Height issues as an adult-Petite

[Mindmatters668]

It’s recently come to my attention that I think I have issues with my height!!
I’m 5ft and weight 8 stone and 36 years old. I’m the same height as my friends 12 year old daughter.

I do look like an adult though, when I’m out and about and kids are running around people say “mind the lady” etc, so I don’t look childish in my face.

I would like to become more independent in my life, go places alone, travel around the U.K. but for some reason I have it in my head I’m extremely vulnerable on the basis I’m small and petite!!
I don’t know what it is I think would happen, but I sometimes get scared of actually doing the things I want to do because I’m the same statistics as a bloody 12 year old! I suppose I also do get scared like a child would, I suppose sometimes I actually feel like a child and why I can’t go off and do things on my own, because a young child wouldn’t do them things. I can hear this sounds mental!

Is there other petite ladies who go off travelling by themselves or go out late and night to take the dog through the woods and it doesn’t phase them? Does your height bother you?

Am I being stupid or is this some kind of valid concern?

I’ve always found travel easier being short. Seats and planes etc way more comfortable.

I am 5ft 2 and 8st 8 so not much different to you.

I take my three children travelling by myself.

I walk my dog by myself.

I go out at night whatever time I want.

I can't wrap my head around this at all.

I am exactly the same height, I have travelled abroad alone many times and it never occured to me that I am more vulnerable than taller woman.

I’m tall (take after my father), but my mother was very short. She went everywhere by herself, well same as anybody else I mean.

@Supersimkin2

I’ve always found travel easier being short. Seats and planes etc way more comfortable.

This is really missing the point of OPs post but it made me laugh haha

@Mindmatters668

Sorry, I don’t mean like places to the shops or things like that, I mean travelling or out late at night mainly. Do you do those things? Do you not get worried?

I’m an inch taller than you and never given my lack of height any thought. I’m currently sat in my caravan after towing it across the country on my own. I go hill walking on my own in really deserted places. I go out late at night and walk home alone. I’ve been to Asia on my own and travelled about backpacking.

This is quite unusual, irrelevant of your stature you’re a grown woman facing forty, you’re not a child. I am taller but my friend is your height and build and one of the most kick ass women I’ve ever met.

The average height for a woman in the uk is 5ft 3. So you’re literally only three inches shorter than average and the average weight for a 12 year old is 6.5 stone. So you’re much bigger than a twelve year old child

It does seem to be a mental health issue. You maybe the same height as a 12 year old, but you’re also the same height as many grown women. And some men. The desire to become more independent usually takes place in one’s teens. It’s concerning it’s only now you’d like to do this. You seem very heavily focused on uour stature, when it’s not particularly an unusual stature, and you seem to perceive yourself as much smaller than you are.

Thank you all, you’ve really opened my eyes!!

How are people managing not to go out if its dark??
In the winter it doesn't get light til around 8am and gets dark around 4....don't you ever need to leave the house outside these hours?

I'm a similar size. It's never stopped me doing anything besides getting things off high shelves. Oh, and I was particularly useless at netball. But other than that it hasn't had a major impact on me, and as another poster said, I don't really even realise how small I am until I see myself on photos with other people - specifically those I'm not related to, as all my own family are short too.
However, I have experienced some degree of prejudice on occasions over the years, and I can see that that could affect someone's self confidence. People do make stupid comments. For instance I have always driven fairly big cars and have lost track of the number of times I've heard stupid things like "that's a big car for a little lady, how do manage?" Err, I press the pedals idiot, I don't push it. Someone once refused to believe that I held such a senior role at work because I was so short. Fortunately I am a short bolshy woman from a long line of other short bolshy women so it has never bothered me, but I can see how it could do. It's definitely possible that if you have been brought up being told continually that you are small and delicate that you could start to believe it and feel that you can't do things that other people can.
It isn't true of course, but if it has been ingrained into you, just being told that won't necessarily change anything. It sounds like it is having a big effect on your life though so I would look into some kind of counselling or therapy if I were you. Good luck with everything.

