[quote Villagewaspbyke]@Nsmum14 - think you have it all wrong. No one is saying breastfeeding is a “bad use of womens time”. The issue is that womens time, effort and work is taken for granted and are not valued.
For example, Women who are having difficulty breastfeeding are told yo stay in a room and breastfeed for 24 hours on demand to establish supply. Never mind they may have other children. Never mind that they may have other things to do. Never mind that this would be exhausting at an already difficult time.
Ultimately exclusively breastfeeding babies is more time consuming and difficult for many if not most women. Often to the point where our lives with young children are utterly exhausting. We matter too. Our mental and physical well being is worth something.[/quote]
Yes, 100%. Many of my friends have had second babies while also having a young toddler (I struggled with no.2, currently pregnant but a couple of years behind them). The reality doesn't seem to be a relaxing, bonding experience but a slightly chaotic situation in which the mobile, attention-seeking toddler comes first (at least when out of the house) which means the screaming, hungry baby has to be thrust aside a lot of the time. It's very stressful for the mother trying to balance their needs. I've held quite a few babies for friends as they rescued or chased their toddlers and (while I'd never comment on or judge anyone's feeding choices) it just is much less stressful if someone else can give your baby a bottle. I have one friend who learnt how to breastfeed her baby in a sling so she could still play with her toddler. We joked that she was Wonderwoman, but it's a bit sad that it's almost always women who are forced to be wonderwomen in this way. They often feel like they don't have enough to give everyone who is making demands of them, so the thought of keeping anything back for themselves is just ludicrous.
I think one of the benefits of breastfeeding is women have to sit down and relax rather than letting other people sit and feed baby while they cook/clean or whatever.
This is very idealised. The reality is that many women will be at home by themselves without help or caring for other children. Even if you're on maternity leave, the school/nursery run needs to be done, meals need to be cooked, the house needs to be tidied and kept clean and the other children need to be cared for. Even with a very helpful OH, a lot of things can't be left until the evening. And if you're still breastfeeding when you go back to work, it's often a hurried feed in the morning while late for the nursery run (or even outside the nursery in the cold, while waiting for it to open) and an exhausted one at the end of the day when there's really not anything much left to give.
I'm not saying breastfeeding isn't a good thing. But I still think it's quite a big ask of mothers and the emphasis on exclusive breastfeeding (with even mixed feeding being viewed as 'failure') can be misplaced if mothers are struggling.