I keep falling out with everyone!

[nomannocry]

I know I am being unreasonable but I just needed a place to vent I suppose and maybe some advice to see if others have been in the same position.

I have been beyond stressed the past few months. It's a mixture between depression/anxiety but due to circumstances out with my control.

Last week I fell out with my friend, for no reason, I just flew off the handle and said some horrible things. Luckily he forgave me and we moved on from it as I apologised profusely once I had calmed down. However, I am so irritable, more than I ever have been before. I'm quite a chilled person really so it is really unlike me.

I am finding all my friends really irritating, any small comment they make I take it as a personal dig at me but have thankfully managed to keep my mouth shut.

This morning my mum and dad were meant to be taking me out for breakfast to celebrate a new job I got. The parking in my mums street is a nightmare. When I went in this morning I literally had 0 miles left on my car for petrol so I said to her as soon as we're finished breakfast I need to go and get petrol as I have zero miles. She asked where I had parked and I said across the street. She said you only get an hour there. I said it'll be fine and she replied no I'm not risking it. I said what do you mean you're not risking it? It's not your car! She then said you'll need to move it and find another space. I really didn't have enough petrol to be driving around looking for a parking space. So I said aw just forget breakfast, I'll just go and I stormed out.

I went and got petrol and am now home lying in bed trying to not cry because I just don't know why I'm behaving like this. It's not me at all, I feel constantly grumpy and it's not nice to be in a bad mood all the time. At the same time I don't know how to stop acting like this.

It's almost like an out of body experience. I know I'm behaving like this, I'm watching myself, I'm thinking 'you wanker' but can't stop myself. Then I have to deal with the shame and guilt and embarrassment for my behaviour when I eventually have to apologise for it. It's like a red mist descends and I can't control it.

What is happening to me?

How old are.you nomannocry? I don't want to jump to conclusions but I'm the age when lots of my friends are perimenopausal or menopausal and hormones have a lot to answer for.

Equally depression can make you behave irrationally. But so can low blood sugar.....etc etc

Peri menopause?
Thyroid issue?

Anxiety and depression can cause irritability though, are you having any treatment for this?

My HRT needs increasing, I’m a snappy, rage induced cow at the moment & constantly feeling stressed/anxious. I know it’s totally unacceptable but just can’t help myself at the moment.

@Mumdiva99

How old are.you nomannocry? I don't want to jump to conclusions but I'm the age when lots of my friends are perimenopausal or menopausal and hormones have a lot to answer for.

Equally depression can make you behave irrationally. But so can low blood sugar.....etc etc

I'm 29 so hope it's not menopause 😂

You say you're stressed right now. This is your cause. Unfortunately there's are not always solutions like "relax".
It's cheesy but I saw this yesterday.

"People don't just go from 0 - 60, they've spent so long at 59 you just haven't noticed". So you're not going from completely ok to blowing up. You're operating at a very fraught, tense place, on edge then a relatively minor thing triggers a sort of trigger of all those tense feelings at once.

Yes, in the moment calming methods might help you preserve you temporarily. What will work is the sources of stress and how they can be resolved. I know that isn't always easy and takes time.

*triggers a sort of cascade even

What contraception are you on, if any? I was like this all the time on contraceptive injections, it was horrendous. I felt like my body had been taken over by someone else (who was a total cunt).

Are you reaching burnout? You're obviously not falling out with EVERYONE, otherwise you'd be having a row with the checkout person at Tesco.

The people who you've snapped at, do you feel like they've had your support during the stressful period, are they empathetic?

Cut out unnecessary stresses from your life for a start, don't let your car get to zero petrol in the first place and get them to come and pick you up for breakfast rather than you pick up them

Your mum was being annoying by the way.

I'm not on any type of contraception, I do have diabetes and haven't been taking care of my blood sugars etc as well as I should. So I know that will be having an impact on things but I'm not having a hypo when I am behaving like that. I'm really aware of what I'm doing so its not a physical medical thing.

*like you've had their support

That's what I meant!

Speak to your GP x

I think you need to see your GP. Are you type 1 or 2?

Make things easier for yourself and keep your car filled up with petrol. I learnt that after the shortages a few months ago.

I'm being tested for BPD as I am like this. Incredibly unstable moods and relationships

I was going to suggest peri meno or if not that then something else hormonal. At the worst of my peri meno rage I was absolutely vile! Telling people to fuck off, left, right and centre (some deserved it, mind).

I'm 30 and exactly the same as you 🙈 I just feel like no one has common sense so I just snap the minute they step wrong or say something wrong etc.

😬 I often end up crying or anxious as I snap at everyone around me alll the time and instantly regret it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Like some PP I came on to ask how old you are 😀 I could have written this, but I’m 51.
Go easy on yourself and be honest with yourself about the things that annoy or stress you out. Some could perhaps be avoided.

I don't have any advice but I hate when I act like a wanker and the back of my brain is going 'oh my god, no! Stop! Whyyyyy?!!'. It's a horrible feeling and I hope you get to the bottom of it.

(The bottom of mine is that I'm just a bad-tempered dick sometimes but so is my husband so we manage!)

PMT had me like this.

I’ve been like this since lockdown I don’t know what’s it’s done to me but I’m not the same!

You probably need to notice and take action in good time when you and/or your car are getting hangry!

And then the fact that neither she or my dad have gotten in touch is getting me more annoyed now. I'm sitting here like nobody cares about me!! Absolutely pathetic. Honestly I am a different person recently!

Hey OP, I'm 30 so we're around the same age!

What's going on in your life at the moment?

I have been feeling this way too, but I think a lot of it for me is to do with big changes. One of which is I have had to go back to work after having a baby and I have really struggled with this.

My partner told me to go out for a walk yesterday morning to clear my head and it really, really helped make me feel better. It doesn't sound like a lot, but I would recommend it. Going for a walk has helped me work through my feelings and be rational on many an occasion. Even if I don't want to, I make myself go and it always helps.

Pregnant

@twinnie22

I'm 30 and exactly the same as you 🙈 I just feel like no one has common sense so I just snap the minute they step wrong or say something wrong etc.

😬 I often end up crying or anxious as I snap at everyone around me alll the time and instantly regret it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Saaaame!!!