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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take only one of my children to Lapland U.K. and not the other?

114 replies

christmasthoughts · 15/03/2022 19:00

Am going to Lapland U.K. with MIL/SIL/nephew.
I have two DS's, aged 4 and 2.
It's a long drive from us and a hotel stay.
I am thinking of just bringing the 4yo (nephew is 5 and they are good friends).
My reasons being, basically it will be easier for me. The idea of bringing them both in the car and then sorting them both through the trip makes me feel a bit stressed out as you never know what the 2 year old will be like (typical 2yo).
DH happy to have two year old for the night.
My problem is crippling mum guilt on youngest missing out, and his brother missing him.
On the other hand I could have some quality one on one with my eldest and we'd both really enjoy the trip.

For reference, I am very likely overthinking this.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 15/03/2022 19:41

It's fine to take the older one and leave 2 year old home with Dad. Even the 4 year old won't remember they went later.

garlictwist · 15/03/2022 19:47

I'd leave the r 2 year old. He won't know or remember anyway. To be honest, nor will your four year old.

Moonshine5 · 15/03/2022 19:48

Take them both. It sounds expensive but actually when you get inside I found it to be good value for what you receive. Taking into account the ages of the children.

tkwal · 15/03/2022 19:51

I wouldn't have left my 2 year old out...my kids would have been 2,4 and 6 at that point and either they all went or none did ( except school friends b'day parties or school trips)

theglitch · 15/03/2022 19:54

Our of interest, was there a wider backstory there @Kitfish?

2Hot2Handle · 15/03/2022 19:56

We went last year and it was brilliant. DS was 4. Yes leave 2 year old at home and bring them when they are older. Then you can focus on 4 year old. It’s way too expensive to justify bringing a 2 year old that won’t get much from it and will split your attention.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/03/2022 19:59

It's absolutely fine.

Get DH to do something fun and age-appropriate with the 2yo instead.

1forAll74 · 15/03/2022 20:01

Not the 2 year old, he can go later when he is a bit older.. He can be taken somewhere else that's nice whilst you are away.

Skyeheather · 15/03/2022 20:09

There's no way I would leave my two year old out, I wouldn't leave DP out either, he would love to see the kids enjoying themselves at this!

Surely your MIL & SIL would help, you're not going on your own you've got additional pairs of hands.

Original poster
christmasthoughts · 15/03/2022 20:21

@Kitfish are you being serious? I genuinely can't tell

OP posts:
Original poster
christmasthoughts · 15/03/2022 20:24

@Skyeheather DH isn't really into that kind of thing so it would probably just stress him out.
MIL and SIL are great and would absolutely help, but I would be divided.

And as others have said there's no way of knowing how my two year old would do, he'd likely still be napping and need an earlier bed at the hotel and I'd still be doing the bulk of hands in care.

As others have said I would get some quality one on one with 4 year old.

I still feel so guilty though! Especially with some others mentioning they wouldn't leave one out 😢

Thanks for the replies everyone x

OP posts:
SundayTeatime · 15/03/2022 20:26

But you’re not leaving him out if he gets his turn to go when he is four. It’s completely fair. No one is being left out.

SundayTeatime · 15/03/2022 20:31

I just can’t even understand why you would feel guilty about it. You are treating your DC fairly. When your elder child was two, did you go to Lapland U.K.? No. Your younger DC can do another nice activity suitable for his age. That’s fair.

alrightfella · 15/03/2022 20:50

@christmasthoughts yes but some people take siblings to everything or no one goes. I've known people turn down party invites if only one was invited. Bat shit crazy.

Personally I've always gone for age appropriate/ enjoyment and I think as long as kids are treated fairly it's fine. It's also nice for the kids to do things 1:1 with a parent.

Teaandtoastedbiscuits · 15/03/2022 20:50

Just go with 4 year old 2 year old could potentially ruin it. 2 yr old will get plenty of opportunities when they are old enough to enjoy it. I have q 4 qnd 2 year old and even if I try my best 4 yr old often gets sidelined due to 2 yr olds demands. I never feel guilty leaving him and home to spend one to one time with her. They don't have to do everything together.

Marvellousmadness · 15/03/2022 21:04

Of course that's fine
It will make the trip easier and better
And you wouldn't be doing a 2 yo any favors in bringing them anyway. I would totally do it.

TabithaHazel · 15/03/2022 21:11

Sounds fine to me OP, the 2 year old wouldn't really appreciate it whereas the 4 year old will be able to enjoy it more without you having to wrangle his sibling.

Twirldream · 15/03/2022 21:31

We went last Christmas and there was very few children under 4 there on the day we went. I think I read somewhere that the best age is 4+ to understand the activities and the waiting around etc.

It won’t be a popular opinion but I’d save your money and take both DC to a lovely garden centre Christmas event near you. We thought it was a shockingly poor value for money.

Datsandcogs · 15/03/2022 21:40

I couldn’t leave a child in my family behind for an activity like that. Find something else to do until your younger child can participate too or bring DH and both children.

venusmay · 15/03/2022 21:43

Remember mine at age 2 and this sort of trip would have been a nightmare so I think I would take just the older kids. The 2 year old won't remember any of it. Just make sure you plan another trip when they're older.

venusmay · 15/03/2022 21:44

@Kitfish I think you're having us on!

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 15/03/2022 21:48

Looking back at the photos won't be fun imo. My ds 7 gets miffed he wasn't in ones when he wasn't even born!

LittleMousewithcloggson · 15/03/2022 21:49

I took mine at 4 and 6 but I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to take them any younger
They won’t be able to make toys in toy factory or ice the gingerbread or go ice skating - they are just too young
Take the 4 year old now and then go again in a few years time when the littlest is older

TheGoogleMum · 15/03/2022 21:54

I've been reading about it today - reviews suggest under 4 yr olds will struggle so I think yanbu but to ease your mom guilt maybe plan to take your younger child when they are older?

Tomeeornottomee · 15/03/2022 22:02

I took my DS to Disneyland Paris on a 3 day coach trip when he was 7 and left 2 year old DD at home with DH. It was a free trip through my work and although We could have gone as a family I knew that taking a toddler on an 8 hour coach trip would have been hellish for her, me and everybody else on the coach. She had a great time with DH. They went to soft play centres, the park, McDonalds etc. DH was knackered but she had fun and they took loads of pictures... all the pics I took at Disneyland were dark as the flash stopped working so the only decent picture we have of the trip is my son at a service station somewhere in France where he played giant connect 4 with another kid from the trip. Oh apart from the one of us 2 outside the big hotel which had my head missing 😂 Go, have fun and don’t feel guilty. There will be plenty of time for your littlest one to have fun trips away with you.

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