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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to babysit other people's kids at my daughters swimming lesson

85 replies

littlebird2 · 15/03/2022 19:26

My dd has been doing swimming lessons since September.
I had a baby last April so she was 4 months old when dd started.

It started with a little 2 year old girl who's sister swam in my daughters class. Every week she would not leave me alone. I love children but she would come over and just keep pointing saying "baby", poking my baby in the face, taking her toys, HER DUMMY, climb all over us and her mother would say her name every now and then but not actually
Get up to come get her but carry on chatting to another parent. Some days I would be exhausted as dd2 isn't a great sleeper and really not want to entertain other kids. And also bf, so if she'd want a feed during the lesson this kid would literally be right next to us or jumping in the sofa we were sat on.

Now there is also 3 year old twins that do the same thing. Take DD's toys, try pick her up, poke her face etc, They started a about a month ago. We get there at 3.40, 20 minutes before my DD's lesson, they don't swim until 4:30 in the next class, god knows why they are there so early. but the mum just sits on her phone and lets them run wild in the gym cafe for an hour before their lesson. She also takes the only seat where parents can see their kids swim, yet her children aren't even swimming. One of the twins was sick right next to me a few weeks ago and she didnt notice until I got up to tell her.

I've contemplated hiding in the changing rooms until after the lesson but then I wouldn't get any glimpse of dd swimming.

I'm considering emailing the swim company but I'm not sure what they can say to "can you ask other parents to keep their annoying kids away from me so I can just sit and watch my daughter swim in peace?"

OP posts:
HairyScaryMonster · 15/03/2022 19:43

I'd be getting up and chattily walking the children back to their parent. Again and again.

Meggymoo777 · 15/03/2022 19:58

@HairyScaryMonster

I'd be getting up and chattily walking the children back to their parent. Again and again.
^ This. Problem solved with the first response! Great advice, I couldn't be dealing with this either.
Schwarz · 15/03/2022 20:01

Can't you take a bag of sharp, shiny and sugary things with you - then slowly dole them out to interested children? Hopefully getting that sort of reputation could make it more peaceful?

SNUG2022 · 15/03/2022 20:07

Just change your routine for a bit. Hopefully they'll move class soon anyway.

LittleOwl153 · 15/03/2022 20:08

Take a fold up chair. Put it where you can see your daughter - and well away from the others if possible. Send the offending child back to its parents every time it comes near you. If the child touches your dd shout at its parent to come get it and teach it some manners...

But then I get very fed up and small kids 'watching' swimming lessons. I'd also tell the woman occupying the only viewing area that you dd isnin the pool currently so you'd appreciate it if she shifted so you can see yours as hers isn't in yet. But as I say... I've done 8 years of poolside...

Duckyneedsaclean · 15/03/2022 20:08

Work on your mean face, I just give kids I don't want to interact with a look. Grin

Whatsmyname100 · 15/03/2022 20:10

Op you really need to use your voice. you're complaining about little children here when you are the adult. Loudly and firmly tell them to go away to their parents. Stop engaging with them and firmly tell them to go.

HeddaGarbled · 15/03/2022 20:10

Tell them to go away.

StarMouse879 · 15/03/2022 20:12

Entirely reasonable to say (and keep saying) "My baby doesn't want to play just now. Go back to your mummy please."

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/03/2022 20:15

Just call out - Hi - would you come and collect you son/daughter, the baby doesn’t like it - or take the toddler over and say same.

Basic veneer of politeness but I’d be pretty sharp. They’ll get the message.

Quincythequince · 15/03/2022 20:18

@littlebird2

My dd has been doing swimming lessons since September. I had a baby last April so she was 4 months old when dd started.

It started with a little 2 year old girl who's sister swam in my daughters class. Every week she would not leave me alone. I love children but she would come over and just keep pointing saying "baby", poking my baby in the face, taking her toys, HER DUMMY, climb all over us and her mother would say her name every now and then but not actually
Get up to come get her but carry on chatting to another parent. Some days I would be exhausted as dd2 isn't a great sleeper and really not want to entertain other kids. And also bf, so if she'd want a feed during the lesson this kid would literally be right next to us or jumping in the sofa we were sat on.

Now there is also 3 year old twins that do the same thing. Take DD's toys, try pick her up, poke her face etc, They started a about a month ago. We get there at 3.40, 20 minutes before my DD's lesson, they don't swim until 4:30 in the next class, god knows why they are there so early. but the mum just sits on her phone and lets them run wild in the gym cafe for an hour before their lesson. She also takes the only seat where parents can see their kids swim, yet her children aren't even swimming. One of the twins was sick right next to me a few weeks ago and she didnt notice until I got up to tell her.

I've contemplated hiding in the changing rooms until after the lesson but then I wouldn't get any glimpse of dd swimming.

