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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed with the school re trip

311 replies

pisspants · 17/03/2022 08:14

I understand schools and teachers are busy and that it is great they have tried to organise a trip. I am upset on behalf of my dc though. There's an upcoming trip, details of which went out in one email over a month ago, with no further mentions or reminders about it. This week a follow up email went out regarding more details about what to wear for the trip etc which was the first I knew of the trip. I checked the online payment system and was no sign of it on there so called the school and they say the deadline has passed as the bus needed to know numbers etc a while back so my dc will have to miss the trip. I appreciate I missed one email which was sent in the middle of the day whilst I was working so didnt see it. It then got buried amongst all the crappy emails I get every day from everywhere I've ever bought anything from. Because of that my DC now misses the educational trip that almost the whole year is going on? I know I dropped a ball by not seeing the email but I would have expected a follow up email as a reminder of a payment deadline or something at the least?

OP posts:
EthelTheAardvark · 17/03/2022 09:03

It then got buried amongst all the crappy emails I get every day from everywhere I've ever bought anything from.

Unsubscribe from all their mailing lists. There's usually a link buried somewhere at the bottom of their emails.

SafelySoftly · 17/03/2022 09:04

YABU it sounds like all the other parents managed to organise themselves.

implantreplace · 17/03/2022 09:04

@pisspants

I have spoken to the school and asked to be on a wait list. I have 2 dc at 2 schools and combined 20 years of schooling at 3 different schools and this is a first. It was a very hectic week that the email was sent. I appreciate it's my fault mostly but when is a whole year thing I do think a reminder should have been sent. What's annoying is it's a generic email about a letter you then have to view on an app so makes it easier to miss. Anyway, is not the end of the world. Good to get the collective MN mind, I am less pissed off with the school now
There’s a waitlist

Meaning that the overwhelming majority did manage to sign and return in time

Odd that they set up a school trip from the outset knowing not sufficient places for all though

Theyellowflamingo · 17/03/2022 09:05

If this is an educational trip, in class time, I’m very surprised - my children’s school would just expect every child to be going (and payment is irrelevant, they can’t exclude a child for not paying). I’ve seen staff at pick up/drop off cornering parents with permission forms. It wouldn’t be something you “signed up for” and in fact you’d be expected to have a very solid reason for them not to go as if they don’t go school has to accommodate them on site eg in a different class and that’s a major pain.

If it’s an extra “fun” trip or something only ten children could go on then that’s slightly different.

Emails in the middle of the day though is surely normal- do you expect them to send stuff at midnight?!

implantreplace · 17/03/2022 09:06

@pisspants

I have spoken to the school and asked to be on a wait list. I have 2 dc at 2 schools and combined 20 years of schooling at 3 different schools and this is a first. It was a very hectic week that the email was sent. I appreciate it's my fault mostly but when is a whole year thing I do think a reminder should have been sent. What's annoying is it's a generic email about a letter you then have to view on an app so makes it easier to miss. Anyway, is not the end of the world. Good to get the collective MN mind, I am less pissed off with the school now
They didn’t need to send a reminder As had already filled all the places obviously I’d there is a waitlist now
mummyh2016 · 17/03/2022 09:06

With our school we would normally get reminders however we haven't recently and I think it's because they're trying to cram as much as possible in following 2 years of no trips/no parents into school etc. For example our school is inviting the moms in next Friday for a Mother's Day afternoon tea, DD came home with a letter in her bag last week. The deadline to pay was yesterday. We've had no other notification apart from that letter which I may not have seen if I hadn't gone through her bag. There will be people missing out, one of her friends has been off school for the last week poorly, I sent a screenshot of the letter to his mom so she has booked on but if I hadn't she would have missed out as she wouldn't have had the letter or received it too late.

Plumbear2 · 17/03/2022 09:06

I always check emails and apps linked to school every evening. Takes minutes and you don't miss anything.

Babadook76 · 17/03/2022 09:13

@Drywhitefruitycidergin

I'm shocked there was only one follow up email. We have endless reminders. Can you ask for your child to be put on a waitlist in case someone is ill on the day??
I think 2 emails notifying you of the trip is plenty. How many times does an adult need to be told? It would have gone in my calendar after I had received the first email. As the op hadn’t responded to either then I think it was safe for the school to assume she wasn’t interested. I’m sure all of the parents who did sign up to the trip got lots of extra emails with details etc as they were actually going
lemonnandliime · 17/03/2022 09:14

How old is the child and what kind of trip is it?

If it's primary school and curriculum/educational related I would push for your child to be able to go if there is a seat available and pay straight away. think schools should just expect that the whole class will be going and chase up parents who have missed the letter or not paid.

If it's upper primary school/secondary school and not particularly important or educational, or limited places then I'd just chalk it up to experience.

implantreplace · 17/03/2022 09:15

There clearly wasn’t enough spaces for kids
It was fist come first served

They would not NEEDED to have sent reminder because they filled al the spaces.

Hence the waitlist.

Quite simply - the OP missed the boat

Change123today · 17/03/2022 09:18

I’m really sorry but the school is not your PA - to send reminder emails etc. One of the biggest complaints our school office is amount of emails sent out to parents!

