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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed with the school re trip

311 replies

pisspants · 17/03/2022 08:14

I understand schools and teachers are busy and that it is great they have tried to organise a trip. I am upset on behalf of my dc though. There's an upcoming trip, details of which went out in one email over a month ago, with no further mentions or reminders about it. This week a follow up email went out regarding more details about what to wear for the trip etc which was the first I knew of the trip. I checked the online payment system and was no sign of it on there so called the school and they say the deadline has passed as the bus needed to know numbers etc a while back so my dc will have to miss the trip. I appreciate I missed one email which was sent in the middle of the day whilst I was working so didnt see it. It then got buried amongst all the crappy emails I get every day from everywhere I've ever bought anything from. Because of that my DC now misses the educational trip that almost the whole year is going on? I know I dropped a ball by not seeing the email but I would have expected a follow up email as a reminder of a payment deadline or something at the least?

OP posts:
rainbowshows · 19/03/2022 17:13

My child is 3 and came home from nursery and told me she is going on a trip (I'd already had a letter and email). Why didn't your son even mention it?

budgiegirl · 19/03/2022 17:55

Why didn't your son even mention it?

Sometimes kids just don't. Regardless of age. It was always a crap shoot with my kids as to whether they would tell me about things they were doing at school. My youngest is 16, and still doesn't always tell me what they are doing until the day before! Luckily by now I've drilled into her that I need more than 12 hours notice if she is cooking the following day!

surreygirl1987 · 19/03/2022 21:15

@kittensinthekitchen well I laughed anyway.

@hutchy16 I'm a teacher myself, often organise school trips, and I find the attitude of 'it doesn't take long to phone the parent' incredibly frustrating. The parent has a lot on their plate? Sure! But so do I! I work around 70 hours a week as it is, and parents just expect more and more and more. I read a piece of research the other day that said that on average, teachers have around 6 minutes to plan, resource and mark work for each lesson they teach (this is in secondary school) in their PPA periods (secondary). Obviously a ridiculous workload, and what keeps teachers routinely working evenings and weekends. But still, we get people moaning at us for not doing enough - apparently we are supposed to help the parents with their lack of organisation too 🙄

I have kids myself and I wouldn't dream of expecting the school to chase me if I was disorganised. And I'm far from the 'perfect' parent, but if the school has sent me some sort of communication and I have missed it, that's my own fault.

Hutchy16 · 19/03/2022 21:49

@surreygirl1987

I 💯 agree that a secondary school shouldn’t have to chase up. Just mentioning it to the kids in school at the beginning or end of lesson should be enough…if they want to go they will prompt their parents on the off chance they have forgotten.

I was considering it from a primary school perspective, where my understanding is that it is one or two parents once or twice a year. I can’t believe for one minute that a primary school teacher would want to see a young child (with whom they spend all day, every week day) face the disappointment of missing out on a trip.

I totally 💯 agree that parents are the ones that should responsible, but my point is two-fold:

  1. sometimes we forget things…people on this site seem to like to flog those parents who make the tiniest mistake
  2. the school do have a responsibility to the child also, from an inclusion and welfare perspective, to pop a reminder letter in a bag, or a super quick call to a parent - I’m not saying they are required to do it, I just think that they should do it…I would rather lose a couple of minutes from my day than see a child miss out
Hutchy16 · 19/03/2022 21:52

Just a tiny extra note…

I don’t think a child should lose out because of my screw up, it’s not their fault. My son’s previous school would have just grabbed the parent when they picked up their child since they don’t send them off until they see the parent anyway

surreygirl1987 · 19/03/2022 23:36

sometimes we forget things…people on this site seem to like to flog those parents who make the tiniest mistake
... but not flog the teacher/school? I think we need to remember that this thread was written by a parent blaming the school for her own mistake!

pop a reminder letter in a bag, or a super quick call to a parent - I’m not saying they are required to do it, I just think that they should do it…I would rather lose a couple of minutes from my day than see a child miss out
Jeez. If there's any evidence that you really don't get it, here it is. I didn't even have time to finish my lunch or go to the loo on Friday.

Just mentioning it to the kids in school at the beginning or end of lesson should be enough…if they want to go they will prompt their parents on the off chance they have forgotten.
How do you know that that didn't happen??

LaChanticleer · 20/03/2022 07:07

Are you a teacher @Hutchy16 ???

Caiti19 · 20/03/2022 08:52

Our school sends all important information like this via text - usually one announcement and one reminder. E-mail is not reliable with webmail spam filters randomly quarantining legitimate e-mails. Our school would not exclude a child in this way. Usually there is a permission slip and they only do headcount after they have received all slips - both "I want DC to attend" and "I do NOT want DC to attend" slips. YANBU in my opinion.

Abraxan · 20/03/2022 08:58

Unless this was a leisure type trip that isn't linked to the curriculum I'm very surprised that school hasn't reminded you at least once. Though again that's likely to be via email and/or reminder via child, depending on age.

I am also surprised your child hasn't mentioned it.

Is the trip linked to the curriculum and part of their school work?

Can you offer to drop and collect child if the bus is the issue? Or is it too far away?