I'm considering emailing the swim company but I'm not sure what they can say to "can you ask other parents to keep their annoying kids away from me so I can just sit and watch my daughter swim in peace?"

You could of course just tell her to watch her own kids as they are disturbing you.

Oh, and can I sit here please - my DD is swimming and I’d like to see her. Will be sure to give you the seat when it’s your turn to watch.

HelloBunny · 15/03/2022 20:28

My kid is the chatty type, who loves approaching other kids & adults, all the time. And being a nuisance! Sounds like the other parents just aren’t arsed. It’s hard work keeping my little guy out of others’ space / face, but that’s my job. No harm in asking those mums to do theirs, thank you!

vamptramp · 15/03/2022 20:28

Repeatedly and loudly tell the child in a pleasant voice to go back to their parent. Get louder each time. It's the only way.

Be polite in tone, but repeat like a robot.

Original poster
littlebird2 · 15/03/2022 20:28

Thanks everyone.
I hate to say that children are grating on me but they really are. And it's not even their fault, it's the parents.

I think you're right and I just need to be more assertive/ speak to the parent.
I just didn't want to create an atmosphere because I see them every week but it really driving me nuts now.

OP posts:
UsernameInTheTown · 15/03/2022 20:30

Behave like an adult OP and stick up for your poor baby.

Bonbon21 · 15/03/2022 20:32

Just because you have children you dont have to like other peoples...
Just say loud and clear that Mummy is over there and they should stay with her.....
Practise your mean face....😉

Original poster
littlebird2 · 15/03/2022 20:34

@HelloBunny

My kid is the chatty type, who loves approaching other kids & adults, all the time. And being a nuisance! Sounds like the other parents just aren’t arsed. It’s hard work keeping my little guy out of others’ space / face, but that’s my job. No harm in asking those mums to do theirs, thank you!
I wouldn't mind if the parent seemed interested in what their child was up to and tried to keep them out of others space every now and then.

But the toddler mum just chats to another mum and the twins mum literally doesn't look up from her phone and often has her back to where her children are.

I understand children are of course harmless and like I said I love kids and would happily chat away to them most of the time. But when it feels like other people's children are constantly on top of you for the whole 30 minutes while trying to entertain a baby and watch my dd swim so she can see I am interested, it can be a bit much!
But thank you for your comment because it's interesting to see from another perspective

OP posts:
Thewindwhispers · 15/03/2022 20:35

Speak to the swim company to say you’re considering leaving because of the constant harassment from other kids and ask them to send an email to everyone, saying “some children are not being supervised and are therefore harassing other parents and upsetting other children. parents are reminded that any spectating children must sit next to their supervising parent or not they will not be allowed poolside.”

And yes be more assertive but in the situation you describe it is very awkward and tricky I know.

Original poster
littlebird2 · 15/03/2022 20:36

@UsernameInTheTown

Behave like an adult OP and stick up for your poor baby.
I do of course. I tell them not to touch her face or ask them politely to leave her toys but toddlers are quick!! I pick her up and keep her to the other side of me.
OP posts:
mbosnz · 15/03/2022 20:37

I was very much, 'nice to meet you, you need to go to your Mummy now, where's your Mummy?' (while knowing full well where she was, and glaring at her). If she didn't come and retrieve, I'd take the child back, saying, 'they need to be with you, don't they?'

SeaToSki · 15/03/2022 20:58

Im having quiet time now, so you must go away

Cough on them loudly

Dont touch my baby - in a carrying stern voice

use your push chair as a physical barrier and the back of you chair as another barrier, then sit on the chair kind of sideways so your back is a third corner

Tell the Mum, Im trying to get the baby to nap so I can do my work emails, can you keep your dc away as they are waking her up

Tell the dc, the baby is sick, you mustnt come near (if anyone asks say its congenital)

Put the baby in a sling

As a PP said, take you own camping folding chair to sit right by the window and then ignore

WTF475878237NC · 15/03/2022 21:04

I can't believe this has happened more than once especially with Covid. Protect your baby from filthy fingers!

BOOTS52 · 15/03/2022 21:09

I would email the swimming place and tell them that small children are not being supervised in the area and this needs to be addressed. I would not put your name etc but see if anything changes but if it doesn't I would say to the mother please can you take your child back as trying to feed my baby and it is distracting the feed thanks so much. Soo annoying as some parents just do not watch their children at all.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 15/03/2022 21:10

I’d shout over to the other parents they need to collect their kids. I’d holler quite loudly and if they don’t collect them, I’d be telling the children to get off and get away. I’d be firm and then even firmer!

Original poster
littlebird2 · 15/03/2022 21:15

@WTF475878237NC

I can't believe this has happened more than once especially with Covid. Protect your baby from filthy fingers!
One of them literally threw up in front of me and was clearly unwell and the mother did nothing. I couldn't believe it. But i really do not want them touching her face, it makes me cringe and mostly I move her in time before they do.
OP posts: