To hate being called love, darling er

[Rosebel]

I hate it, unless it's my husband saying it. Never used to bother me but recently it really grates, especially if someone younger than me says it.
At work it's most irratating as we all have name badges and I feel like shouting just use my bloody name.
My manager is the worst for this but I've noticed the team leaders doing it too.
Am I just a miserable cow or do others find it annoying too?
YABU =it's fine
YANBU =its irratating and patronising

@LondonQueen

The delivery driver called me love and darling the other day, I'd had a terrible day and snapped at him, I did feel bad in the end but it really grates me, he apologised.

Poor bloke, you took your terrible day out on someone who probably earns minimum wage, has a stressful job and he might have had a terrible day himself for all you know, it’s so easy to punch down isn’t it, you should feel bad.

One thing I notice on these threads is no one challenges their manager or supervisor when they use this language but are perfectly happy to give short shrift to delivery drivers, bar staff etc.

People arguing that it's just friendliness, I don't doubt the intention is positive, and I'm sure most people who use these terms don't intend to be patronising, but it doesn't change the fact that it ultimately stems from a sexist place

There are bigger fish to fry

It's sexist crap that should have gone out with the ark.

It's not though. Lots of these terms are a friendly term used for men and women..... love / duck / pet / flower (doesn't seem to have been mentioned so far, but is another common one). For great swathes of the country these are just friendly terms to address someone whose name you don't know. Nothing sexist about it.

@Kite22

It's sexist crap that should have gone out with the ark.

It's not though. Lots of these terms are a friendly term used for men and women..... love / duck / pet / flower (doesn't seem to have been mentioned so far, but is another common one). For great swathes of the country these are just friendly terms to address someone whose name you don't know. Nothing sexist about it.

Absolutely. Where I live, it's not common usage so, depending on context, I often find it patronising or over sentimental.

But when I go back to where I grew up, or where my in-laws lived in Yorkshire, I love it. There's absolutely nothing sexist or patronising in the way love and duck are used, and I feel bathed in warmth from strangers.

People are so easily offended these days.

but it doesn't change the fact that it ultimately stems from a sexist place
I'm baffled by all this.
So as a female when I call another female who is the same age bracket as me ' love ' ' darling's and all the other sentiments I use, I'm being sexist? And they are to me as well?
🤔

Don’t mind those but hate “hun”. Even worse is the unprofessional colleague who calls people “babes”. Cannot bear it.

I am guilty of the "love" and "sweetheart" thing. I was brought up in North London and it was what everyone called each other. I live in the north Midlands now and everyone here calls each other duck. I got an absolute arse kicking from a manager in a call centre I worked in for it. He wasn't too please when I pointed out the double standards. He tried to use the excuse that it is a colloquialism to which I pointed out so was love and sweetheart. Therefore if one was permitted and the other not it could be seen as discrimination against me for my background. He shut up and never mentioned it again.

I work in an industry where building customer relationships happens in seconds (nothing pervy) and it is fairly easy to tell straight away who you can talk to with those sorts of words and who isn't.

You can't help bot liking it but they equally probably can't help doing it so I think you just need to live and let live. It genuinely isn't worth the effort of raging about it.

@Moonface123

People are so easily offended these days.

Lol I'm not offended by it. I said it's annoying and I don't like it, not that I was offended. Seriously my manager does it with every other sentence. I feel like asking him if hge actually knows my name

You’re just a miserable cow.

I'm a massive hypocrite in this. I work in a school, and I call every single kid, from the tiny little 3yos in nursery right up to the technically-adult 18yos (and also a small number of the staff, but definitely not all of them) "love". But I hate it if men call me darling! I think a) it feels like they're taking the piss, because I'm quite clearly not their darling, and b) I know they wouldn't say it to a man.

It doesn’t bother me

I find its said in a friendly manner more often than not.