To take only one of my children to Lapland U.K. and not the other?

[christmasthoughts]

Am going to Lapland U.K. with MIL/SIL/nephew.
I have two DS's, aged 4 and 2.
It's a long drive from us and a hotel stay.
I am thinking of just bringing the 4yo (nephew is 5 and they are good friends).
My reasons being, basically it will be easier for me. The idea of bringing them both in the car and then sorting them both through the trip makes me feel a bit stressed out as you never know what the 2 year old will be like (typical 2yo).
DH happy to have two year old for the night.
My problem is crippling mum guilt on youngest missing out, and his brother missing him.
On the other hand I could have some quality one on one with my eldest and we'd both really enjoy the trip.

For reference, I am very likely overthinking this.

Wwyd?

@3Daddy31982

Ah...OK...what is Lapland UK?

A tarted up forest in Bracknell.

I have 4.5 years between my dds and I'll be doing separate things for them. I wouldn't expect an 8.5yo to be interested in a thing aimed at a 4yo when they get to those ages.

Of course it is not unreasonable to take one child somewhere without the other.
Indeed, it is really good parenting.
Great to spend 1:1 with different dc at different times.
Good to take dc to various things at an age when it is appropriate for them, without siblings distracting from it.

I have no idea what Lapland UK is like - these places don't generally have a great reputation - but on the question of each parent having 1 dc separately for a short time, YANBU.

The two year old won't even know any difference! Its perfectly fine to take the older child, then just take the younger one when hes older.

@3Daddy31982

I'm fairly sure they need to be 6 as it's cold

Are there no children under 6 living in Finland then?

I think its important to have one on one time with kids as well

@Rubyupbeat

You can't leave 2 year out, that's really unfair.

Will the two year-old get that much out of it?

Go again when they're 4

@Twirldream

We went last Christmas and there was very few children under 4 there on the day we went. I think I read somewhere that the best age is 4+ to understand the activities and the waiting around etc.

It won’t be a popular opinion but I’d save your money and take both DC to a lovely garden centre Christmas event near you. We thought it was a shockingly poor value for money.

Really? I took my older dc aged 13 and 11 in 2017 and we thought it was absolutely amazing! Admittedly we got given free tickets ( staff thing) but I would have still thought it was fantastic if we had paid.

@DuggeeHugPlease it's Lapland UK

We've been twice. DC aged 2 the first year and 3 the second absolutely loved it. Lots of toddlers there when we went. I personally couldn't have left DC out of such a special family day.

[quote SeasonFinale]@DuggeeHugPlease it's Lapland UK [/quote]
I know, I got that. I still don't understand why the other poster thinks children under 6 can't go to the real Lapland!

@Rubyupbeat

You can't leave 2 year out, that's really unfair.

2 year olds are usually a nightmare and have the memory of a fish. The kid won't ever remember not being there or have any concept of missing out and you can concentrate on giving the 4yo a great time while 2yo is spending a lovely time with dad. If you take the 2yo you risk ruining the trip for the 4yo.

@Kitfish

I got left behind when I was 2-3 years old when my father took my sister on a day trip to London. I was devastated and never forgot it - I'm 53 now and still feel hurt by it. Don't leave your 2 year old behind.

@3Daddy31982

I'm fairly sure they need to be 6 as it's cold

Omg this - didn't you know they don't have anyone under 6 in Finland?? It's actually illegal.

They send them away shortly after birth under they're old enough to cope with the weather.

Lapland UK? The child you don't want to take will be dancing for joy at having dodged that particular bullet.

Absolutely fine. Leave the 2 year old to have fun with his dad and when he's older you can take him too

Yabu to go to lapland uk. Save up and go to actual lapland when both dc are a few years older and will remember it. It’s 1000X better.

I wouldn't leave one out. Seems really unfair.

I've visited LLUK twice and I'd leave the 2 year old out if I were you.

I think to really get the full benefit, children need to be at least 4 (maybe even 5) so they really 'get' it and can really immerse themselves in the experience. I took my son when he was aged 7 & 8 and he LOVED it so much!

Lapland UK is only getting more popular so it's not going anywhere - You can always visit again when your little one is older and they can get the full wonder of the place, it really is magic ☺️

I’m a bit torn with this. Lapland Uk is expensive so are you likely to to back? And if so would you just take your youngest. Last Christmas I had a 2yo who was bloody miserable meeting Santa at our local grotto. It wouldn’t have been worth taking her to something expensive. So in principle, taking the 4yo alone is probably wise but I’d wait another year so you can take them both and have them both enjoy it.

I don’t know why people are taking the piss of the under 6 Lapland advice. I’ve been looking at lots of reviews saying don’t take tinies as it’s too cold for them and it’s a bit miserable as long days etc. I wouldn’t take mine until the youngest is 4/5 at the earliest.

@Rubyupbeat

You can't leave 2 year out, that's really unfair.

Yeah, because the two year old will really know what’s going on

OP it’s fine. Do something else more local with the two year old around Christmas. If there’s one nearby I’d recommend a Santa steam train at that age.

But you are being unreasonable for thinking about Christmas already.

Thanks for all the replies, I am still torn! More seem to be on the it's ok side. When I spoke to DH he was shocked I'd leave the little one but didn't offer to also come so 🤷‍♀️

@Wnkingawalrus I know 🙈 but you have to book next week really to get the slot you want

DD was 2 and 8 month last Christmas and was not impressed meeting Santa at our local farm. Now at very nearly 3, she would love it.

You know your child.

Will they be just 2 or nearer to 3? I think it depends on the child. Mine didn’t need a nap from being 2 onwards and was really aware of what was going on- would have understood they were being left behind! Sorry but he does remember some things from being 2!

Quality time with each child is important. We split the children (my GC) across the family to do age appropriate stuff. Otherwise the eldest, or elder children miss out.
My three DDs were different in personalities and throughout their lives, I'd have days with just one. I still go shopping with my middle one and game/watch horror films with my youngest. I think it's odd if, as an adult you don't get why you wasn't included. It's unfair on your older ones for a parent to decide that if all can't do something, none can't.