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Original poster

To feel he loves his dog

85 replies

Springhassprung3 · 18/03/2022 15:00

More than me. Been together 8 months and close for over a year. He got his dog just before we met when he was in a bad place. He says the dog saved him. He had a couple of dogs with his ex He never stops showing photos of to me too.

I love his dog. He's great. But my boyfriend seems to be so focused on the dog it's like I don't exist. He uploads his photos onto Facebook. He shares memes about dogs being better than humans. It sleeps in the bed with us. In the morning He gives him cuddles and kisses. Asks him how he slept. He play fights him and rolls about with him. He rarely comes to me for a snog or hug.

I sometimes think is this Normal. Or is he just detached from human emotions?

OP posts:
Pyri · 18/03/2022 15:02

I am pretty sure my husband loves our dog more than he loves me or our children. What’s not to like - a dog is loyal, always loving, never has tantrums or nags, is basically just a joyful little bag of gorgeousness and love.

I think a man who loves his dog is very attractive.

Him not coming to you for affection is entirely a different issue. If you’re being affectionate with him and he doesn’t reciprocate then at 8 months, that’s probably not a great sign. Are you happy with him otherwise?

The dog love is a total red herring in this situation tbh

Dozycuntlaters · 18/03/2022 15:03

Well to be fair, dogs ARE better than humans. I have a boyfriend (whom I don't live) and a dog (who I do live with). I can imagine my fella posting this exact same thing but at the end of the day being brutally honest, I do love my dog far more than I love my boyfriend and I cuddle and kiss her far more than I do him. I don't think he's detached from human emotions, he just has a different kind of love for his dog than he does for you.

DeadButDelicious · 18/03/2022 15:03

It doesn't sound like he's detached from human emotions, he clearly loves the dog and has a bond with him.

It doesn't sound like he's as invested in your relationship as you are however. Rarely coming to you for a kiss or a cuddle doesn't sound great at 8 months in. Does he show his affection at all?

Bananabutter · 18/03/2022 15:04

It’s not normal. A dog is an animal, a pet. Not part of the family. Not a furbaby.

If he loves the animal more than you, run. Run fast.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/03/2022 15:04

Forget the dog issue, you're already wasting your time. Move on and find a man who has an actual interest in you.

Shmithecat2 · 18/03/2022 15:05

My husband never uploads pics of me either. I do loads of cat memes and pics though. Sounds pretty normal to me, you're overthinking it.

Bananabutter · 18/03/2022 15:06

What’s not to like

@Pyri Lots. They’re smelly, dirty, they get in the way, the disproportionately expensive for what they are, they tie you down and stop you going and doing where you want and they usually come with deluded entitled pet owners.

Pyri · 18/03/2022 15:07

@Bananabutter

It’s not normal. A dog is an animal, a pet. Not part of the family. Not a furbaby.

If he loves the animal more than you, run. Run fast.

Honestly you have red flags all over you

Of course a dog is part of the family

AuntieMarys · 18/03/2022 15:07

Ugh

bozzabollix · 18/03/2022 15:08

Maybe he’s the wrong bloke for you. If I were you I’d be trying to curry favour with the dog, it’s always upsetting when the dog prefers someone else!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 18/03/2022 15:10

The fact that he shows the dog live and affection is a sign of a kind and caring man
The problem is, he treats you differently and I would discuss that
However, a dog IS family
I care for my love my dog, but he is not my fur baby and is treated like a dog.
My sons are my children!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 18/03/2022 15:10

Love

iklboo · 18/03/2022 15:11

I seriously hope bananabutter doesn't have pets.

Doglikeahorse · 18/03/2022 15:13

I have uploaded many photos of my dog.

None of DH Grin

SevenWaystoLeave · 18/03/2022 15:16

Don't think the dog is the issue tbh - sounds like he has problems with intimacy if he can't come to you for a hug and a kiss, but that would probably be true if he had a dog or not. Lots of people find it easier to express emotions with animals than people, doesn't make the animal the problem.

Fatgalslim · 18/03/2022 15:18

How is his behaviour with you?

Fatgalslim · 18/03/2022 15:19

@Doglikeahorse

I have uploaded many photos of my dog.

None of DH Grin

Yep, me too. I also have kisses & cuddles, play fight and ask her how she slept Grin
FizzyTango · 18/03/2022 15:19

If you feel this way it’s not gonna work out.

I’ve been with my DH for 14 years and love him a lot. We got a dog 3 years ago. We both fuss and cuddle the dog way more than each other. The dog totally gets preferential treatment from both of us. That’s how it is!

Norgie · 18/03/2022 15:20

It's said that a dog owner will have more pics of their dog on their phone than anything else.
I have hundreds of pics on my phone of my dog....and none of my DH.
Maybe my DH should grow another pair of legs and start eating pedigree chum.

VeryQuaintIrene · 18/03/2022 15:24

I upload way more pictures of our cats to Facebook than of my partner. Does it mean I love them more than her? Of course not! But, as others have said, maybe he's not the one for you (and personally, I would loathe sleeping with a dog, but I am a total cat person and not super-keen on dogs and their ways.)

Dozycuntlaters · 18/03/2022 15:26

@Norgie same here, if you were to look at my camera roll you would know for sure I have a dog as I have hundreds of photos of her, you may be forgiven for thinking I am single lol. Maybe if DP looked as cute as the dog I may have a few more!!

And my dog (and cats) whilst animals, are definitely part of the family, and a very important part too.

maddy68 · 18/03/2022 15:29

My husband definitely loves our dogs more than me. ...it's not a competition.

LampLighter414 · 18/03/2022 16:31

If its not for you then it's not for you, make your feelings known and see if there is any change.

In my experience I have come across far more women obsessed with the dogs, letting them share the bed, spoilt with treats and attention than men. In any case, it would seem they are only interested in partners who love dogs as much as they do and wouldn't consider changing arrangements in favour of a human (e.g. No dog in bed). Weirdos...

Bigtruth · 18/03/2022 16:36

I've been with my wife for 9 years. I love my dog more than I love my wife.

I don't allow our dog into our bedroom though.

I don't think the problem is who he loves more, it's how much attention you're getting.

There needs to be open communication channels so that you can express your need for more affection and he can explain why it may not always be forthcoming. Hopefully you can reach a place that makes you both happy.

Don't worry about him loving his dog, that's not the issue (although sharing a bed with a dog, I'd probably draw a line before that).

99pronouns · 18/03/2022 16:57

I love my dog
I love my cat
I love my bf

I have enough love for all of them.
I would say, he's just not that into you and you deserve more.

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