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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help keep me company please

84 replies

notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 02:07

Sorry not aibu.

Had a massive bust up. The end final fuck up in Italy

He basically said I was unfit to be a mother. They should take my kids off me. I should be tranquilliser.

I've bpd. I really really struggle with abandonment. He kept saying he was going to go.

Anyway. Ended up him kicking me out of the hotel room at 2.30am. I've managed to get a flight. But it's not till lunchtime. Got a taxi to the airport and the doors are shut till 3.30am anyway! So I'm stuck outside in the freezing cold. Feeling super emotional. And I took diazepam to sleep and now I feel spaced out. And I'm literally on my own in the middle of fucking nowhere.

OP posts:
Klausnextmum · 19/03/2022 02:17

Do you have people to go to? Sorry can’t type very well. Half asleep but couldn’t leave you alone. 💐

ThePoorWeeDonkey · 19/03/2022 02:30

This sounds awful. I hope you are safe.

SenoraMiasma · 19/03/2022 02:32

@notntabitmad

Hey! I’m wide awake. Is there anyone around? Security? Other travellers? Is there a hotel nearby where you can sit in the lobby?

Original poster
notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 02:37

Thank you. Sorry I posted this. Went on a mad deleting photos phase. It's just Opened.

I'm warm. But sad. And alone.

There are a few people asleep on benches. I have ages to wait. Can't sleep. Found myself a charging point and waiting for a cafe to open.

Just feel sick. I wish I hadnt taken the diazepam...

OP posts:
zoeFromCity · 19/03/2022 02:51

It sounds really hard. If you are not asleep yet, make sure you have your documents well on you, and that you are as safe as possible, and just be. If you can fell asleep, sleep. You are going home in several hours.

SenoraMiasma · 19/03/2022 02:56

But you are safe? You could ask if they have a first aid area - say you feel faint or dizzy?

Original poster
notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 03:24

Thank you

Sorry I am still here. And if it's ok I'd like to keep writing. I'm just having a bit of a panic

It was awful. I was hysterical. He made me beg to not leave me to go for dinner. I had to keep saying sorry. Then I tried to pull it together for a nice meal and he just had a go at me for not feeling well.

He said he thinks my children shouldn't be with me and I should be sectioned. So I don't really want to ask for help. He's made me terrified they're going to take my kids off me.

Im starting to fade now. But it's a lot busier. Theresa woman next to me asleep on her rucksack

Sorry. And thanks for being around. I just feel so alone. I hate it.

OP posts:
Fossilsmorefossils · 19/03/2022 03:32

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Have you found a warmer place to be now?

Liar5Fire4321 · 19/03/2022 03:35

Set your mobile phone alarms for a time so that you have enough time to get through airport checking & security

Drink some water if possible

Stay safe

Bickles · 19/03/2022 03:36

That sounds so stressful. Hope the cafe opens soon for a warm cup of tea.
This too shall pass.Flowers

Original poster
notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 04:03

Thank you so much

You've made me have a little cry. The kindness of strangers. Yet the man who was supposed to care told me to leave at 2am in a foreign country.

I'm okay thanks. Cold I think because I'm tired. Diazepam has kicked in. I have set my alarms. But I have nearly 8 hours here.

There is a massive queue to go through but as I can't check in yet I don't see the point. Going to wait for it to die down and then maybe go through. I have a nice spot with my bags under my feet.

Nothing is open yet. But as soon as it does I'll get a tea. And you're right. It will feel better with tea and being warm.

Thank you again. I'm really not coping. Your messages have helped me so much

OP posts:
OhThatChicken · 19/03/2022 04:08

Hopefully you can have a nice cup of tea and something to eat to settle your stomach soon. I've never been to Italy before but I imagine fancy pastries - hopefully you can get one with your tea.

You say you're not coping but you sound pretty together to me. You sorted yourself out and got yourself packed up in a foreign country in the middle of the night. You also got yourself out of what sounds like an aggressive and upsetting situation.

You're doing great. Keep chatting to us if you can and want to. You'll be home before you know it.