They really can’t win can they.

diddl · 17/03/2022 09:20

If it's "first come first served" then surely kids whose parents can't sit with their phone all day & reply immediately are at a disadvantage?

I suppose if it's not open to all it's not that important educationally?

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 17/03/2022 09:20

@babadook76 don't disagree- I use my work email address mirroring what my ex manager did deliberately to avoid missing anything and always book things straightaway so that i don't miss things but I was just saying that we get endless reminders.
We're primary though guess it might be different in secondary.

CornedBeef451 · 17/03/2022 09:22

@AngelinaFibres actually they don't. The senior school parents FB page is full of people asking for information and bemoaning things they've missed.

The primary has a high proportion of (very wealthy) stay at home parents and so possibly they have more time to read the 23 class dojo posts congratulating Jemima on her spellings with the last sentence mentioning they need to bring a plastic bottle to school tomorrow for a science experiment. Or, like me, they don't give a shit about the random child's spellings but still need to know about the bottle!

I really don't need the 15 messages about key stage 1 reading plans, DS is in year 6 and can read very well.

I only found out about the topic work as another mom was asking if I knew about as she was feeling guilty she didn't know about it so presumable there's more of us out there.

The school trip with 9pm pickup was the only thing not on the app where we pay for things and usually see the following letters about the trips. I have no idea why this one was chosen to be paper only but DD was isolating and so had no idea paper letters had been given out as it's the first time that's happened since she started and she's in year 9.

I think the dojo would be much better if they had 2 channels, one for optional topics and then one for things I need to know.

The teachers are lovely but there's no way I'm watching a 5 minute video on the off chance the last 30 seconds is to tell us PE days are changing. (Actual example)

The parents evening one turned out ok as they're always just a gushing 10 mins about DS so a quick dojo message to say no concerns was fine.

I am an involved parent and I want to get this right but trawling apps and emails for scraps of information is too much. I scan everything that arrives each day and put everything on the calendar but I'm still missing things and so are other parents!

I know lots of parents don't care and won't read things no matter how schools send it but I am doing my best and still missing things.

waterrat · 17/03/2022 09:22

Yanbu. Our school will ensure fir the sake of the child thst you knew. Children are reminded if parents haven't replied.

Makeitsoso · 17/03/2022 09:23

If it's a state school and in school time then this isn't allowed. They are allowed to ask parents for contributions/the cost but they can't exclude children based on if they can pay. If the school can't raise the finds then they have to cancel the trip not exclude children.

Polyputthekettleon · 17/03/2022 09:30

I would be disappointed as well OP,but that's life. You snooze , you lose. YANBU to feel disappointed but the school isn't unreasonable either. It's not their fault. It's a shame that you missed the email and your dc failed to mention it. Hopefully it won't happen again.

workisnotawolf · 17/03/2022 09:30

I have 4 kids in 3 different schools and a job. I miss stuff sometimes… the kids know why and they understand. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Make it up to your child and take them on a special trip on the weekend, if the school won’t make place for your child. In all likelihood someone may drop out last minute anyway because Covid is rife again.

goodnightgrumble · 17/03/2022 09:31

I understand. My child has a trip coming up and we only had the one e Mail about it. Luckily I paid it straight away and there has been no mention of it since! It's next week.

BurntO · 17/03/2022 09:33

You need to be more organised, sorry OP. Go through all your crap emails and mark them as junk or unsubscribe from any mailing lists.

Original poster
pisspants · 17/03/2022 09:34

@Babadook76 not 2 emails really. The original one was sent a month ago about the trip. One came out last few days about having to wear uniform etc, it wasnt another chance to sign up. It was that email that alerted me about the trip so called the school.

OP posts:
goodnightgrumble · 17/03/2022 09:34

Our school are terrible for sending out e mails. The only way I see anything is the mums WhatsApp group as there is one who is on the ball and sends reminders. We have busy lives and often miss things.

Branleuse · 17/03/2022 09:34

its really gutting when this happens. I struggle with organisation and have missed all sorts of things, but its the worst when its something for your children.

Saying that, it is a shame that there were neither any reminders nor did your child mention it, so maybe they werent that bothered about going anyway.
How old is your dc? Maybe talk to them about how if theres an important event at school that other children or teachers are talking about, can they make sure they tell you about it, in case you dont see the email.

Original poster
pisspants · 17/03/2022 09:35

there isnt a wait list as such, I just asked for a place if someone can no longer go if ill etc. Its a whole year, whole day educational trip.

OP posts:
Polyputthekettleon · 17/03/2022 09:37

"If it's a state school and in school time then this isn't allowed. They are allowed to ask parents for contributions/the cost but they can't exclude children based on if they can pay. If the school can't raise the finds then they have to cancel the trip not exclude children."

But the issue here is not that the school is refusing to take the OPs dc due to failing to pay, it's due to not informing them that they intend to go on the trip for ticket/seat booking purposes etc. If OP had informed the school on time and she didn't have the funds then the school would have possibly assisted with funds. If not, everybody will just ignore emails and let the school know they want to go on the trip last minute.