I keep falling out with everyone!

[nomannocry]

I know I am being unreasonable but I just needed a place to vent I suppose and maybe some advice to see if others have been in the same position.

I have been beyond stressed the past few months. It's a mixture between depression/anxiety but due to circumstances out with my control.

Last week I fell out with my friend, for no reason, I just flew off the handle and said some horrible things. Luckily he forgave me and we moved on from it as I apologised profusely once I had calmed down. However, I am so irritable, more than I ever have been before. I'm quite a chilled person really so it is really unlike me.

I am finding all my friends really irritating, any small comment they make I take it as a personal dig at me but have thankfully managed to keep my mouth shut.

This morning my mum and dad were meant to be taking me out for breakfast to celebrate a new job I got. The parking in my mums street is a nightmare. When I went in this morning I literally had 0 miles left on my car for petrol so I said to her as soon as we're finished breakfast I need to go and get petrol as I have zero miles. She asked where I had parked and I said across the street. She said you only get an hour there. I said it'll be fine and she replied no I'm not risking it. I said what do you mean you're not risking it? It's not your car! She then said you'll need to move it and find another space. I really didn't have enough petrol to be driving around looking for a parking space. So I said aw just forget breakfast, I'll just go and I stormed out.

I went and got petrol and am now home lying in bed trying to not cry because I just don't know why I'm behaving like this. It's not me at all, I feel constantly grumpy and it's not nice to be in a bad mood all the time. At the same time I don't know how to stop acting like this.

It's almost like an out of body experience. I know I'm behaving like this, I'm watching myself, I'm thinking 'you wanker' but can't stop myself. Then I have to deal with the shame and guilt and embarrassment for my behaviour when I eventually have to apologise for it. It's like a red mist descends and I can't control it.

What is happening to me?

Could you be pregnant?

If not then this sounds exactly like my dad and me (at different points), turns out it was uncontrolled hypothyroidism. Were now on thyroxine and back to normal!

I’ve been like this and it’s draining and humiliating and just awful. I spoke to my GP who was lovely and after a chat we realised I was just stressed and burning out. She put me on anti depressants and some self help courses online and the difference has been incredible.

I was just flying into a total rage over the most minuscule things, things that previously wouldn’t have had me batting an eyelid.

It could be your diabetes, medications, general stress etc but definitely speak to your GP

I don’t know what’s going on with you or if you have hormonal problems. But I do know that you need to learn to control it. I have hormone problems, I do know that sudden surge of unreasonable rage! But you’re an adult. Your body does not control your mind. Decide how to behave, don’t just react.

Right now your parents are feeling shocked and upset that you arrived with zero petrol, parked in a space that didn’t meet your needs, then stormed off when they tried to prevent you getting fined. You need to apologise to your parents, not lie around waiting for them to contact you.

It sounds like you can’t trust your emotions right now so I’d get into the habit of taking a deep breath and making a decision about how to act. Umagine you’re an actor on a stage. Feel like you want to scream at your parents? Well repress that and act like a loving daughter who’s excited about a birthday treat.

Plus get regular sleep, exercise, spend time in nature, and try to bring your body back into balance. It’s been a crappy couple of years and all the war on tv is raising stress levels. Stop reading the news and instead watch stand up comedy clips on youtube. Find ways to calm.

Go and have your bloods done. Something similar happened to me once and I had very low vitamin d deficiency. Imbalances can really affect your moods.

Aww I'm the same age as you and this was me in the summer. I have never fallen out with anybody even at school but I started having such little tolerance then like you say the guilt after snapping is horrible. I was so angry all the time. I didn't feel stressed but I was. I'd had no proper time for myself to reset. One very kind woman at work who had felt felt same noticed after I'd finally snapped at my ( in fairness bully ) of a colleague. I took some leave and as I had covid whilst I was off I used the time to reset and sleep and sleep and sleep some more. You'd be amazed what sleeping does to clear out your stress bucket. Once my sleeping was being repaired I did start to feel much better. Still not 100% but aa another poster said if you spend so long at 59 etc etc... I know you said you have a new job coming up so can't take leave presumably but you don't need to be off to say no a bit more and focus on you. Tell everyone around you what you've told us on here and say you're stressed and might not be your usual self for a few weeks. It will pass promise x

Awww it’s awful I have gone through this, and in my case it was early menapause. I am also young and didn’t believe it, however relieved to have a diagnosis. You need to speak to you GP incase it is x

Well op it's good your acknowledging your behaviour towards others but they probably haven't been in contact because you've probably done it more than a few times and apologising after each time wears thin.

I have a bipolar sibling and this is exactly the sort of situation that happens a lot and forgiveness is expected each time but your not doing anything about what triggers you in the first place.

You really need to sit back and think how to sort it out.

Have you seen a gp?

Have you had bloods done to rule out any issues?

You say your not managing your sugar levels well and that definitely creates bad mood swings so you really need to get on top of that op. It's bad for your health let alone anything else.

You can self refer to a well-being course online if you think that could help you to start unravelling things

@nomannocry

And then the fact that neither she or my dad have gotten in touch is getting me more annoyed now. I'm sitting here like nobody cares about me!! Absolutely pathetic. Honestly I am a different person recently!

Maybe they're waiting for an apology? You shouted and stomped out of their house.

@Tsuni never shouted. Where did I say I shouted?

I did this at Xmas. For me it was severe sleep deprivation. I thought I felt ok then a simple miscommunication made me completely fly off the handle, slam the phone down and burst into proper ugly crying for about 20mins.i ended up spending Xmas by myself and sulking

I'm normally a water off a ducks back kind of person, rarely lose my temper and never, ever cry. It was pure overwhelm.

