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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed with the school re trip

311 replies

pisspants · 17/03/2022 08:14

I understand schools and teachers are busy and that it is great they have tried to organise a trip. I am upset on behalf of my dc though. There's an upcoming trip, details of which went out in one email over a month ago, with no further mentions or reminders about it. This week a follow up email went out regarding more details about what to wear for the trip etc which was the first I knew of the trip. I checked the online payment system and was no sign of it on there so called the school and they say the deadline has passed as the bus needed to know numbers etc a while back so my dc will have to miss the trip. I appreciate I missed one email which was sent in the middle of the day whilst I was working so didnt see it. It then got buried amongst all the crappy emails I get every day from everywhere I've ever bought anything from. Because of that my DC now misses the educational trip that almost the whole year is going on? I know I dropped a ball by not seeing the email but I would have expected a follow up email as a reminder of a payment deadline or something at the least?

OP posts:
Porcupineintherough · 17/03/2022 18:00

I do not think YABU. Schools shouldn't have to chase and chase parents but I'd expect a reminder email.

Beautiful3 · 17/03/2022 18:41

Hmm if all the other parents managed to see the same email and sort things then I do think you're being unreasonable. Schools aren't going to keep sending out reminders. Whenever I get emails I now put them straight onto the calendar, otherwise I do forget.

Moody123 · 17/03/2022 20:08

@pisspants

Yeah I really don't understand it when is whole year whole school. Father not involved at all I am single parent so all falls on me. Not an excuse but have a lot of organisational shit to deal with for self, plus 2 DCs and their various activities etc. Anyway, lesson learnt. I have 49000 emails in my inbox. Had not heard of unroll me, sounds like a game changer! Otherwise will take me hours and hours to unsubscribe and delete everything in there
Oh I would love to organise your inbox ... I wonder if that's a profession !
Original poster
pisspants · 17/03/2022 20:24

@Moody123 oh my god I would totally take up that type of service!

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 17/03/2022 21:12

@TheYearOfSmallThings

All you had to do was keep track of a few messages from your child’s school.

And of course do her job, which is probably just as complex and demanding as the teacher's job.

Ha, this reply reminds me of my SIL many years ago, hitting the roof because she hadn't known about something that was on a letter her 5year old hadn't given her! SIL's view was than the class teacher should check all 30+ bags on Monday morning for ungiven letters, then contact these parents, her Mother, an ex-teacher, suggested that she, as the mother, should check the 1 bag on Friday afternoon!
JudgeJ · 17/03/2022 21:16

@ThePrincessSleptFor100Years

Jesus.

Ok so it’s the OP’s oversight.

Do we need to be utter dicks about it?

Is there any need for the OP to try and blame the school for her own inefficiency?
HiJenny35 · 17/03/2022 21:50

Don't use un roll me, it's relatively dodgy, downloads your details etc have a Google and you can find others considered safer or unsubscribe as they come through but that is more time consuming.

jytdtysrht · 17/03/2022 22:09

It was an oversight, very easy to make in this world of relentless electronic clutter. Since it's a day trip and educational, they should have sent a chaser - because presumably they'll now have to supervise him at school on that day? Really though, do you think the bus is full to the last place. Bizarrely coincidental if so.

Whatsmyname100 · 17/03/2022 22:16

@Alwayscheerful

Set the school emails to play a fanfare on your phone when an email from school lands in your in box . You can choose the sound Harp Air raid Siren Fairground music

You choose .. maybe a school bell sound

Please tell me how to do this?
Whatsmyname100 · 17/03/2022 22:18

I actually don't think yabu op. Our school usually sends out a few reminders with such events. We also have a weekly newsletter which summarizes the week at school and what's happening during that month, which is very useful. I'm wondering as it was a limited space type of trip they felt that they didn't need to send out reminders as the spots would be filled in any case.

Sherrystrull · 18/03/2022 07:04

@TheYearOfSmallThings

All you had to do was keep track of a few messages from your child’s school.

And of course do her job, which is probably just as complex and demanding as the teacher's job.

Errr teachers also have to keep track of their children's school correspondence. Why the competition?
TheYearOfSmallThings · 18/03/2022 08:19

Errr teachers also have to keep track of their children's school correspondence. Why the competition?

No competition from me. My comment I was responding to the suggestion that teachers are busy whereas parents have nothing else to do but "keep track of a few emails from school". Choosing to overlook the fact that most parents are not sitting at home all day, but have jobs equally demanding.

