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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being called love, darling er

88 replies

Rosebel · 17/03/2022 22:18

I hate it, unless it's my husband saying it. Never used to bother me but recently it really grates, especially if someone younger than me says it.
At work it's most irratating as we all have name badges and I feel like shouting just use my bloody name.
My manager is the worst for this but I've noticed the team leaders doing it too.
Am I just a miserable cow or do others find it annoying too?
YABU =it's fine
YANBU =its irratating and patronising

OP posts:
userxx · 17/03/2022 22:22

Chill out love.

I hated it when younger but I've mellowed and don't mind it these days, there's much worse things to be called.

Mrsjayy · 17/03/2022 22:22

I hate darling but I'm OK with love or pet, round these parts it's Hen so you know it could be worse Grin do you find it to familiar and personal?

cormorantes · 17/03/2022 22:23

Fine if it is a stranger who is older than me, someone younger at work I would be extremely indignant and would challenge them.

ISpyCobraKai · 17/03/2022 22:24

I'm not a fan of it but if it's clear someone is just being friendly then I don't let it bother me.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 17/03/2022 22:25

Any bloke I'm not sleeping with who calls me darling will.be taking his teeth home in a bag.

I lost patience with this crap decades ago.

Zazdar · 17/03/2022 22:26

It doesn’t bother me.

TibetanTerrah · 17/03/2022 22:26

The only person who truly annoyed me doing this was an old manager. "Thanks babe" "you're welcome dahhhhhling" id reply. He had the nerve to pull me aside and "informally" tell me off for inappropriate language but soon shut up when I pointed out his hypocrisy. He did whine "i cant help it/i didn't think" first though Hmm

Ionlydomassiveones · 17/03/2022 22:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

TheSmallAssassin · 17/03/2022 22:28

For you to rage sing along to OP

Mrsjayy · 17/03/2022 22:31

Depends, like all language, on the intention behind it. If it’s said in the spirit of kindness I’m ok with it.

Yes this.

OwlinaTree · 17/03/2022 22:33

Could be worse. I called my boss love by mistake. We both pretended it never happened Blush

Sorbitol · 17/03/2022 22:34

I quite like it. It sounds affectionate and warm to me but I don't think anyone has ever used it in a patronising way towards me.

What I hate is "mate" (unless it's very obviously meant in a friendly way). It feels aggressive and intimidating.

Rosidesa · 17/03/2022 22:35

I hope you're not in Yorkshire! It just happens, people just call each love.

Mrsjayy · 17/03/2022 22:39

My aunty lived in Derbyshire for a while and it was Duck which I quite liked.

Original poster
Rosebel · 17/03/2022 22:43

Obviously I'm a miserable cow🤣. Thing is we have an elderly man who often comes in and always calls me love and I don't mind that.
When my manager who knows my name and is probably young enough to be my son says it, it gives me the rage.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 17/03/2022 22:47

.If you think they are condescending then of course its going to irritate you.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 17/03/2022 22:51

It brings out the worst in me - I gave the 12 year old serving me a very Hard Stare when she called me ‘darling’ and haven’t been back to that cafe since.

I particularly hate it in healthcare settings. - its patronising and infantilising, especially when the recipient is elderly. Hearing a carer call a retired GP ‘poppet’ in mum’s care home had me raging.

@Rosebel I am with you - miserable old cows together

ImAvingOops · 17/03/2022 22:53

I can't vote on this because neither view is unreasonable and how you feel is how you feel - no one can say that if it annoys you then you are wrong.
Personally I'm okay with it, I think it's friendly.

cobblers123 · 17/03/2022 23:14

I've been called variously over the years, love, flower, duck, hen and lovely, sometimes even by a woman. I'm OK with all of these.

I'm not keen on darling and loathe hun.

MiniDaffodils · 17/03/2022 23:16

I really like it - it’s friendly, lighthearted and caring.

MiniDaffodils · 17/03/2022 23:17

@cobblers123

I've been called variously over the years, love, flower, duck, hen and lovely, sometimes even by a woman. I'm OK with all of these.

I'm not keen on darling and loathe hun.

Just as often by women as by men in my own experience. 50:50
oioimatey · 17/03/2022 23:20

I quite like being called darlin'. Although most people call me, a female, by the name "mate" 😂

MayMorris · 17/03/2022 23:20

@Rosidesa

I hope you're not in Yorkshire! It just happens, people just call each love.
Yep this…but to be fair is luv
slimshady18 · 17/03/2022 23:21

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime

It brings out the worst in me - I gave the 12 year old serving me a very Hard Stare when she called me ‘darling’ and haven’t been back to that cafe since.

I particularly hate it in healthcare settings. - its patronising and infantilising, especially when the recipient is elderly. Hearing a carer call a retired GP ‘poppet’ in mum’s care home had me raging.

@Rosebel I am with you - miserable old cows together

that's actually just really rude of you
Juniper68 · 17/03/2022 23:24

Aw no pet sorry to hear that.

You'd have hated our waitress today she used them all. She looked like boy George which was nice.