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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disappointed with the school re trip

311 replies

pisspants · 17/03/2022 08:14

I understand schools and teachers are busy and that it is great they have tried to organise a trip. I am upset on behalf of my dc though. There's an upcoming trip, details of which went out in one email over a month ago, with no further mentions or reminders about it. This week a follow up email went out regarding more details about what to wear for the trip etc which was the first I knew of the trip. I checked the online payment system and was no sign of it on there so called the school and they say the deadline has passed as the bus needed to know numbers etc a while back so my dc will have to miss the trip. I appreciate I missed one email which was sent in the middle of the day whilst I was working so didnt see it. It then got buried amongst all the crappy emails I get every day from everywhere I've ever bought anything from. Because of that my DC now misses the educational trip that almost the whole year is going on? I know I dropped a ball by not seeing the email but I would have expected a follow up email as a reminder of a payment deadline or something at the least?

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/03/2022 09:37

Oh it's tough, OP - we all drop something sooner or later, and we just have to hope it's "dress like a reptile" day or "bring your toothbrush to school" day rather than something good.

So much communication and reminding takes place at drop off and pick-up, and if your DC is in breakfast club and teatime club you miss it. If it weren't for the class WhatsApp group I would be dropping plates every week.

implantreplace · 17/03/2022 09:40

@pisspants

there isnt a wait list as such, I just asked for a place if someone can no longer go if ill etc. Its a whole year, whole day educational trip.
So obviously highly popular and filled quickly As not enough spaces for children from the outset So there wasn’t any need to send a reminder as all available places filled quickly
Branleuse · 17/03/2022 09:40

I think id go into the office and be really nice about it and ask if theres any way we can speak to the bus company about an extra. Also find out what the others who arent going will be doing that day, as maybe you could do something nice that day instead if the rest of them will be mostly babysat rather than taught that day if at school

Bromse · 17/03/2022 09:42

The chances are there will be at least one pupil who, on the day, cannot go on the trip due to illness or something, so make sure your daughter is prepared and ask the school to put her name on the 'reserve' list.

However first make sure she actually wants to go on the trip. She might prefer a day at home but wouldn't necessarily say so.

Oneonetheracehorse · 17/03/2022 09:45

@pisspants also, just wanted to say, as usual there are some posters giving you a hard time over a relatively minor matter that you understandably wanted to have a bit of a vent about.
I'm sure everyone has missed something or got it wrong at some point, even those with perfectly filtered inboxes.
Hopefully your school is understanding and will try to help or at least make you feel better about it!

sorryforswearing · 17/03/2022 09:48

It’s not the school’s job to chase you but at my school we would have done. Having to chase parents is irritating but we’d never have let a child miss out because a parent hadn’t responded. Also even the most reliable of us can make an error. Having said that we would remind generally by text, phone call, notice in class window and catching parents/ caters at home time. I’d feel awful if a child had missed out because it hadn’t been followed up. Unless it was the class pain of course. (Only joking).

Blossom64265 · 17/03/2022 09:48

For the future, I really recommend having an email address that is only used for child related communication from the school and doctor. I have that email alert on my phone when a message comes in. It’s completely separate from the onslaught of messages that come into my generic account.

sorryforswearing · 17/03/2022 09:48

carers

sashh · 17/03/2022 09:54

Does your DC want to go?

I was brought up in the day children had to tell parents about a trip.

If there were not other emails surely it has been discussed in the school?

Hankunamatata · 17/03/2022 09:54

How old is dc? If teens then I would expect my teen to tell me

viques · 17/03/2022 09:56

“It is great they have triedto organise a trip”

They have organised a trip.

They have negotiated with the school office, checked that no timetable clashes exist.

They have researched and booked the destination and read and re read its H and S policies, double checked for potential hazards and accessibility, checked that there is somewhere to eat lunch, go to the toilet, have a run round. Worked out the finances and a contingency plan to cover non payers, non attendees, wet weather.

Booked the coach from an approved company. double checked timings, parking, accessibility.

Drawn up a school risk assessment sheet pertinent to that venue and all activities. Had this signed off by the school.

Checked that children with medical needs are catered for, that children needing 1-1 are covered. Made sure first aid equipment is available and a first aided is included in the group.arranged for additional adults as required.

Planned the day / activities / groups/ equipment if required.

Found the sick buckets, paper towels, wet wipes and bin liners.

Informed school catering that fsm packed lunches will be needed for x children but that xx children will not need catering for.

Sent out initial letters.

Sent out information letters

Checked payment and permission slips, negotiated reduced payment for some children, checked that PP childrens payment is covered.

Sent final letter explaining on the day arrangements re clothing, timing, packed lunch etc.

Taken many deep breaths because taking responsibility for other peoples children on a trip is unbelievably stressful, but usually worth the effort and a sleepless night.

Flowers for teachers organising trips.

All you had to do was keep track of a few messages from your child’s school.

Hankunamatata · 17/03/2022 09:56

Iv set up an email account just for school emails as having kids in different schools I drop the ball too much

maddy68 · 17/03/2022 09:57

Yabu
You missed it.

Brefugee · 17/03/2022 09:58

use different email accounts for different things. I use one for shopping/sign ups and one for actual correspondence. Then if you get important mails in the shopping one - just fwd them to the other.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/03/2022 10:01

@pisspants

there isnt a wait list as such, I just asked for a place if someone can no longer go if ill etc. Its a whole year, whole day educational trip.
If whole year then why havnt they made sure enough coach places

Who will be looking after your child at school if all year and teachers are on the trip

Yes you should have seen the email

But equally we get sent a weekly email newsletter of info by email /parents mail

We have a wats app group so usually someone if of the 30 parents will mention something that they’ve read , usually me lol

It’s amazing how many don’t actually read the parent mail or miss info

kittensinthekitchen · 17/03/2022 10:03

Well said @viques

But they can't possibly know what it's like to have a busy and important job like some of the parents have Wink

diddl · 17/03/2022 10:07

How can it be a whole year trip if there aren't enough places for everyone?

JaninaDuszejko · 17/03/2022 10:08

I wish organisations like schools and sports clubs would massively reduce their mass mailings and set up targetted year group (or squad or team) message groups. And stop putting some important things in emails and some on the app (fine if everything on both or the important stuff is only in one place). If my employer can reduce the number of emails we all get by using targetted mailing lists why the hell won't the schools. I really don't give a fuck if Y3 won a competition if my child is in Y5. Put a newsletter on the website or FB, don't send me an email every week with a 2 or 3 page newsletter in tiny print I have to trail through in case there is 1 bit of relevant information in among the 'yay, we won the town swimming competition' type announcements. Also, if we have to apply for a trip or after school activity send out the message and give us a reasonable deadline (not 3 hours after you sent out an email at 9 am as they did on one occasion, I complained about that one). Oh, and don't send out messages on a Tuesday telling me I need a spotty yellow tshirt for my child on Thursday. It's like the schools (primary in particular) assume that there is a parent at home on standby ready to respond as soon as the school commands.

I think the OP is getting a hard time. We all drop the baton sometimes, and the busier your life is the more likely it is to happen. We've had a child miss out on a trip because we didn't return the form quickly enough, these things happen but it's really not the end of the world although I understand your DC will be upset.

cranberryhaddock · 17/03/2022 10:11

YABU. It's not the school's job to manage your inbox.

NinaDefoe · 17/03/2022 10:11

@viques

“It is great they have triedto organise a trip”

They have organised a trip.

They have negotiated with the school office, checked that no timetable clashes exist.

They have researched and booked the destination and read and re read its H and S policies, double checked for potential hazards and accessibility, checked that there is somewhere to eat lunch, go to the toilet, have a run round. Worked out the finances and a contingency plan to cover non payers, non attendees, wet weather.

Booked the coach from an approved company. double checked timings, parking, accessibility.

Drawn up a school risk assessment sheet pertinent to that venue and all activities. Had this signed off by the school.

Checked that children with medical needs are catered for, that children needing 1-1 are covered. Made sure first aid equipment is available and a first aided is included in the group.arranged for additional adults as required.

Planned the day / activities / groups/ equipment if required.

Found the sick buckets, paper towels, wet wipes and bin liners.

Informed school catering that fsm packed lunches will be needed for x children but that xx children will not need catering for.

Sent out initial letters.

Sent out information letters

Checked payment and permission slips, negotiated reduced payment for some children, checked that PP childrens payment is covered.

Sent final letter explaining on the day arrangements re clothing, timing, packed lunch etc.

Taken many deep breaths because taking responsibility for other peoples children on a trip is unbelievably stressful, but usually worth the effort and a sleepless night.

Flowers for teachers organising trips.

All you had to do was keep track of a few messages from your child’s school.

Ah yes but the lost email was sent out to parents in the middle of the day. The OP was at work.

Teachers need to make sure that emails are sent out at a less inconvenient time.

I’m joking btw.

VickyEadieofThigh · 17/03/2022 10:12

Did the child know nothing about it? Did they not ask you if they could go? When they talked to you about it, didn't you chase it up?

MintyGreenDream · 17/03/2022 10:14

It's not the schools fault that you were disorganised yabu

VickyEadieofThigh · 17/03/2022 10:16

@Makeitsoso

If it's a state school and in school time then this isn't allowed. They are allowed to ask parents for contributions/the cost but they can't exclude children based on if they can pay. If the school can't raise the finds then they have to cancel the trip not exclude children.
You didn't read the OP properly, I think. It's not that she can't afford to pay.
lanthanum · 17/03/2022 10:16

If it's a curriculum-related trip they really should have chased up those who didn't return the form. Children should only really miss out on those if there's a really good reason, although obviously consent is needed.

Hopefully there will be a space and they will know in time to offer it - there's still enough covid going around that there may well be someone off.

kittensinthekitchen · 17/03/2022 10:17

. I really don't give a fuck if Y3 won a competition if my child is in Y5. Put a newsletter on the website or FB, don't send me an email every week with a 2 or 3 page newsletter in tiny print I have to trail through in case there is 1 bit of relevant information in among the 'yay, we won the town swimming competition' type announcements.

@JaninaDuszejko

I find that really sad, not to care about your wider school community Sad