed then. If exercise was what worked best for you then even though you're tired in the evening finding something you enjoy maybe now the evenings are lighter, I took up skipping during lockdown and love it.

I know that @Papayamya and it’s one reason I started the thread, I’m not disputing for a moment I am working

But I think what people are asking is why start the thread if you don't want advice but also don't want people to say the obvious?

See this just baffles me, it’s like people think you can’t have a conversation.