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AIBU?

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Original poster

….about the sanitary towel one

101 replies

NotNotNotMyName · 12/03/2022 10:10

Following in from the other thread.

Wow. Yes the men may have felt awkward but why should you be reprimanded for their repression.

This reminds me of when DC2 was born. We had a few visitors including a single, male friend. DH (now EX DH) told me off for accidentally leaving a blood soaked pad in the bathroom. Obviously I didn’t mean to but I had a two week old baby and was absolutely knackered. It was my home, my bathroom. I don’t understand why he made a big deal and didn’t just put it in the bin for me.

OP posts:
OP posts:
AnotherSillawithanS · 12/03/2022 10:13

This reply has been deleted

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Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 12/03/2022 10:16

Better than my exh's attitude.. Apparently we weren't close because I never let him change my tampons.
Blood from anywhere is best kept in a bin...

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/03/2022 10:17

To be honest, my DP would have done the same. (Well not told me off, but he would have told me it was disgusting) Same as I would call him disgusting if he left his toenail clippings anywhere.

I have a teenage daughter and it really annoys me if she doesn't dispose of her pad properly...visitors or not.
I don't think when I had any of my children I have left a blood soaked pad anywhere. It's pretty gross. I'm also a sufferer of adenomyosis, I constantly leak, flood but would never leave blood stained items around.

The thread you are referring to is completely different. The woman wasn't holding a blood stained pad, it was a fresh one. If the men were complaining that she was walking around with a blood stained one then I would agree with the complaints

BatshitBanshee · 12/03/2022 10:17

@AnotherSillawithanS

No one really wants to see a used pad though do they. I'm a woman, I have periods but I wouldn't want to see that.
No one wants to see blood ever, but OP's exH was particularly dickish for just not having compassion for a very tired postpartum mother who - presumably - doesn't want to display her lochia but sheer exhaustion meant she forgot to bin it. He could have just binned it but instead made a non-issue into an issue.
Mangogogogo · 12/03/2022 10:17

Hmmm I think this is a little different. Not your fault though, I know my partner would have just binned it for me and 2 weeks postpartum is a very strange time and it was obviously an accident. But i do think a used one is a lot different to a wrapped clean one, but there’s absolutely no way I would have embarrassed you about it, even if I was the visiting friend I’d use some loo roll to grab it for you and shove it in the bin never to be mentioned again! What I’m trying to say is your partner was a bit meab

Mangogogogo · 12/03/2022 10:19

Sorry, I ended that weirdly. *mean and seemingly wouldn’t wait for the opportunity to embarrass you about it

FateHasRedesignedMost · 12/03/2022 10:19

My DH would have been cross too, nobody wants to see a used blood-soaked pad left out. But he would have put it in the bin.

Shallysally · 12/03/2022 10:19

It wasn’t a used pad though!

drawingpad · 12/03/2022 10:19

This reminds me of when DC2 was born. We had a few visitors including a single, male friend. DH (now EX DH) told me off for accidentally leaving a blood soaked pad in the bathroom.

I think your issue here is not the used pad but your husband 'telling you off'

LizDoingTheCanCan · 12/03/2022 10:19

Something a bit creepy about this thread...

dfendyr · 12/03/2022 10:20

There is a massive difference between used and un used sanitary items.

I have 2 dc, and on the 2nd one when i was in hospital a woman left her pads just lying there in the bathroom. She didn't tell anyone, she didn't put her things in the bin.

It was horrible

Shallysally · 12/03/2022 10:20

Oh sorry, I was meaning the post from the other thread, not this OP’s post 🤦‍♀️

drawingpad · 12/03/2022 10:20

Sorry I meant ex - I did realise that but the issue there was him, nothing to do with the pad - the idea that a grown up can be ' told off' especially in their own home is ridiculous.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/03/2022 10:21

@drawingpad

This reminds me of when DC2 was born. We had a few visitors including a single, male friend. DH (now EX DH) told me off for accidentally leaving a blood soaked pad in the bathroom.

I think your issue here is not the used pad but your husband 'telling you off'

I agree 'telling off' are you a child? I think if my DP ever did that I would laugh in his face. Something isn't clear in your post OP, was the 'telling off' in front of the visitors?
EvilPea · 12/03/2022 10:21

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Better than my exh's attitude.. Apparently we weren't close because I never let him change my tampons. Blood from anywhere is best kept in a bin...
What now???
Iggly · 12/03/2022 10:22

@FateHasRedesignedMost

My DH would have been cross too, nobody wants to see a used blood-soaked pad left out. But he would have put it in the bin.
Yep. It is a bit gross!
Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/03/2022 10:23

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Better than my exh's attitude.. Apparently we weren't close because I never let him change my tampons. Blood from anywhere is best kept in a bin...
You what? Envy
LemonMuffins · 12/03/2022 10:25

Sorry, I'm with your husband on this one.

CounsellorTroi · 12/03/2022 10:26

I missed the other thread. Periods are nothing to be ashamed about but they are nevertheless personal and private. Would you walk across the office on your way to the loo carrying a tube of Canesten?

Theunamedcat · 12/03/2022 10:26

I got "repremanded" for leaving sanitary products in my bathroom social services came out and in a meeting actually detailed that I left feminine hygiene products out in the open visibly on display! In a house with boys in it did I really feel that was "acceptable".....well yes I did because boys grow into men and potentially have wives girlfriends daughters even and I didn't see why I should hide that side of nature I used words such as regressive explained that periods should not be considered shameful 50% of the population get them for a lot of there lives and I'm not raising a child I'm raising a man who will accept these things for what they are a perfectly normal natural occurrence there was silence then the man running the meeting said I agree let's not focus on that again

Even the school said I was in the right couldn't see why they focused on that area they only visited because my ex got arrested I wasn't the one who did anything wrong this was literally her only issue and she went in hard on me proper frowning about it Hmm like it's a period what's the big deal?

Gowithme · 12/03/2022 10:27

Yeah I wouldn't be told off by some random bloke for something in my own house. He's free to not come round and not use the bathroom. I wouldn't expect him to pick it up but I'd expect some empathy and to just ignore it and not mention it. I find that empathy seems to be a real struggle for a lot of people though and it's shocking that some people who would have no problem with shaming their daughters over periods - but I guess that's how the shame and embarrassment around these things gets passed through the generations.

Theunamedcat · 12/03/2022 10:28

@CounsellorTroi

I missed the other thread. Periods are nothing to be ashamed about but they are nevertheless personal and private. Would you walk across the office on your way to the loo carrying a tube of Canesten?
You could only see if your looking though? Why wouldn't you be getting on with your work
Blackberrybunnet · 12/03/2022 10:29

Why you don't you just ask work to supply sanitary towels in toilets in the way they provide TP? Then they'd be solving their own problem.

FateHasRedesignedMost · 12/03/2022 10:31

Personally I think sanitary products are best stored out of sight (eg in a bathroom cupboard or caddy). But then I feel the same about most personal hygiene or grooming products or medications in a family bathroom. Why have unnecessary clutter on display? There are so many bathroom storage options even for a small bathroom.