You can arrange your emails so that 'favourite' senders are flagged, which might be worth doing for the future.

ChiaraRimini · 20/03/2022 08:59

YANBU op, our school send loads of emails most of which are not relevant or important, or they send the actual info in a letter attached to the email with a meaningless title like "letter from the Headteacher". You can bet that the one email you miss will be an important one. Having said that there is usually someone off sick on the day of a trip could they not put you on a waiting list?

Abraxan · 20/03/2022 09:03

@HoppingPavlova

Was there not a paper permission slip form to sign as well that would have flagged all this information, payment and due dates as well? Very unusual not to have to sign a form for a school trip.
We rarely send out paper copies anymore.. We only send paper copies to those parents who have refused to sign up for email correspondence. That was very much pre covid and linked to reducing paper waste several years ago.
Sherrystrull · 20/03/2022 09:12

[quote Belladonna12]**@kittensinthekitchen they don't need to do all that. There's no need to to work out who hasn't hasn't consented and why. All that is required is to send an e mail reminder to everyone and ask those that can't afford it to contact the school fill in a form. Stop trying to make it sound more complicated than it is.[/quote]
But the op missed an email. That wouldn't work.

Belladonna12 · 20/03/2022 09:33

@implantreplace

This thread very clearly distinguishes two types of people

Those that own their mistakes
Those that flail around looking for others to blame

OP is the person who has made a mistake not other posters. Why would the posters who agree that the school could have sent out out more than one email be "failing around looking for someone else to blame".
Belladonna12 · 20/03/2022 09:36

But the op missed an email. That wouldn't work.

Just because she missed one email it doesn't mean she misses all emails!Hmm

Dutchesss · 20/03/2022 09:41

Can you book them onto the activity yourself and arrange their own transport? Not quite the same but less missing out. There will probably be at least one child ill on the day so it's likely a space will come up on the bus.

Sherrystrull · 20/03/2022 09:49

@Belladonna12

But the op missed an email. That wouldn't work.

Just because she missed one email it doesn't mean she misses all emails!Hmm

Right. Because it's clearly working for her...

Op- I can't keep track of emails
Suggestion - the school should just send more emails.

BustopherPonsonbyJones · 20/03/2022 10:19

I organise school trips and other events. You can’t win as some parents don’t feel there is enough communication whilst some think there is too much. If people don’t reply after a letter, email and notice in the newsletter, it’s their problem. I’m not judging but neither do I have the time or inclination to offer a bespoke service to those who haven’t replied. I am inclined to be disorganised myself but would never dream of blaming others when I miss appointments - and they often send one message and charge when I forget.

Perhaps the best option is to stop offering school trips and encourage parents to take their children on visits at the weekend and in the holidays? It would give them a chance for some quality family time after two years of being stuck at home! From experience, I know this won’t happen for 85% of children though. Really, there should be a whole lot of gratitude for the extra time and effort that running a school trip takes staff as there is no extra payment for running them, and our lives would be a lot easier if we didn’t.

Belladonna12 · 20/03/2022 10:39

Right. Because it's clearly working for her...

Op- I can't keep track of emails
Suggestion - the school should just send more emails.

She said that she had missed one e mail. Unless she specifically said that she can't keep track of any emails, I think you are extrapolating and making assumptions.

Sherrystrull · 20/03/2022 10:49

The op said she gets tons of crappy emails and it got lost in the middle. That's clearly an email issue.

Sending more emails won't fix this. She needs to sort out her emails and have a better system.

Belladonna12 · 20/03/2022 10:58

@Sherrystrull

The op said she gets tons of crappy emails and it got lost in the middle. That's clearly an email issue.

Sending more emails won't fix this. She needs to sort out her emails and have a better system.

I disagree. I get 50 to 100 emails a day for work and unfortunately the algorithm the IT systems use occasionally puts one incorrectly into the junk folder. I'm not aware that I have ever missed a school one but I can see how it could happen. It's unlikely I would miss a second one too though.
Belladonna12 · 20/03/2022 11:10

@Sherrystrull

The op said she gets tons of crappy emails and it got lost in the middle. That's clearly an email issue.

Sending more emails won't fix this. She needs to sort out her emails and have a better system.

The fact she saw the follow up email demonstrates that she doesn't miss all emails.
Sherrystrull · 20/03/2022 11:20

Sigh, she missed any important one so clearly her system isn't working. Whether she misses them all or just missed one is irrelevant. Changes are needed.

SmellyWellyWoo · 20/03/2022 11:24

Due to my job my mobile stays switched off 40 hours a week but I still manage to keep on top of school emails. Only takes 10 mins a day to check and sort out my personal emails. It's your own fault, sorry OP.

Sharrowgirl · 20/03/2022 11:28

Honestly, set aside half an hour and go through your inbox and click ‘unsubscribe’ on all those marketing emails. It’ll change your life.

BritInUS1 · 20/03/2022 11:31

YABU to expect the school to keep chasing, there are filters, etc that you can put on your inbox, unsubscribe from everything you can, etc

You could also set up a separate email just for the school and have it on your phone or something

Regarding the trip, can you ask that your son be on the cancellation list? There is bound to be somebody who is sick and can't make it