Xpologog · 18/03/2022 08:24

Use a separate email just for school.

LaChanticleer · 18/03/2022 08:35

I have an extremely demanding job. I work a good 10 hour day. My personal email inbox gets a load of junk mail from online shops I’ve used etc etc.

It takes me maybe 2 minutes each morning to scroll through and delete them, so as to leave the emails I actually want or need to read.

It’s really not rocket science or even difficult!

balalake · 18/03/2022 08:56

If you are getting junk emails from people you have bought from in the past, unsubscribe. Reduce the number of emails you get, and then the chances of missing something are greatly reduced.

Or the separate email address for school matters as suggested.

Snazzyjazzpants · 18/03/2022 09:04

I find it astonishing that all families bar you replied in time to the one email. Are you sure the whole year level is going.
It normally takes at least 2-3 reminders to get even close to 100%.
I'd check that it really is the whole year level going.

Sherrystrull · 18/03/2022 09:05

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Errr teachers also have to keep track of their children's school correspondence. Why the competition?

No competition from me. My comment I was responding to the suggestion that teachers are busy whereas parents have nothing else to do but "keep track of a few emails from school". Choosing to overlook the fact that most parents are not sitting at home all day, but have jobs equally demanding.

Who suggested that?
Blueroses99 · 18/03/2022 09:07

On an iPhone, if you click on the email sender it opens up a contact card and it gives the option to “Add to VIP” so any email from that sender is highlighted with a star. Other phones/email services may have similar options.

Sherrystrull · 18/03/2022 09:10

Ah I've seen it.

I don't think that was what they meant.

Obviously they know you have more to do than just keep track of emails or no one would eat, or have clean clothes etc.

What jobs other people do are largely irrelevant. Everyone with a child has the job to keep track of correspondence from school no matter what their situation or job.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 18/03/2022 09:17

What jobs other people do are largely irrelevant.

No, I don't think it is irrelevant. The post I was responding to gave a long list of things that teachers do (as part of their job) and then said "all" parents have to do is keep track of a few emails. Which is an invalid comparison, because it ignores the fact that the parents have an equally long list of things to do each day in their job.

AhhhHereItGoes · 18/03/2022 09:47

Luckily we have the class WhatsApp group to remind us as everyone asks about when x trip or y day is.

YANBU to feel frustrated but YABU to blame the school.

DisappearingGirl · 18/03/2022 09:59

Ah I really feel for you OP. When it is just one email, via a faffy log-on, it is so easy to miss. Really feel for you and your DC!

Agree with advice to get DC on the waiting list and promise to take them somewhere at weekend instead.

I think it's quite mean everybody sticking the boot in. It sounds like OP is usually quite organised and just missed this one email. Easy to do.

SummerHouse · 18/03/2022 10:06

I think this is bad practice from the school. Yes, it's not thier job to chase parents but one reminder is a fair expectation. After all it's not the parent who misses out, it's the child. An initial email and one reminder is a fair compromise in my view.

budgiegirl · 18/03/2022 10:31

I think this is bad practice from the school. Yes, it's not thier job to chase parents but one reminder is a fair expectation

I think it would be nice if they did send a reminder, but it's not really fair to expect it. My DDs school never send reminders - in fact this thread has reminded me to sign up and pay for a trip that my DD is going on next week. One email was sent about this, no reminders.

I think it's unfair to suggest that reminders should be sent because parents are busy people. So are teachers. At the end of the day, it's the parents who are responsible for sending back any admin that the school needs. Parents who don't just create more work for the teachers if they have to chase up for forms/payment etc.

Belladonna12 · 18/03/2022 10:41

@budgiegirl

I think this is bad practice from the school. Yes, it's not thier job to chase parents but one reminder is a fair expectation

I think it would be nice if they did send a reminder, but it's not really fair to expect it. My DDs school never send reminders - in fact this thread has reminded me to sign up and pay for a trip that my DD is going on next week. One email was sent about this, no reminders.

I think it's unfair to suggest that reminders should be sent because parents are busy people. So are teachers. At the end of the day, it's the parents who are responsible for sending back any admin that the school needs. Parents who don't just create more work for the teachers if they have to chase up for forms/payment etc.

I don't think it's a huge effort to send an e mail reminder. My children were at primary school in the days before everyone had email and even then they used to manage to remind people (generally by hassling the children and also putting it in in newsletters repeatedly). It maybe the parent's responsibility but as the children will suffer the consequences and it's not their fault, I think schools could make an effort to cut and paste and press send a second time. The majority do.