I would suggest stress or hormones are the most likely? As I said, I really felt fine in myself and not even that tired, but I work variable shifts inc nights and when I checked my fitbit sleep tracker id had about 12hrs over the course of a week, and one period of 40hrs with no sleep at all. It was messy.

Taking any new medication in the last 6 months, including pills, pumps, contraception? Could be a chemical imbalance from that, which causes your erratic behaviour. Go to the Gp.

I’m hypothyroid, but not enough to get NHS treatment and I feel very much like you. Nothing is bloody straightforward — and that’s as much as I can cope with. Anything like moving the car, searching for parking space would tip me too. I can get snappy and have to really bite my tongue.
Can you get your thyroid checked and maybe your blood sugar levels too ?

@Xpologog

I’m hypothyroid, but not enough to get NHS treatment and I feel very much like you. Nothing is bloody straightforward — and that’s as much as I can cope with. Anything like moving the car, searching for parking space would tip me too. I can get snappy and have to really bite my tongue. Can you get your thyroid checked and maybe your blood sugar levels too ?

I think what tipped me most over the edge today was when she was like 'I'm not taking the risk' with this weird look on her face and I'm thinking what does she mean SHE'S not taking the risk? It's my car! I'd be paying the fine! I'm 29 years old, I don't need my mum to tell me where to park! Totally irrational but I think that's what was going through my head at the time! Yes good idea, I will contact GP

I am diabetic (type 2) and if I don’t take care of my sugar levels my mood is really affected and my resilience levels as well.
My mood was majorly affected by extremely low vitamin D levels. I felt I was spiralling out of control.
I think it’s worth getting to the doctors to get vitamin levels checked. Also for the next 4 months be really careful with your sugar levels. If you can test regularly do so.

Hi, you've said you're diabetic, and not controlling your sugars as well as you should. I'm also diabetic, and you would be surprised at how it alters you either way. When I'm low, I get short tempered , snappy, sleepy, shaky etc, so I get that even though you're not low when this happens, it may be part of the reason you're stressed. You may even be coming up from a low amd not realise it. It's not totally down to sugars (I get annoyed when the doctors blame every little thing on my Diabetes) but it is something to maybe take into consideration.

On the back of what @Tothemoonandbackx has said. I’d potentially improve your diet first and then see then see the doctor otherwise they’ll blame it on your blood sugars.

My husband and I burned out. We both switched jobs, and I look back to our messages between each other a couple of years back and they're so terse and tense, even if we're not angry at each other.

Now it's more like "look, the cat is being cute for the ninth time today".

Tbf, your mum was deeply unhelpful about the parking. I'd find that very annoying at any time, never mind if I was stressed already.

@Onlyforcake

You say you're stressed right now. This is your cause. Unfortunately there's are not always solutions like "relax". It's cheesy but I saw this yesterday. "People don't just go from 0 - 60, they've spent so long at 59 you just haven't noticed". So you're not going from completely ok to blowing up. You're operating at a very fraught, tense place, on edge then a relatively minor thing triggers a sort of trigger of all those tense feelings at once. Yes, in the moment calming methods might help you preserve you temporarily. What will work is the sources of stress and how they can be resolved. I know that isn't always easy and takes time.

Exactly this When l lose my shit at home for asking g everyone to chip on a bit with keeping the place tidy, l haven't just flown off the handle. I have been asking nicely for weeks and reached the end of my tether

I’d be like mum listen, my blood sugars haven’t been great and I have been finding things really hard. I know you didn’t want to risk me getting a ticket but honestly it was the straw that broke the camels back. Sorry for snapping. Are you in later for a brew and a chat?

Surely your mum will understand as a type 1 parent. Assuming you aren’t really recently diagnosed.

I’d also have a shower, a nap and watch some crap on YouTube to cheer myself up.

Then book a GP apt for a blood test - get your hba1c and thyroid checked. Hypothyroidism is linked to Type 1.

And I just wanted to say I know how you feel. I’m 30, 30 weeks pregnant and working FT and managing a house move and I feel like I’m being picked on all the time especially by work! I feel like everything anyone says is a dig and personal but I’m trying really hard to not snap because I’m coming across unprofessional!

I am managing it by trying to get out for a lunch break, treating myself to some sweets or choc in the afternoon when I feel my energy dipping, and having earlier nights. Just some things that help me. I’m also hypothyroid (hashimotos) and anaemic so I feel like no one gets how irritable I am. My best friend is type 1 and my dad so I know how it can affect your moods too. Just to say I sympathize!

Would you say you had a very independent spirit?

If yes, you may just have had enough of the bullshit people routinely dish out and think they can get away with.

I get it Op.

I would probably have driven home & said that there was no where to park so I had to come home.

I know you said that you are falling out with a lot of people-but perhaps you put up with a lot from others & have reached your tipping point?

Hopefully the new job goes well & you manage to sort things out.

This sounds like me to a tee. My parents would have been exactly the same over parking and reacted in the same way, as would I.

Are you getting enough rest? Even something as simple as reducing caffeine can help. It makes me jittery and anxious when I have too much.

Kudos to you for recognising your behviour aswell.

I'm Type 1 and so is DS. How uncontrolled are your blood sugars at the moment? When our DS is high he can get super irritable and hard to reason with, so maybe it's that? I would definitely reach out to your GP asap, and see what they can suggest, especially as it's so out of character. Sorry you're having a rough time of it