Pretenditsaplan · 19/03/2022 04:16

An abusive partner will always use kids over you as a threat. If he was really worried about them he would of spoke to the authorities before now. Its a pure power play he knows he cant win. He panicked and assumed it would make you do whatever he wanted and stay with him. It didnt work. He has nowhere to go from here. Its like a narcissistic parents going from 0%to 130% in one go to try and control someone. They have no worse threats.

Fossilsmorefossils · 19/03/2022 04:20

Some airports have a shower. Can you check if this one has one? It might be nice in the morning to have a shower. Warms you up a bit and it's a bit of self care that you might need right now.

Can you call a friend this evening after you've had a nap? It might help to have a talk with someone who knows you. Even if it's just to get it off of your chest.

Original poster
notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 04:45

Thank you. I just had a look online and I can't see any showers. Id love to wash my hair. But even just putting some make up on and feeling human would be good. I think I'm going to cry again though so not sure there's any point.

I don't think he was saying about taking my kids off me to get me to Stay. He wanted me to go. But I was like it's not like I live down the road. And it's the middle of the night. I think he just wanted to hurt me. He knows my kids are my everything.

I also have to go back to his first to get my work laptop etc. last time we had an argument he blocked my key access so I couldn't get in to get my stuff. I had to wait for him so I could get in. I'm worried he'll do that again. Then I'll be so stuck.

I feel quite sick. I don't normally have diazapamn I only got prescribed them this week. I had one that night as I thought it would help me sleep but that's it till tonight.

I'm so tired. Emotionally and physically. I just can't believe some of the stuff he said. It was so hurtful. And he knows how vulnerable I am. He even said he thought I'd hit rock bottom. So why stick the knife in even more? He didn't need to say all the crap.

OP posts:
Bogeyes · 19/03/2022 04:53

Hi. Are you flying soon?

expat101 · 19/03/2022 04:57

People, even our closest ones, could say things better worded at times, and yes it hurts like hell.

I'm no where near Italy atm to offer solid advice. I know they have a good train service you can take to get back into Switzerland etc.

Where exactly would you like to head to?

As you seem to have a functioning device, and internet access, can you start to change passwords for variouss accounts while waiting?

CheapMustard · 19/03/2022 04:58

Can you have a little snooze somewhere? Or are you feeling a bit too wide-awake? Maybe go for a little walk, grab a magazine or a sudoku book. Investigate where the showers are?

Time will fly. You will be ok.

Original poster
notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 05:11

Sorry. Was on the wrong floor... have gone downstairs. I can't check in. Ba desk is not open! I have over 6 hours till my flight so I'm not surprised. I'm trying to get back to the uk. There was only one flight today so I didn't have much choice.

Have found a cafe. Got a coffee and croissant. The server nearly shouted at me as I should have sat down first before ordering. And it's just too much. I can't cope with it. I know she wasn't trying to be rude but I can't cope

I feel like I could have a breakdown at any point. One minute I'm ok and then I feel like I'm falling apart.

OP posts:
CheapMustard · 19/03/2022 05:25

Hold steady, you will be fine. Life has just chucked you a curved ball. You’re at the airport, you’re on your way home. It’s just a few boring hours to wait. Can you get stuck into a book or podcast to help pass the time? Or if you’re feeling energetic, a lap of the airport? Practise some breathing techniques if you’re feeling wobbly.

Ignore the waitress, she’s prob pissed off being up so early - grumpy fecker!

Goatlady5812 · 19/03/2022 05:27

How are you doing op? What time is your flight? Hang on in there

RandomBasic · 19/03/2022 05:42

Is your work laptop in Italy with him? Is there anyone you know who could bring it to you at the airport if you paid for an Uber?

If you asked him to bring it would he? Just an exchange at the airport, so no room for drama. Don't even say a word to him apart from ' thank you for bringing my computer.' don't try and reason or get closure.

Original poster
notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 05:44

Thank you.

I know. I'm just tired. The drugs are making me spaced. I just want to be in my own bed. I'm passing out a little. I can't keep my eyes open.

Flight it at 12.40 local time.

The thought of having to deal with people just makes me feel sick.

OP posts:
notntabitmad · 19/03/2022 06:03

This reply has been deleted

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Fossilsmorefossils · 19/03/2022 06:03

Doid ypu set an alarm so you're in time for check in and stuff?