To ask how you feel about your partner putting on weight ?

[smoocakes6]

Being vague so as to get honest answers . Does it bother you if they get a but chubby ? Do you find them less attractive?

I'm the overweight one. I honestly don't know how DP is still intimate with me. I've recently started dieting and attending the gym and I took photos of myself beforehand and was honestly disgusted. I'm a far stretch from the fit, strong woman he met in the gym.

Half of it is down to having our son but I've gained more since then and it's not okay.

DP is very lean, skinny but muscular, and I think he'd look good for gaining a few stone. But I love him however he is, and the fact he still loves me the way I am right now makes me love him all the more.

We have both put on weight over the years. Mine has fluctuated (gone from a size 16, down to a 12, up to a 16, down to a 10 and back up to 16) whereas he's just gone up and up and up. He wears XXXL clothes.

It's not something I notice that often nor does it cross my mind all the time, but every so often his largeness catches my eye and I think ugh. He really needs to do something about it. Not to make him more physically attractive to me, but for his own health.

As PP have said its not the actual weight gain that is a turn off, its the attitude that comes with it. He's just lazy about his health and that is a turn off TBH.

I try with my weight and for me it is mainly food. DH is a feeder. He says to leave what I don't want, but once its on my plate that is much easier said than done. I do exercise though (mainly running with the odd phases of weights/bootcamp/gym)

I just wish he would try to do something about it. Every so often he has a go at something, but it never lasts long. I also don't feel I can force him.

Am I going to leave him for it? Hell no. He has many other wonderful qualities about him. However, if something happened and I found myself single and was looking. A deal breaker would be someone who is fit and healthy and enjoys some form of exercise. DH never really did throughout the time I've known him.

I'm in my 50s, but right through my life I've never looked at an overweight man and thought "Wow, I'd like to date him!". I'd always been attracted to men that were slim/normal weight.

If DH put on a few additional pounds, I'm not sure I'd really notice much? I think I'd feel very differently if I were shagging DH with a big beer belly. Personally I've never found that attractive.

Not exactly the same, but my DH lost of his hair in his 40s. I know it dented his confidence, but I still find him very attractive.

@Bunty55

I wouldn't say that it's brave. Just honest. I've taken some of the tips made by posters in other posts, and I'm getting my ducks in a row, created a leaving fund, and have already spoken to a solicitor for a divorce.

DH has definitely put on weight, as have I, with middle age. But I still find him attractive - my physical attraction was always to his face rather than his body, I suppose .

There's a big difference between accepting an almost inevitable increase in size due to pregnancy, middle age, lack of time, funds etc to exercise or devote to healthy eating etc and someone just completely letting go, eating crap out of boredom and generally not taking care of themselves. When women post saying their husbands no longer fancy them, it's often because of the former conditions, which is unreasonable. When a woman posts about her male partner it's often more the latter, hence the different responses, I think.

[quote R00K]@Bunty55

I wouldn't say that it's brave. Just honest. I've taken some of the tips made by posters in other posts, and I'm getting my ducks in a row, created a leaving fund, and have already spoken to a solicitor for a divorce.[/quote]
Which is fair enough - what's good for the goose and all that. Have you spoken to your wife though? Don't be a dick and leave her completely blindsided and financially ruined etc. That's dickish behaviour whatever side your looking at it from.

Not bothered unless it becomes a health concern. Interesting that women are allowed to get 'the ick' about it but men aren't.

There's a lot of fat people are lazy and don't take care of themselves on this thread. Most people who are overweight just eat too much of everything, it doesn't make them lazy. This thread seems to suggest people who gain weight are just big balls of fat slobbed on the sofa mainlining donner kebabs.

If DH gained weight I would still find him attractive. If he were a quick shag maybe not, but I find lots of things about DH attractive, his voice, his laugh his smell. He's funny and clever and kind. If he gained weight he would still be all those things. I love him and I'd find it bizarre to no longer be attracted to him because one aspect changed. He would still be him.

I met him when we were in our early 20s and it's unrealistic to expect either of us to look the same for our whole lives. His body is obviously going to change as he gets older. Not to mention there's a chance he could become ill or disabled and his body change. Surely you chose someone who you are attracted to in all ways to get married to, and therefore their body changing is not important

And honestly if someone I love and am married to stops taking care of themselves I would be concerned, but I wouldn't stop being attracted to them. Plus there's nothing worse than gym men, or cycling men or men who are obsessed with their diet. It's really tedious. I think Id rather DP gained weight and spent his time doing interesting things than became obsessed with how many chicken breasts he's eaten today, or acted like he's the first person to ever go keto

I married my husband because I love him and he’s my best friend. Putting on weight does not change that. I committed to being with him for life, not as long as he was a size x.

Getting the ick over a fat bloke is perfectly fair enough imo. Some women can look amazing when larger, boobs and hips and big bum can be very sexually attractive. OH has been everything from sub size 8 to size 16 and always been gorgeous

Fat blokes, not so much

This is an odd thread (maybe it’s just me as I like a man to be ‘larger’ than me) but weight would not be the factor in a relationship- mind/humour/outlook/values/sexual chemistry are things that I appreciate in a partner. Genuinely weight would be way down on the list.

@Carrotten I totally agree with this. There's nothing worse than a calorie or a protein bore. I don't mind a bit of 'chub' and I'd rather have someone who isn't weight obsessed. Having suffered with an eating disorder in the past I really couldn't cope with that.

I don't like it at all. I don't like how it looks and I don't like the health implications.
DH has morbidly obese parents and my worst nightmare would be to see him creep towards that.