... to be furious with DH and MIL and their big mouths?

[Sarahjct]

DH can't keep his trap shut about anything and his mother is just as bad. I'm 39 weeks pregnant and, over the course of this pregnancy they have told everyone, between them;

The name we had chosen when we thought she was a boy
The name we have chosen now we know she is a girl
The sex
Her estimated weight (from growth scan last week although I know these are bollards, mostly)
Her birthdate

Found out yesterday that as the hospital are pigeon holing me as having GD, which I'm sure I don't, they want to induce me on Tuesday. I feel like every ounce of control that I had over this pregnancy has been whittled away bit by bit by DH and his mother and now the hospital.

The last straw was all the messages this morning from everyone he knows wishing us luck for Tuesday. There are no surprises left and all of the 'nice' bits about having a baby have gone.

AIBU to expect that, when we agree not to tell people these things, that he can keep his word? I have told my family very little, because we agreed not to, but he has a huge family and everyone knows everything.

YANBU.

I'm sure your dh is excited but can't he be considerate as well?

I can see why you are annoyed, but I also think your DH is just really excited. Having said that if my mum/Mil/step MIl ahd blabbed about birth date, name etc I would be a tad annoyed.
MIL did regale DH's nan, aunts and uncles with tales of "oh yes saltire had x amount of stictches" "yes saltire did tear, but she wouldn't let me see the stitches" "I personally think saltire has post natal depressiona and needs to go into hospital to be getchecked out". Nothing to do with the fact that my baby was a week old and her nad step PIL (bless him hes a saint) came to stay with me or a week becasue DH was away on "the most important thing that will ever happen to me" rugby tour with the RAF.
Bitter? Me? no

ooh i would be annoyed too, i am currently expecting no 4 and dp and i know the sex this time, we never did find out with the others. we decided jointly NOT to tell anyone else (i am 33wks now) its our little secret and i love that. his family in particular keep pestering to find out the sex, and if dp told them i would be

also they dont know the due date, just that its towards the end of feb, early march, this is because i have always gone 2wks overdue and his family drove me MAD with phone calls etc, telling me to hurry up, have you had it yet etc, so i didnt want to be too specific this time, i can tell they are annoyed but tough shit, its my pregnancy and as this may be my last i am doing things my way this time

good luck, hope you sort things out with the hospital and you will enjoy your new baby regardless, it will be lovely.

oh but make sure that your dh knows which birth details he can and cant tell people, after i had ds1, dp went into great detail telling his family and one of my best friends about my episiotomy and the scissors they used it was the subject of much 'debate' between us for months afterwards.

He's excited. Be happy about that. you only need to read a few threads on here to see how lucky you are to have a dh who is excited and involved and proud. It is 50% his baby too, remember. Don't shut him out, you'll regret it and then you'll be on here posting how your dh does nothing with the baby and leaves it all to you and doesn't seem interested.

Thanks everyone. I guess I am being unreasonable but it's really upset me and he knows it as he's not arguing which is most unlike him!

I'm more annoyed with MIL who is totally incapable of keeping anything to herself and I'm trying so hard to keep her involved as I know from my brother's kids that it's hard being the in laws where babies are concerned. But I didn't expect her to follow me round the room at a family gathering when I was saying to people that we're not telling the name, saying 'oh come on, we all know it's blankety blank'.

I do feel robbed of that phone call telling all the details. As Honoria said above, it's not news anymore. Hey ho...

When I was pg DH and I told close family and friends every piece of news as we found it out, but YANBU if you and your DH have agreed not to say anything.

I know how you feel. We found out the sex and chose the name for DD before she was born. My mum blabbed to everyone and I was really peeved. Probably more to do with being a big bag of pregnant hormones. I know my mum didnt mean to upset me she just can be a bit that way at the best of times and was very excited about her first grandchild. This time I havent even hinted what name we have chosen and have not found out the sex. Not bothered about people knowing the due date. Perhaps its the thought of being induced and giving birth thats bothering you more? Why not ask for a second opinion about the GD.

Sarah - if your dh promised not to tell, then YANBU to be cross when he has. However, the scan alone is not a failsafe method of telling a baby's sex. Roger McGough wrote loads of poems about having a 4th son and then that 4th baby turned out to be a girl, despite the scan.

Also, you could tell dh you are now not sure about the name you have in fact chosen, and keep an open mind about what to name the baby until after the birth.