Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To take only one of my children to Lapland U.K. and not the other?

114 replies

christmasthoughts · 15/03/2022 19:00

Am going to Lapland U.K. with MIL/SIL/nephew.
I have two DS's, aged 4 and 2.
It's a long drive from us and a hotel stay.
I am thinking of just bringing the 4yo (nephew is 5 and they are good friends).
My reasons being, basically it will be easier for me. The idea of bringing them both in the car and then sorting them both through the trip makes me feel a bit stressed out as you never know what the 2 year old will be like (typical 2yo).
DH happy to have two year old for the night.
My problem is crippling mum guilt on youngest missing out, and his brother missing him.
On the other hand I could have some quality one on one with my eldest and we'd both really enjoy the trip.

For reference, I am very likely overthinking this.

Wwyd?

OP posts:

SundayTeatime · 15/03/2022 19:12

I think it’s fine, as long as you plan to do something similar with your younger one when he is four.

3Daddy31982 · 15/03/2022 19:14

I'm fairly sure they need to be 6 as it's cold

Duracellbunnywannabe · 15/03/2022 19:16

Fine. Two year old wouldn’t enjoy it. @3Daddy31982 OP is taking about some where in the UK.

multivac · 15/03/2022 19:16

@3Daddy31982

I'm fairly sure they need to be 6 as it's cold

I'm fairly sure Lapland UK doesn't get that chilly....

Sirzy · 15/03/2022 19:17

Is there a reason your husband couldn’t come to so both children can go?

Rubyupbeat · 15/03/2022 19:19

You can't leave 2 year out, that's really unfair.

SundayTeatime · 15/03/2022 19:22

Completely normal to do different activities with different children. My DB brought each of his DC individually to London for a weekend trip when they were about ten. It was a lovely bonding moment for them.

pumpkinpie01 · 15/03/2022 19:23

Perfectly fine , 2 year old will not know and the older one will get more attention from you .

3Daddy31982 · 15/03/2022 19:24

Ah...OK...what is Lapland UK?

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/03/2022 19:24

I just know, being the youngest, that seeing photographic evidence of being left out is sad. Can DH do something equally good (but age appropriate) with the youngest so the memories line up?

Savvysix1984 · 15/03/2022 19:24

I wouldn't leave 2 year old out. Surely it's a once in a lifetime thing. You're 4 year old will still likely believe in Santa for at least another 4 years so I'd wait and take both together.

Ducksurprise · 15/03/2022 19:24

@Rubyupbeat

You can't leave 2 year out, that's really unfair.

Of course you can. They won't remember it, it will probably be too much for them and they will have other opportunities in the future. One on one time is important

Savvysix1984 · 15/03/2022 19:25

Sorry just realised it's Lapland uk. Not a once in a lifetime thing then ....

DelphiniumBlue · 15/03/2022 19:25

It's fine just to take one. The 2 year old won't even know what he's missing, and the older one will enjoy your attention and doing big boy stuff, without you being distracted having to keep the little one safe.

Hugasauras · 15/03/2022 19:26

I think it's fine. Children should be treated equitably but that doesn't mean each child has to do the exact same things as the other one.

DockOTheBay · 15/03/2022 19:26

Get your husband to do something with the 2YO that they will really enjoy - soft play, swimming, see father Christmas at the local farm/attraction. So at least they're not completely left out.

Floppy234 · 15/03/2022 19:26

I wouldn't leave 2 year old out. I have 4 & 2 year old also.

We took my little boy ( the now 4 year old) to the real lapland when he was 9 months old for 3 nights so they defo don't have to be over 6!

MsTSwift · 15/03/2022 19:29

Absolutely fine and will be a much nicer trip for you and older child take the younger one somewhere when he is 4. Twos too young for that anyway.

sausagepastapot · 15/03/2022 19:29

The two year old definitely won't remember, follow the story or enjoy the activities. Take the older one and have a great time.

alrightfella · 15/03/2022 19:31

I think it's fine. Get dh to do something fun with the little one, then book to take him in a couple of years when his big brother is at school.

niki26 · 15/03/2022 19:33

We took our two year old a few years ago and actually regretted going! She was too young - couldn't do the ice skating and hated having to wait in a hot crowded room to see Santa. And of course had no clue who he was either. It's about four hours long and was too much for her (and us!!!).

However, we've been twice since, when she's been 4 and 6 respectively and it's been better (plus we had her one year old sibling last year and it was actually fine as she's pretty chilled!).

I would normally say don't leave one sibling out but I honestly think the two year old wouldn't benefit from it.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/03/2022 19:33

It’s fine. The 2 year old wouldn’t have a clue what was going on.

MsTSwift · 15/03/2022 19:38

You have to be careful with younger children and these full on places. We took ours at 2 and 4 to a water park in Spain. They were far too scared to go on any of the slides or tubes and just wanted to splash in the kids pool - which we had at our villa. So we basically paid £150 to go to a shit crowded swimming pool when we had a pool where we were staying anyway. Learn from our mistakes!

Unless it’s peppa pig world these places best for six plus.

SilenceOfThePrams · 15/03/2022 19:40

Of course it’s ok to do things with one child not the other! The older one is going to enjoy things before the younger is ready for them, but then the younger one will enjoy things the older one has outgrown. It evens out.

Treating children fairly doesn’t mean treating them identically.

Kitfish · 15/03/2022 19:40

I got left behind when I was 2-3 years old when my father took my sister on a day trip to London. I was devastated and never forgot it - I'm 53 now and still feel hurt by it. Don't leave your 2 year old behind.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5