To hate being called love, darling er

[Rosebel]

I hate it, unless it's my husband saying it. Never used to bother me but recently it really grates, especially if someone younger than me says it.
At work it's most irratating as we all have name badges and I feel like shouting just use my bloody name.
My manager is the worst for this but I've noticed the team leaders doing it too.
Am I just a miserable cow or do others find it annoying too?
YABU =it's fine
YANBU =its irratating and patronising

It wouldn't go down well in my workplace. I guess it depends on the local norms.

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime

It brings out the worst in me - I gave the 12 year old serving me a very Hard Stare when she called me ‘darling’ and haven’t been back to that cafe since.

I particularly hate it in healthcare settings. - its patronising and infantilising, especially when the recipient is elderly. Hearing a carer call a retired GP ‘poppet’ in mum’s care home had me raging.

@Rosebel I am with you - miserable old cows together

You are really really rude. “You alright, love?” is a friendly greeting.

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance

I'm shocked that so many people think this is okay?

It's sexist crap that should have gone out with the ark.

Even from another woman it annoys me. Along with calling me 'hun' or 'babe'.

If a manager constantly did this I'd be having words and suggesting they had some equality training!

Love and duck aren't sexist in their regions (Yorkshire and the East Midlands). They're used to men as well as women and just as frequently.

I'm not keen, but depends on the context. Don't like 'hun' 'babes'or 'sweets' from people either. Seems to be the female versions of love and darling.

I call my husband love,also my colleagues and the children in the school I work in.

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance

I'm shocked that so many people think this is okay?

It's sexist crap that should have gone out with the ark.

Even from another woman it annoys me. Along with calling me 'hun' or 'babe'.

If a manager constantly did this I'd be having words and suggesting they had some equality training!

I absolutely agree. But I think maybe it is regional? If anyone called me Hun I'd think they were joking.

I think it's totally inappropriate for a work colleague to be using such terms, especially those senior to you.

I don't like it, but accept it from delivery drivers etc. I hate it being yelled at me from building sites etc

I'd rather the terms aren't used, but outside of healthcare settings, I'd ignore it. You're taught appropriate language/behaviour during professional training, so there's no excuse for it.

It's awful, especially from a complete stranger serving in a shop. Patronising & disrespectful. What's wrong with calling customers 'sir' or 'madam'? Even using no name at all would be better than "endearments".

@MiniDaffodils

I really like it - it’s friendly, lighthearted and caring.

Me too.

I have been called all the names mentioned and it seems so outdated in this day and age. My dds would think it completely weird if a stranger called them darling or love.

I even had someone say “you alright my lover”. I laughed out loud at the time.

Here in Liverpool everyone uses those terms. I have grown up with it so barely notice and it doesn't bother me

I work in a supermarket with loads of random people working random shifts, I’ve taken to calling everyone male, female or otherwise “darling” - it saves trying to remember someone’s name at 3am

Depends.
Generally I do t mind. I have mellowed over tbe years and have found myself saying it to other people.
It is perfectly normal where I live.
The only time it has grated on me was when I was at a funeral and one of DS's classmates didn't recognize me and and said 'excuse me love'

I think context matters.
Someone being patronising will send me into a rage, someone being every day friendly and I don't have a problem.

Try working with someone who calls everyone love, face to face and during each telephone call. It's not professional and I feel like screaming.

I like it, always have as I see it as a term of endearment and in fact have started saying myself to others on the odd occasion too

I think it's lovely.

But each to their own.

Agree tone and intention is everything. I'm from a part of the country where 'love' and 'bab' were used as punctuation (including by men to men) and it just sounds friendly to my ears. Similarly, the ubiquitous London 'darlin' doesn't bother me when it is very clearly just part of someone's speech and they will say it to everyone.

However...I think we know when we're being patronised/minimised. I did a frontline public service job for decades and was regarded as somewhat old fashioned towards the end for referring to older people as Mr/Mrs/Miss until they gave me permission to use their first names. Words were had when a new and young colleague sprinkled ' dear' 'darling' etc throughout conversations with people old enough to be her great grandparents (interspersed with the odious 'bless you')

God I sound ancient

It depends who's saying it and the tone they use tbh, like anything. I was in pret yesterday and the guy behind the counter called every man 'boss' but just told the women to 'have a nice day' .. it annoyed me because maybe I want to be called boss too! Lol

I don’t mind it really, in shops or whatever, it’s just a lighthearted kindness.

But I wouldn’t like it at all in the workplace. It’s unprofessional. And I’ve noticed my boss calls the men ‘mate’ which draws a distinction between men and women. And I don’t like that at all. I’m trying to think of a tactful way to draw it to his attention because I very much doubt he’s doing it on purpose.

I thought it was a regional thing, having someone in a shop say 'here you are, love/pet', which is fine, but totally inappropriate in a workplace!

I don't mind at all. Even at work everyone is ' love, sweetie, sweetheart ' etc. My boss who is some 15 years younger than me, calls me love and I couldn't care less.
In my home country, everyone is ' bear ' no one gets anti about it.

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance

I'm shocked that so many people think this is okay?

It's sexist crap that should have gone out with the ark.

Even from another woman it annoys me. Along with calling me 'hun' or 'babe'.

If a manager constantly did this I'd be having words and suggesting they had some equality training!

Came to say this.

People arguing that it's just friendliness, I don't doubt the intention is positive, and I'm sure most people who use these terms don't intend to be patronising, but it doesn't change the fact that it ultimately stems from a sexist place.

If people want to argue that it's all about intent when it comes to words we use with people, that takes us into very questionable territory.

I love it. Darling, babe, sweetheart, love, often queen where I'm from. I take them in the spirit they're intended which has never been anything but warmth

South Wales and 'lovely' or 'my lovely' is quite common. 'Yes done that for you my lovely' or 'thanks lovely'.

It's said to men and women equally ime so not sexist. Just friendly, I like it.