All male colleagues have a Teams channel I'm not on.

[Choux]

My manager is male and all his other direct reports are male. Male dominated industry trying hard to improve the gender balance. Lots of sport esp football talk but generally my colleagues are ok, family oriented blokes.

We wfh most days but go into office together Weds. My manager mailed this morning to all of us to say he wasn't coming to office tomorrow as he was going to the football tomorrow night and couldn't get there in time from the office. (He has a long commute)

Another colleague replied to all to say 'I am coming in still but you all know that as I sent a Teams chat on the subject'. I am not on the Teams chat. It's not clear if my manager is on the Teams chat or not or how often chat is happening on there and what topics are being discussed.

Maybe it's mainly football talk but I'm annoyed at being excluded, him not realising I am excluded and I'm even thinking about all the times over my career I have felt excluded eg hearing the men i sat next to every day in a previous role often went for a beer after work but didn't invite me.

AIBU to start my reply on whether I am going to office tomorrow with 'Which Teams chat is that???'

What's your social life outside of work like?

It's not discrimination as some are suggesting if they're not intentionally excluding you because you're female - and it doesn't sound like they are.

@EggBanjo are you deliberately being a dick?

Of course he is

@girlmom21

What's your social life outside of work like?

It's not discrimination as some are suggesting if they're not intentionally excluding you because you're female - and it doesn't sound like they are.

Erm...all the males are on a single teams chat with the male boss.

So it definitely looks like they are.

@AlisonDonut she doesn't know if the boss is on there and it's still not discrimination if she's not being intentionally left out or if the group doesn't impact her work.

[quote girlmom21]@AlisonDonut she doesn't know if the boss is on there and it's still not discrimination if she's not being intentionally left out or if the group doesn't impact her work. [/quote]
ALL her colleagues are on it, it being a WORK teams group.

What is so hard about this? It is all in the original fucking post.

@AlisonDonut I think it's you struggling here...

Even if it wasn’t originally a work related chat, the fact one of them used it to inform the rest means it has drifted that way.

You definitely need to find a way to remind them that you’re not part of it before it becomes more and more of a work chat and eventually you miss out on important stuff.

@JustLyra

Even if it wasn’t originally a work related chat, the fact one of them used it to inform the rest means it has drifted that way.

You definitely need to find a way to remind them that you’re not part of it before it becomes more and more of a work chat and eventually you miss out on important stuff.

Apparently because she is female, none of this matters and we should let them get on with it because there is nothing worse than men having to deal with icky women. Perish the thought.

@Zampa

Id say if you really wanted to be more included would you agree it's better to get more involved e.g. The meeting after work ect, events like that help you fit in as one of the team so to . ?

The issue with "out of hours" meetings and/or socialising is that it can exclude those with caring responsibilities (essentially, women). Inclusive workplaces have socials at lunchtimes as well as after work and ensure meetings are held when everyone can attend.

I still think about the Friends episode when Rachel takes up smoking so she's included in work decisions ...

Anyway OP, @TheSpottedZebra is spot on with option 4.

Friends isn't real though is it.

If it's for work everyone should be included, if it's just messing about then I don't see the problem.

" paranoia that working relationships were being built when I wasn't around, jobs, promotions etc were being discussed and people were being helped into them because they were mates etc. "

This isn't paranoia at all.

Honestly op if it's football chat for work members that are interested in football but I'm not sure demanding to be included will just make you look a bit crazy when you've no interest in football.
I'd ask someone you get on the best with what it relates and then decide.
There's not much you can do about your boss having liking football in common with your colleagues and not you though . That's just one of those days things.

@Crazycrazylady

Honestly op if it's football chat for work members that are interested in football but I'm not sure demanding to be included will just make you look a bit crazy when you've no interest in football. I'd ask someone you get on the best with what it relates and then decide. There's not much you can do about your boss having liking football in common with your colleagues and not you though . That's just one of those days things.

But isn't just football chat is it? Literally what this thread is about - that one of her male colleagues informed all the other male colleagues that he wasn't going to be in the office on a Teams chat she hadn't been invited to.

What's that got to do with football?

They're entitled to their single sex space 🤷‍♀️

@Birdy474

They're entitled to their single sex space 🤷‍♀️

Work teams chats are not toilets.

Works teams chats are works teams chats.

Where teams chat about work.

They don't need privacy to expose their genitals. They are talking about work.

Hence telling them all that he won't be in, you know, work.

We have some 'social' teams (or Yammer) chat on some of my employers sites. I don't see a problem with purely social teams channels/chat on work platforms. Some of them are supposed to be work related, but all people ever talk about is their pets & pretty garden pictures.

I'm not sure that OP ever clarified that she actually needed to know in advance who was or wasn't in the office that day.

@lljkk

We have some 'social' teams (or Yammer) chat on some of my employers sites. I don't see a problem with purely social teams channels/chat on work platforms. Some of them are supposed to be work related, but all people ever talk about is their pets & pretty garden pictures.

I'm not sure that OP ever clarified that she actually needed to know in advance who was or wasn't in the office that day.

Just wondering how she would know whether or not the info shared in the man group would be relevant to her at all. Being that she is just a female and as such, only interested in shiny things and doing the washing up.

Long thread, so someone tell me where OP asked to join the group -- she did ask, right?

But if a male was making this thread about women who had a Teams chat without him, he would be absolutely flamed on here! Come on Mumsnet, double standards much?! And I am a woman!

@lljkk

We have some 'social' teams (or Yammer) chat on some of my employers sites. I don't see a problem with purely social teams channels/chat on work platforms. Some of them are supposed to be work related, but all people ever talk about is their pets & pretty garden pictures.

I'm not sure that OP ever clarified that she actually needed to know in advance who was or wasn't in the office that day.

Even if she didn’t need to know that specific fact how does she then find out anything else that’s in there?

Work groups should include everyone necessary. If they don’t then no work info should be shared there at all. Once that starts being the work group it’s only a matter of time before the OP is left out of something important.

@slimshady18

But if a male was making this thread about women who had a Teams chat without him, he would be absolutely flamed on here! Come on Mumsnet, double standards much?! And I am a woman!

If they were sharing work information then he’d get the same reply.

Whatever they are talking bout, they are deliberately excluding you.

I worked on an otherwise all male team. They tried the football chat to exclude me. Tough shit, I've watched football since 1969. I can out talk most people on football.

In fact one bloke told me I clearly knew more about football than the lot of them out together. And he was a season ticket holder at a premiership club. We had some good "banter" (in its truest form) between us, as the club I support was not the one he supported.

So even if the Teams thing is "just" for football chat, it's still a deliberate attempt to isolate you.

Complain to HR. I personally wouldn't bother going to your immediate boss. Isn't one of the definitions of bullying being to deliberately exclude someone?

I work in a senior role in this kind of environment and strongly suggest you don't go to HR! Terrible move.

I wonder what OP did, seems like she hasn't posted in > 48 hours.

Having to wade thru lots of boring footie chat doesn't appeal to me, I'd assume I was informed what I need to be when relevant.

At the end of the day my manager just got up and left to go to the other building for drinks and didn't even ask if I was going. Maybe the others had told him I was on the fence / didn't want to go but it didn't feel very inclusive.

Maybe he didn't feel like trying to persuade you if you were umming and ahhing all day about going?

As for the Teams thing, yes I can see why that's annoying and I think I'd ask straight out if it's work related or more of friends chatting kind of thing. You should totally be on it if they're discussing work related issues.

@Besttobe8001

I work in a senior role in this kind of environment and strongly suggest you don't go to HR! Terrible move.

Yes stick to making the men some tea. Don't rock the boat!