House guest sneakily adding your wifi to their phone is rude yes?

[HDDD]

I mean, I don't mind any guest accessing my wifi BUT at least ask right?

@bonfireheart

Think some people missed my irony.

People are missing the irony left, right and centre on mumsnet just lately

That's like saying "House guest very sneaky for using hand soap without asking first"

Yup - this, hence 'sneakily'. Maybe I'm aghast that a grown adult can't live for an evening without their phone, and maybe have I don't know, a conversation.

So your issue is they were on their phone instead of talking to you rather than using your WiFi?

Actually I’m pretty hot on manners etc but this really wouldn’t bother me at all . In fact I think it’s perfectly normal .

I wouldn't care at all. It's not like their usage would cost me anything extra.

It’s extremely odd that you’re bothered by this. It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if someone went and took the password off the back of the router. I’m guessing you don’t like this person as that is the only scenario in which this could aggravate you.

Hardly sneaky, imo. Most routers have a card or sticker with the code on it. Wouldn’t bother me at all.

I really can’t understand why you are upset? I’m assuming if you allowed this person in your home that they are a family member or friend?

It’s none of your concern whether they can go without WiFi for one night? Unless you needed or wanted their undivided attention?

It's not unreasonable or rude. Not sure why you would have a problem with it

I don't think it's rude at all, even if they got the code themselves. It's like being annoyed they used the bathroom. It is a very basic thing now.

I'd be more put out if they helped themselves to a cup of tea!

I can’t imagine just going into someone’s house and just connecting to their Wi-Fi, without just asking ‘do you mind if I connect’ or similar. I’d always let someone but would think they were a bit rude if they just helped themselves!

Rude but only because if I didn’t give them the password, they’d have to go digging around to find the router. So it would be the digging around that I’d find rude.
But if they just asked, I’d be fine giving it out.

"I'm saying YANBU on the basis that you say it was sneakily done, which implies you didn't give the password but the guest found the router and perhaps got the password off the back of the little key code thingy?

If this is the case I think it's really cheeky. I would always ask if this was OK first!"

Is it any different to figuring out where the toilet is and just going there rather than asking first?

"Maybe I'm aghast that a grown adult can't live for an evening without their phone, and maybe have I don't know, a conversation."

I need internet wherever I go to check my transport for the way back. (I use my own data though, but would have used the wifi when I didn't have a good price for data).

I think it would depend on the person. If my friend came round and put the wifi code in, I wouldn't mind. If a person I didnt know very well, but had met once, then it would be strange, but i dont think I would say anything.

We, like all our friends have the code written on our fridge. Literally could nit care less.

"they’d have to go digging around to find the router."

My router is not hidden so no digging would be necessary.

I would always ask. So YANBU.

Sharing your wifi costs nothing and if you’re on a meter is cheaper than flushing the loo.

A guest using your wifi is as cheeky as complaining a guest is benefitting from the radiator heat whilst you’re both sitting in the same room.

My dd is a teen now. I noticed a couple of years ago she started adding her friends to the wifi. My initial reaction was ‘oh, I hadn’t thought of them needing it’. They all do it systematically now, which makes zero difference to our costs.

I prefer my guests to feel comfortable in my home without taking the mick. I can understand being a little taken aback and adjusting your expectations, but getting upset enough to complain on social media is quite an overreaction.

So what’s really going on?

"I'd say it's similar to using someone's toilet when you're a guest. They're unlikely to say no"

Someone tried to say no to me during the pandemic. I informed them it was the toilet or their garden and I was allowed to go.
If I know someone's house already, I don't know if I'd always ask permission.
I suppose if they have more than one they may have a preference, but in general if you've invited someone over, they shouldn't need your permission to use the toilet.

You’re being ridiculous, it’s a non issue

Yup - this, hence 'sneakily'. Maybe I'm aghast that a grown adult can't live for an evening without their phone, and maybe have I don't know, a conversation.

Did you turn your own devices off whilst they were there?

I’m always surprised when people say they’d be happy to give something if asked but resent people doing it without asking, but it’s clear that wasn’t your actual issue, you really just judge them for using their phone at your home. Can we assume this is someone you have prior issues with?

Guests should ask first!!! Although you should really have it password protected to keep riff-raff and scammers out.

I always say yes, but expect the courtesy of a request first. In my experience, no-one has ever not asked.

Is your data limited OP, is that why you object?

Otherwise I find it hard to see why it matters. It doesn't stop you using it.

I'd bet my life after your response there was a good reason they would rather be on their phone than have a conversation.

I mean good lord even my grumpy and set in their ways parents don't trot out the tired "wahh everyone's on their phones rather than have a conversation " line anymore. There could be a hundred reasons and it's not a virtue to be like this.

I'd genuinely be wondering how unpleasant I had been that they didn't feel they could ask and /or possibly need distraction from my company. Neither would reflect well on me.

Had a friend over to babysit a few weeks ago. When we got in I apologised that I'd totally forgotten to give them the WiFi password. They explained they'd workedit he jumble of letters on the noticeboard was probably the code and got it working that way. I said well done and was pleased as I'd have felt awful if I'd left them without WiFi.