I am 5ft and a size 8 and spent 12 years from the age of 18 travelling the world, both working abroad and backpacking, mostly independently. I do wish I was slightly taller but not necessarily for safety reasons and it’s never been an issue whilst travelling.

I'm barely 5'1" though not slim and I've travelled solo around Eastern Europe and Russia. My lack of stature never even crossed my mind tbh!
I live alone and am fiercely independent.
I have various step stools and stepladders to help me access things in the house but mostly I'm entirely self sufficient and pretty fearless (some would say daft but that's for another thread!)
I wonder, OP, if you're using your petiteness as an excuse to not address your social anxiety? Be brave! I find people are generally very helpful to us shorties!

I’m 5’3 and went backpacking on my own… in my experience someone will always help you get your bag down from the overhead locker

I am tiny. Same height and size as you. I have lived on three continents. I travel alone all the time. To work. To see friends. I go out at night in a big American city. I have LITERALLY never worried about my height because I am not a small child. I can risk assess better than a 12 year old.

My 18yo dd isn't your height but she has friends the same age who are and they do normal things like travel, go to the pub at night etc

Same height (but fatter!) than you and no definitely don't stop myself from doing any of those things. Hadn't even thought of it to be honest! I suppose I can sort of see your point but tbh most women wouldn't have a chance against your average man unless you're talking brienne of tarth style build so I have never considered I am more at risk than anyone else.

Do you go out alone in day time? Can you build up, e.g walking in a very safe area at 4-7pm in the winter when it's dark?

What controls your mind, controls your life.

I'm shorter. I'd love to be 5 foot. Went to another country alone at 18 for a year. Travelled abroad for work. I am more cautious in my 40s about walking alone late at night. Nothing to do with my height, just more awareness of the violence towards women. But I would if I needed to which is rarely.

Nonetheless, I dislike my height and it pisses me off but it isn't something I would complain about.

I do martial arts and feel a bit self conscious at times as it's mostly men and youngsters that are in the class and I'm aware my kicks can't compare to theirs.

Do you do those things? Do you not get worried?

I’m a similar size to you. I don’t think I worry about these things any more than any of my taller friends? If anything, I’ve found people are more helpful towards me as I’m small, so maybe less worried than someone who looks more robust.

As others have said, I think this is a wider issue that you may want to look at.

I am exactly the same height and weight as you and do go out at night, walk the dog etc. but I have recently (for other reasons) started doing a self defence class. This has really improved my confidence in going out. Would that be an option for you?

I’m 4ft 10 and only weigh 6 stone. I can wear my 10 year old DS tops. I have never worried about being on my own or being particularly vulnerable.

I'm 5 foot and 8 and a half stone, aged 40, and love being petite. I walk home alone in the dark and never feel particularly vulnerable, travelled abroad by myself for a year etc. It's more a confident state of mind.

4'11" here. And a size 12.
I dont see myself as short, and I've never let it stop me do anything. The worst thing I'd being unable to reach the top shelf.

OP, I think you're right that you have fixated on your height when anxiety is really the issue. I'm the same height as you but a stone lighter, and have never once thought about this. I only ever notice that I'm small when I see my mum standing next to my children (who are all 6 footers - tall father). She's the same height as me, and looks tiny by comparison, so I suppose that's how I look to other people. But it really is a non-issue.

Also you seem to be equating size with age. You're not a 12 year old. Children can't do things like solo travels, walking home in the dark because they're children - because their brains aren't mature enough to assess risk, make quick decisions or know what to do in an emergency. Not because they're little.

Your size doesn't dictate your capability or risk.

I'm just under 5ft. The only problem I have with my height is not being able to reach the top shelf in supermarkets and wondering why they put small shoe sizes there too.

My height has never held me back. My 12 year old niece is getting taller than me and calls me Tiny Auntie.

I would say that at 36 I was a size 8-10 and weighed 8 stone but now after nearly 2 decades of enjoying food and not exercising, unless you call walking around shops exercising I'm now 2 stone heavier and even more lazy and greedy.