To be finding it so impossible to work FT and lose weight?

[Fat13]

Of course, this is on some level ridiculous because people do work full time and do lose weight or maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle but for whatever reason I don’t. I had a long period where I wasn’t working as lockdown 1 ran into my maternity leave so I was off for nearly 18 months. I did so much walking and managed gym visits when they started again, lost a lot of weight.

Now back at work and I just … can’t. Just so tired and run down I crave food and the cravings are overwhelming in a way they weren’t when I was off.

Anyone find the same?

what is dc other parent doing.

can do nursery run a couple of days a week so you can go to the gym?

tbh on stressed days I schedule in a run. the sweating and controlled breathing calms me right down.
plus I have to have the last food 2 hours before running or I get stitches.

I’ve never really been a runner … not sure I could.

Evenings are my problem too. The best thing I have ever done fitness-wise is to buy one of those Reebok fitness step thingies (like you use for step classes at the gym) and after the kids go to bed, get it out in front of the telly and just step up and down on it for half an hour while I watched mindless telly. That way I didn't have to motivate myself to get changed, leave house, etc etc and it was half an hour that I definitely wasn't snacking! It was really great.

I need to start doing it again - I lost my exercise mojo during a period of illness last year so need to get back into building up again.

Oh op I'm with you. I'm not massively over weight but I could do with losing some. I too have broken nights and am very busy with work and dc. Exercising on top feels impossible no matter what anyone says. I'm already on my knees exhausted so its not doable to get up earlier and after bedtime battles I just crash out.
My eating happens in the evenings too. Its a reward for the stress I'm under. Its hard to break that habit. I'm a social worker so when I'm home I'm ruminating on the day and plowing through crisps. I love them.
Many people underestimate the power stress has on weight.
My only suggestion is to find something else to do in that time. One issue for me is sitting on the sofa as that's when I eat crap, so instead il sit upstairs or in the garden and find something easy to do like read or paint.

Sleep. Not enough sleep and you are going to crave sugar and fat. Stress isn't going to help.

I have lost weight without a lot of exercise but had to cut back lots of calories.

In teaching: I would go for maintenance in term time week days, eat slightly less at the weekends, and eat less in the holidays. Even if this just slows the weight gain, this will help.

I have lost two stones over a year and 7 months. Initially using a smaller dish for breakfast, and trying to reduce snacks. I did walk a lot on holiday to kick it off...

I cut out sugar altogether (well as much as you can) and after a few days it got easier. Also i always have 2 eggs for breakfast and that seems to set me up for far fewer late afternoon cravings. Once you have left all obvious sugars out of your diet, it really cuts down what you choose to eat, you are choosing food with real nutrients in it and therefor far fewer cravings. I can still have 'naughty' food in the form of crisps etc so dont feel deprived. I just feel more balanced and in control overall; on special days have sugar, but it actually makes me feel not so good now. good luck with whatever you go for oP

Do Noom!!!!

I was you, completely and it addresses all of these things. I say it and people ignore me or it gets drowned in other posts but honestly. Sign up for Noom.

Not sure why you posted this in AIBU then. To lose weight you need to eat less calories than your burning. If you literally can’t exercise any more then you need to be eating less. You don’t want suggestions on how to help that so what are you looking for?

@Fat13

Well yes but what I’m trying to explain is how overwhelming the cravings are. I mean, tbh, I wasn’t necessarily looking for advice on it, it’s more to see if other people found this? As I definitely have now noticed a pattern.

You don’t want advice, just agreement it’s a pattern and hard? Fair enough. It’s a pattern and it’s hard.

Free advice you can discard: to deal with overwhelming cravings you need both tools in the moment to overcome them (distraction, breathing through it, etc) AND to address the emotions underlying - why are you craving shit that’s bad for you and will make you worse in the long-run; why do you believe the bad shit alleviates the stress?

Feel free to ignore. Heard good things about Noom.

I understand the overwhelming cravings and the autopilot that sends you to the shop or the fridge.
Can you frame it as not wanting to set a bad example for your DC? Because they really will start to notice/emulate the behaviour (definitely not trying to shame you here - it's just what works for me).
Also, maybe you could create a commitment after work so you can't go to the shop - after-school club or allotment or promise the kids a visit to the park? I know it sounds like it would make you busier but it could break the cycle.

If you don't like running, there are plenty of online fitness classes you can do at home. If you did 30 mins 3x a week, that would be a great start. Cardio stuff like cardio dance is ideal as you need no equipment and not much space. Even HIIT-type classes; a bit brutal but pleasingly brief. You could even make up your own routine; if you did some combination of star jumps/ hamstring curls/ squats/running on the spot/ skipping/lunges/mountain climbers for 30 mins and some stretches afterwards, you would definitely tone up a bit and get fitter.

