To ask how you feel about your partner putting on weight ?

[smoocakes6]

Being vague so as to get honest answers . Does it bother you if they get a but chubby ? Do you find them less attractive?

I don’t mind a bit of a belly personally. My DP was actually very scrawny and beanpoley when we met and he’s really filled out over the years and I find his ‘sturdiness’ attractive. So I wouldn’t mind. If he gained so much that it affected his day to day (getting out of breath easily, achey joints, sleep apnea etc) then I would be concerned.

Yes.

Dp now has massive round belly. Which seems to mean his trousers are so low I can see his bum crack, and a lot of it. When I mention that it’s not the nicest thing to look at and certainly not sure dd 16 should have to see it, am met with a barrel of abuse and wounded eye bollocks. Ick.

I don't find large people attractive so it would bother me if DH became large.

My husband has a BMI of 15.9 despite eating junk food all day. I'd be quite glad if he started to put weight on because perhaps then the house wouldn't be full of cake and Mars Bars that I have to try to pretend aren't there, since I gain weight at the drop of a hat.

If my DH got a little bit chubby it wouldn't bother me at all even though I can't quite imagine it.

If he got fat with a big belly and arse crack showing, it would be very difficult to find him attractive.

It honestly made no difference to me when my XP put on a few stone. Luckily he still seemed to find me attractive too. Over 9 years we both gained around 3-4 stone. He repeatedly lost and regained about 2 of them. I just went up and stayed there!

I’m actually dreading bumping into him because I know he’ll have lost some weight since we split (he had mentioned a friend using those injections that are all the rage at the moment, so I’m convinced he’ll have tried them) and I know he will look more like the old him - before he was an arsehole to me. But if he’s lost a lot then I probably wouldn’t fancy him any more tbh. I prefer a chunky man.

DH has always been big but at first it was gym / rugby big and very attractive - just my type . As he stopped playing / gyming when we had DC I couldn't really get too downhearted as he got "squashier" as I'd much rather that than he was out all hours.

He does goes through periods though of eating shit, drinking more and not exercising at all which I find very unattractive. Mainly as I see it as such an immature attitude. Being a grown up means taking care of yourself. He also doesn't seem to admit that he goes up and down and still squeezes into the same clothes which just look awful.

When he's really big I find it harder to get turned on by him.

Wouldn't really bother me up to about 2 or 3 stone. Beyond that probably would start to feel concerned.

DP and I both put weight on during lockdowns. I still found him attractive but honestly neither of us looked our best...

We've both lost a bit again and we just look so much healthier and attractive tbh - and we have a lot more energy which has led to a much more enjoyable day to day life and improved our relationship.

Yes. And my husband is a 4XL in clothing. I hate it for a multitude of reasons.

He has asthma (late onset, diagnosed about 12 years ago)
He is very unfit.
He can’t do things with the kids and gets annoyed when we leave him behind.
He has sleep apnoea.
He has a terrible relationship with food.
He can’t cut his own toenails and struggles to do shoe laces.

The worst part (and I accept my own responsibility in this) is that his bad habits have rubbed off on me. I was a size 10/12 when we married almost 20 years ago and now I’m about an 18.

I’m now struggling to lose weight and make healthy choices so I am more understanding of his struggles than I used to be but I’d be Lying if I said his weight didn’t bother me.

All that being said, we love each other and neither of us would consider leaving the others over it.

A bit chubby (e.g. a stone or two) would be fine, my bf has quite an athletic figure (cycles and in the army) so if he was a bit chunkier that would be fine. More than that I would struggle as I'm not really attracted to large guys.

My oh gained a lot of weight a few years after we got together. It didn't overly bother me in that I still found him attractive but he was really unhealthy and that made me worry about him. He dieted, lost all the weight and started working out. Now he's really scrawny and weighs a couple of stone less than me. (I'm a size 12) I find him less attractive as he is really bony and I don't like him being smaller than me (silly I know)

Would hate it if it was a gain of more than a few kilos. I find fatness a real turn off

DH gained 2.5 stone and honestly, yes I found him less physically attractive. Not just his physical appearance but his whole attitude to food, exercise, looking after himself, became unattractive to me.

As it happened he decided himself to do swim thing about it around the time I was deliberating with myself as to whether to talk to him about it. He lost the weight fairly quickly.

Likewise if I gained 2-3 stone I’d expect that he wouldn’t fancy me that much either.

My dp us heavier now than when we met. It doesn't bother me,I am not shallow.

Yes.. I try and keep in shape & expect the same from dp. Both for his ‘shape’ but also for his general health! So we can grow old together hopefully xo

My ex dh put on a lot of weight and I'm sorry to say he wasn't attractive to me anymore. However there was a lot more reasons and that was tip of iceberg.

My now dh could be doing with putting on a couple of pounds lol.

I was a size 24 when with ex. We split and I went to size 10. I'm now 16/18 again and feel huge and worried that my dh won't find me attractive anymore but I have given him 2 children and he says he doesn't care what size I am.

Tbh I don't think 1st is particularly noticeable on other people & I don't think a few stone would bother me. However I'm far more into attractive faces than just bodies, if someone is good looking then are generally still good looking if they put on a bit of weight. If the weight gain caused health issues that would be unattractive

@venusmay

My dp us heavier now than when we met. It doesn't bother me,I am not shallow.

Physical attraction isn't shallow.

Refusing to be seen with an overweight person, or refusing to hang out with overweight people would be though.

If you asked 1000 people to draw/describe their dream man or woman, I can guarantee none of them would say "6ft tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, obese".

Literally none of them and I'll take a guess that you wouldn't either.

Would depend on why he put it on i think and how much extra he put on. We are quite open about these things though. I would expect him to tell me if i was getting too chubby. It can be hard to see on yourself.

I saw a thread recently where a husband had told his wife he didn't find her as attractive after weight gain and people on here seemed very cross about, saying thinks like "if he really loves you he wouldn't mind".
It's a tricky one I think. Obviously attraction has got something to do with visuals. But at the same time it's also about the person as a whole.
I think it's understandable if someone puts on a lot of weight that their partner might not find them as attractive. The same applies if any aspect of their appearance changed considerably.

Yes but I can't stop him.
He was determined to get fit.
I prepared 3 day vegetables based stirfry for dinner, at breakfast he ate sausage rolls, greasy bacon.
It was a waste of my time.
His choice, sex dwindling not my problem.

Love doesn't conquer obesity.

My partner is very fit and I noticed when he put weight on quickly over Christmas. I was still attracted to him but less so.

I don't let myself go over a particular weight either though so not like I would expect standards of him that I don't hold myself.

He once said he wouldn't want to be with me if I went over a certain size and he has never dated any one over a particular size.