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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being called love, darling er

88 replies

Rosebel · 17/03/2022 22:18

I hate it, unless it's my husband saying it. Never used to bother me but recently it really grates, especially if someone younger than me says it.
At work it's most irratating as we all have name badges and I feel like shouting just use my bloody name.
My manager is the worst for this but I've noticed the team leaders doing it too.
Am I just a miserable cow or do others find it annoying too?
YABU =it's fine
YANBU =its irratating and patronising

OP posts:
LondonQueen · 17/03/2022 23:26

The delivery driver called me love and darling the other day, I'd had a terrible day and snapped at him, I did feel bad in the end but it really grates me, he apologised.

MrsSugar · 17/03/2022 23:27

I don’t really care ! Could be called a lot worse than love/darling etc. I tend to get pal quite a lot which is quite odd as I would say that to a child !

maras2 · 17/03/2022 23:27

Guess where I'm from.
Term of endearment is 'bab'. Grin

5zeds · 17/03/2022 23:30

Goodness, don’t move to the SW, here they call you “my lover”.

Kite22 · 17/03/2022 23:34

Because of the way you have worded the question in the OP, I voted YABU, although, of course, if it annoys ^you6 then it annoys you, and YANBU to be annoyed by something just because it doesn't bother other people.

Depends, like all language, on the intention behind it. If it’s said in the spirit of kindness I’m ok with it.

I agree with this. It is all about the tone and the intention behind it.

I think your later post (can't copy and paste again as it is on prev page) makes a difference and would have got a different answer from me if you had asked the question about a colleague, or manager calling you love, or darling.

floppybit · 17/03/2022 23:56

I really like it. I live in a Northern city and everyone calls you love and darling, particularly women, and I find it really endearing

CounsellorTroi · 18/03/2022 00:14

I was once called “my pet” by a lovely female security officer at Edinburgh airport and I liked it.

SushiShopSearch · 18/03/2022 00:17

It's awful. I was recently called "sweetie" in a cafe by a late teen/early twenty year old female. I called her "sweetie" back.

She looked surprised.

onemorerose · 18/03/2022 00:26

I’m not overly bothered by it unless it’s in the the workplace. If an older person not managerial over me that’s fine. Younger person and/or managerial I don’t like it.

MangyInseam · 18/03/2022 00:29

You can feel how you like about it, but these kinds of terms are a normal part of speech, moreso in some groups than others. So, barring people actually being patronizing or nasty, you kind of have to live with it, just like other figures of speech you might not like others using.

saraclara · 18/03/2022 00:29

In real life I'm fine with it. But I HATE it with a passion on here. When posters who don't know the OP from Adam respond with "Oh my love..." or "Oh my darling..." I want to puke.

MangyInseam · 18/03/2022 00:32

I tend to agree that workplaces can be more difficult, but even then it's not straightforward. Some are much more casual than others, and some people would struggle to change their speech patterns and dialect too and it hardly seems worth it for them to bother.

RobertsRadio · 18/03/2022 00:32

I hate being called "mate". The rest I really don't mind.

LovePoppy · 18/03/2022 00:33

I hate it

It’s not friendly

It’s patronizing as shit. Especially if it’s a man

silentpool · 18/03/2022 00:46

I am always puzzled when women who are younger than me, call me darling.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 18/03/2022 01:06

I don't mind love from women or an older man exchanging pleasantries.

I've lived in places where it is very common.

Darling irritates me.

RedHelenB · 18/03/2022 02:29

@Rosidesa

I hope you're not in Yorkshire! It just happens, people just call each love.
This.
balalake · 18/03/2022 06:59

If your name is visible or known, then reasonable to expect to be called by it. If it is someone in a shop and all people seem to be referred to as such, no issue as I see it.

SallyWD · 18/03/2022 07:04

I live in Yorkshire and everyone's called love. Men, women everyone. I really like it. It's affectionate and kind the way its said here.

romdowa · 18/03/2022 07:11

Babe is the one that grinds my gears! I am not a talking pig 😑😑😑 where I live though its usually just girl or hun.

Chasingaftermidnight · 18/03/2022 07:14

I’m generally fine with women doing it, especially older ones, but not men.

namechangeanonymous · 18/03/2022 07:43

When businesses call me 'babe' .... title lines on emails from certain shops calling me babe, hairdressers 'what are we doing today babe' STOP IT.

LaMarschallin · 18/03/2022 07:56

When I moved to the area where I now live, I assumed for a few weeks that people were calling me "Doc" (seemed reasonable; I was a doctor). Turned out they were saying "Duck" Smile
Recently "Duck" has turned into "Shoog" (short, I assume, for "Sugar").
Can't say I mind either but didn't like a male, younger-than-me shop assistant calling me "dear". It made me feel old (I'm in my 50s) in a way that "Duck" or "Shoog" don't 🤷‍♀️

abigailsnan · 18/03/2022 07:59

I'd much rather be served with a pleasantry of here you are sweetie than here you are any day of the week I think its a term of endearment depending what part of the Country you live in I love the terms used in the NE I could listen to them all day.

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 18/03/2022 08:01

I'm shocked that so many people think this is okay?

It's sexist crap that should have gone out with the ark.

Even from another woman it annoys me. Along with calling me 'hun' or 'babe'.

If a manager constantly did this I'd be having words and suggesting they had some equality training!