Height issues as an adult-Petite

[Mindmatters668]

It’s recently come to my attention that I think I have issues with my height!!
I’m 5ft and weight 8 stone and 36 years old. I’m the same height as my friends 12 year old daughter.

I do look like an adult though, when I’m out and about and kids are running around people say “mind the lady” etc, so I don’t look childish in my face.

I would like to become more independent in my life, go places alone, travel around the U.K. but for some reason I have it in my head I’m extremely vulnerable on the basis I’m small and petite!!
I don’t know what it is I think would happen, but I sometimes get scared of actually doing the things I want to do because I’m the same statistics as a bloody 12 year old! I suppose I also do get scared like a child would, I suppose sometimes I actually feel like a child and why I can’t go off and do things on my own, because a young child wouldn’t do them things. I can hear this sounds mental!

Is there other petite ladies who go off travelling by themselves or go out late and night to take the dog through the woods and it doesn’t phase them? Does your height bother you?

Am I being stupid or is this some kind of valid concern?

I would like to become more independent in my life, go places alone, travel around the U.K. but for some reason I have it in my head I’m extremely vulnerable on the basis I’m small and petite!!

This is incredibly strange to me. I’m barely 5”1 and it never occurred to me that I couldn’t go places alone!

Well I'm older than you, but the same height and statistics and always have been. I've never even given it a thought. I do what I want to do.

Sorry, I don’t mean like places to the shops or things like that, I mean travelling or out late at night mainly. Do you do those things? Do you not get worried?

Your height is not causing these issues, your anxiety is. Have you looked into CBT? You can self refer for the NHS service.

My DD is about the same height, size four in clothes but, frankly terrifying.
She travels alone on public transport, goes to gigs and is generally living her best life.
She has certainly not let her size dictate how she lives her life

I’m 5’1-2 and I honestly never think about it unless I see a photo of myself with taller people. Or buying clothes sometimes.

Buy some solid heeled boots or trainers (fortunately a big look right now) and get started. I wouldn’t take my dog into woods alone at night because I wouldn’t feel safe but that’s not height related.

For what it's worth, I'm a sixteen stone 6ftish man and I wouldn't fancy taking the dog through the woods late at night either!

Read a few of Josie Dew's books, especially the early one when she cycled round Morocco and Eastern Europe in her late teens and early 20s, alone. She is 5ft tall. Yes she found herself in a couple of very sketchy situations, but I'm assuming you're not wanting to cycle solo round Bulgaria in the early Nineties?

And bad things have happened to plenty of taller women!

It doesn’t bother me at all.

It’s just inconvenient when trying to find trousers/jeans etc as few shops sell petite sizes and those that do have a tiny range. Some ‘petite’ lengths are still too long!

Oh, and also trying to reach high shelves in supermarkets! I have to ask other shoppers to help me!

This is interesting, I don’t even leave my house if its dark….that’s not right is it? Genuine question there.

There is definitely something wrong with me, I don’t know why I’m so insecure about it and can’t believe so many others don’t even think about it!!

I am older (early 40s) and smaller than this and my biggest issue is not reaching the top shelf in the supermarket, and kids telling me how they're taller than me when they're about 10 (I know you're not the first 10 year old to point it out, and I can see for myself but thanks anyway )
I don't have a dog but I would take it for a walk in the woods. I run alone, and use woods, footpaths etc although I stick to pavements when it's dark. If I've been out late I walk back from the train station.
When you say you would like to be more independent, who usually accompanies you on said activities or do you choose not to do them?

I’m 5ft tall and less than 50kgs.

I love walking the dogs in the dark and I never think about my size.

I think it’s fine to be cautious though.

This is interesting, I don’t even leave my house if its dark….that’s not right is it? Genuine question there.

How do you deal with winter? It’s dark when I’m walking home from work at like 5pm.

This hasn’t got anything to do with your height, it is anxiety.
I can’t say I’ve ever factored height into my decision to go out or do something.

I'm 5.2 and its never occurred to me to be worried about this stuff. Reaching high shelves is a bit of a pain but that's the only time I've considered my height!

When I leave work in winter, my office has a car park so I’m in the car from point A to B so I deal with that fine…although If I didn’t have a car I don’t know what I would do as I certainly wouldn’t walk in the dark or catch a bus!!
I lived with my parents until 18, then I lived with my husband straight after and we have been together ever since and still are. I’ve never been alone, but now I want to do things he doesn’t have any interest in, and it’s occurred to me I’m scared because of my height and that I’m only small…but now after posting I think it’s possible it is actually anxiety and I’m masking it as a height problem. Although I feel I wouldn’t be so worried if I was a 5ft9 woman.

I'm 5'8". Does this make me safer than you?
Thought not.

I’m 160.5 cm (can’t forget the .5 haha) aka 5’3 and 33 and I do think my height and my build make me look younger than I am and arguably people take me less seriously for it, but to the extent that I’m afraid to do things… not really. I think that’s sadly just part and parcel of being a woman (text me when you get home/ carrying keys in your hand ‘just in case etc’).

My gripe with my height is sodding trousers and anything maxi, it invariably has to taken up… oh what I wouldn’t give to be able to walk into Zara and buy a pair of their wide leg palazzo trousers for holidays without 6 inches of fabric trailing on the floor. I don’t think I can get behind the newer trend of wide leg or flared jeans for this exact reason. Sigh.

Back to your point, maybe some cbt as other posters suggested but also what about some self defence classes, tbh I think they are a must for all women regardless of height.

Could this be a form of general social anxiety that you have some how linked in your mind to your height?

You're about half an inch taller than me (well jel) and half a stone lighter (again, jealous!) and I go wherever I want. I go out at night if I want or need to, have travelled to foreign countries by myself, spent a lot of time in cities on my own... I exercise the same caution and common sense as I imagine anyone does when out alone at night. I wouldn't dawdle down a dark alley in a sketchy neighborhood, if a man is walking behind me at night I think I would instinctively cross over, I would try to be in places that are well lit and populated... But that's the only thought I'd give it. And even then it's just a back of the mind thought.

I think you have anxiety issues, not height issues

It sounds like anxiety to me.

Nothing has ever stopped me from doing what I want to do, and I'm just about 5' tall.

As PP have said, the most annoying thing is when you can't reach the top shelf in supermarkets and have to ask someone to get it for you.

It's always some man who gives you that smirk...

I'm same height.
Being short never bothered me. Luckily, now I'm in my 50s I seem to be invisible to everyone apart from lost tourists.
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It's an odd turn of phrase, "I'm only small" for an adult woman to use in my opinion. You're short. I'm short too. I am also intelligent, switched on and capable. I'm not scared. You shouldn't be either. You're short, don't equate that with vulnerable or helpless or childlike as hopefully you are none of those things

I don't get it, sorry!

I'm 5ft 3 and chubby as fuck sooo... does that mean im safe or not 😁

I think its highly strange you don't go out after dark at all ?

You need to visit the reasons why properly, I'm not sure it's just because your short and thin. It's got to come from anxiety else where but these reasons obviously heighten it for you.

I dont think anyone likes to walk in the woods at dark. And i think for going on holiday and such, you'd naturally not be taking risks day to day.

One day at a time, I mean now you've said it out loud does it seem reasonable to you?

Im literally 4'11 and dont think about it at all. Nothing of the type has ever once gone through my head, even when travelling Australia alone for a year and Thailand for several months alone.