Like you, OP, I definitely eat better if I exercise too. It was a very difficult habit to start, but in the past year, I’ve started getting up at 5am three days a week to go out for a run before work (I’m also a FT teacher). Couch to 5k is a brilliant programme which really does take you from being a complete non-runner to running for a full half hour non-stop, and you can repeat weeks if you’re daunted by the next one. I’m a slow runner, but I’m a regular runner. I’ve lost over 2 stone since last summer (mostly down to cutting the crap out of my diet, but that was motivated by massively increased exercise).

Thanks @Rewritethestars1, I am similar. It is hard and it’s a pain.

No one needs to get annoyed or upset about it, I obviously know why it’s happening but breaking that cycle is not easy either. If it was, weight just wouldn’t really be an issue. It always has been for me, I literally don’t remember a time I haven’t struggled with my weight.

@Fat13

I don’t think I’m explaining very well, I don’t go to the supermarket to get other things, I go to buy the things I want. If it was as simple as don’t buy it no one would be a drug addict, smoker etc, I mean on one level it is that simple but on another it isn’t.

Sleep isn’t great so I always get disturbed at least once and sometimes we have those ‘split nights’ which are difficult. It’s better than it was. But still not great.

If you are popping into the supermarket on the way home then its likely you arent eating properly/ enough during the day. Can you tell us what you have for breakfast and lunch? If you are leaving work at 4pm then thats 2 hours to incorporate something positive into your day until 6pm when the witching hour kicks off!

I have the children with me though, Temple. I can’t just go and hike up a hill, or something

Tbh you do sound a bit defeatist. I do know it's hard, I lost a few stone a while ago and getting into the right frame of mind is difficult, but that won't happen if you keep saying "I can't I can't I can't "

You're either ready to do something about it, or your not. Unfortunatley there's generally no inbetween.

Good luck as I know how wearing it is when you're not where you want to be.

That’s not my intention at all Seth but the thing is I do know what I have to do but I just can’t seem to do it.

I get that can be frustrating for people, it frustrates me, but that’s the reality.

Some stuff I genuinely can’t do as well, like walk to work. But the main problem is just that I can’t seem to do what has to be done.

I obviously know why it’s happening but breaking that cycle is not easy either. If it was, weight just wouldn’t really be an issue. It always has been for me, I literally don’t remember a time I haven’t struggled with my weight.

If you’ve always struggled with your weight and eating patterns then it is very likely that actually you don’t really ‘know why it’s happening’ in a fundamental sense and digging into the underlying reasons for that would be important. In order to break a cycle, you need to look at root causes. These are usually beliefs about ourselves, self-worth etc.

It’s very hard. Harder than quitting booze or drugs because you have to eat, right? But the underlying mental work needed is much the same.

@Fat13

I have the children with me though, Temple. I can’t just go and hike up a hill, or something

Why? How old are they? Go to the park, run around and get them to chase you. Swimming ? Mini trampoline Do something Anything that gets this cycle broken

I do know but knowing and actually being able to do something about it are not the same things! I really thought I’d cracked it when I wasn’t at work and broken bad habits, evidently not!

Ps please change your name.
Its awful
This is a way of thinking issue.
" I cant"
Change it to "I can"

Yes, temple, I could and sometimes do go for walks through the park but we aren’t really at an age where we can ‘run and chase after me’.

This is splitting hairs but also although the weather is good now we have only just come out of winter really and it’s only in the last 2 weeks or so it’s been light enough to do this.

And it does turn everything into a hell of a long day for both parties when you leave the house at 730 and don’t get back to it till 6, if you get me.

But you seem to have misunderstood why I’m posting Temple. I don’t really want to be told what to do - I know what I need to do, I’m trying to explain that I’m struggling so, so much to do it.

@Fat13

But you seem to have misunderstood why I’m posting Temple. I don’t really want to be told what to do - I know what I need to do, I’m trying to explain that I’m struggling so, so much to do it.

Ok I agree its difficult. There Im out

@Fat13

I do know but knowing and actually being able to do something about it are not the same things! I really thought I’d cracked it when I wasn’t at work and broken bad habits, evidently not!

OK, I’m going to be annoying but then it’ll be my last post, I promise. M

What do you know about why it’s happening?

What are your beliefs about why you need the biscuits or ‘treat’ food when you’re stressed?

What do you believe it will make you feel?

Is that belief justified? Does eating the biscuits actually make you feel better?

What else could you do in the moment to make yourself feel better that would be a healthy choice?

What can you change about the underlying stresses that will alleviate the stress itself (& stop you needing the biscuits)?

Poor sleep: DP does more night wakings
No opportunity to exercise: change routine to prioritise it

Etc.

I won’t post again. But there’s no point recognising a pattern if you can’t break through to using the knowledge to improve things. And you can’t be self-aware if you think you’re helpless.