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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

….about the sanitary towel one

101 replies

NotNotNotMyName · 12/03/2022 10:10

Following in from the other thread.

Wow. Yes the men may have felt awkward but why should you be reprimanded for their repression.

This reminds me of when DC2 was born. We had a few visitors including a single, male friend. DH (now EX DH) told me off for accidentally leaving a blood soaked pad in the bathroom. Obviously I didn’t mean to but I had a two week old baby and was absolutely knackered. It was my home, my bathroom. I don’t understand why he made a big deal and didn’t just put it in the bin for me.

OP posts:
Gowithme · 12/03/2022 10:31

Oh didn't realise it was actually your DH who told you off!! I would expect him to pick it up (was obviously confused by that bit!) if you're good enough for him to ejaculate into then he needs to get over himself. What a prick.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/03/2022 10:31

Just to add on my post, DP is in no way a prude when it comes to period blood. When I flood the bed he is the one that will gather up the sheets to put them in the wash, run around making me a coffee, getting me paracetamol and fresh clothes while I go have a bath. But if I was to leave a dirty san towel in bathroom he would still call me disgusting.

Momicrone · 12/03/2022 10:33

It's no-ones business when I'm menstruating

LuaDipa · 12/03/2022 10:34

@Theunamedcat

I got "repremanded" for leaving sanitary products in my bathroom social services came out and in a meeting actually detailed that I left feminine hygiene products out in the open visibly on display! In a house with boys in it did I really feel that was "acceptable".....well yes I did because boys grow into men and potentially have wives girlfriends daughters even and I didn't see why I should hide that side of nature I used words such as regressive explained that periods should not be considered shameful 50% of the population get them for a lot of there lives and I'm not raising a child I'm raising a man who will accept these things for what they are a perfectly normal natural occurrence there was silence then the man running the meeting said I agree let's not focus on that again

Even the school said I was in the right couldn't see why they focused on that area they only visited because my ex got arrested I wasn't the one who did anything wrong this was literally her only issue and she went in hard on me proper frowning about it Hmm like it's a period what's the big deal?

The only shameful thing about this is the attitude of the social worker.

You are absolutely right. These boys will grow into men who may have wives or partners that menstruate. Why shouldn’t they understand that san pro is a thing and that women have to use it? Ridiculous.

balalake · 12/03/2022 10:37

The OP's DH whilst I think wrong is a very different situation from a woman's manager at work responding to male complaints.

I suggested complaining about the men in that thread via the formal work HR process.

CounsellorTroi · 12/03/2022 10:40

CounsellorTroi
I missed the other thread. Periods are nothing to be ashamed about but they are nevertheless personal and private. Would you walk across the office on your way to the loo carrying a tube of Canesten?
You could only see if your looking though? Why wouldn't you be getting on with your work.

You can be working without having your head down though. On the phone, or walking to the printer or photocopier.

TheKeatingFive · 12/03/2022 10:43

You can be working without having your head down though. On the phone, or walking to the printer or photocopier.

And why would a brief glimpse of a sanpro product in someone's hand have any impact on that?

TheKeatingFive · 12/03/2022 10:45

OP, this feels like a different situation. Used sanpro is not equivalent to unused, just like you'd feel differently about used and unused loo roll.

However, 2 weeks post partum i would hope women would be cut some slack here and certainly not 'told off'.

mumda · 12/03/2022 10:51

In the 80s they started making pretty outer wraps for towels. Presumably to disguise them. I'm sure there was one brand that did a container to hold one too.

ToMockAKillingBird · 12/03/2022 10:52

I remember many years ago using a school friend's bathroom and being shocked that there was a box of tampax on the shelf.
Times have moved on thankfully!

It's just another bodily function, however, there's no need to advertise the fact you're on your period. Most pads are wrapped and would easily fit folded in your hand anyway.

TheKeatingFive · 12/03/2022 10:53

however, there's no need to advertise the fact you're on your period.

They're not taking out a billboard. Just holding something in their hand.

Stressedout1009 · 12/03/2022 10:53

@AnotherSillawithanS

No one really wants to see a used pad though do they. I'm a woman, I have periods but I wouldn't want to see that.
This. Sorry but that was disgusting and I would not want to see that either.
Regularsizedrudy · 12/03/2022 11:08

I’m with you op, but this is mumsnet where people shower in bleach and change the bedsheets twice a day. It’s like a competition for who can find their own body the most disgusting. Competitive cleanliness because you know women = gross and yucky.

Regularsizedrudy · 12/03/2022 11:10

Meanwhile they’ll happily scrub their long toenailed non tooth brushing husbands skid marked boxers but a bit of period blood, disgusting burn it with fire!

ikeepseeingit · 12/03/2022 11:12

What I expect other people to put up with:

Putting a pad or tampon in my hand and walking across a room to go to the toilet.

Me holding any other non sexual bodily function item in one hand that I might need for the toilet

What I don’t expect them to put up with:

Me taking off my pants and changing my pad in the middle of the floor.

Me waving my pad around like it’s a prop from the YMCA dance.

Does that clear things up?

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/03/2022 11:13

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Better than my exh's attitude.. Apparently we weren't close because I never let him change my tampons. Blood from anywhere is best kept in a bin...
WTF??? 😳
user1493494961 · 12/03/2022 11:13

I don't believe half the things I read on here.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 12/03/2022 11:14

Don't really understand why this needs a whole new thread rather than just replying to the other one

doyouwantachuffedybadge · 12/03/2022 11:15

A lot of people on this thread need to read the female eunuch - it's very sad to see women hating their own perfectly natural bodily functions. Periods are nothing to be ashamed of, are normal and should be talked about openly. The internal misogyny is horrific on here!

TheKeatingFive · 12/03/2022 11:17

Don't really understand why this needs a whole new thread rather than just replying to the other one

The other one is full

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/03/2022 11:18

@Idroppedthescrewinthetuna

Just to add on my post, DP is in no way a prude when it comes to period blood. When I flood the bed he is the one that will gather up the sheets to put them in the wash, run around making me a coffee, getting me paracetamol and fresh clothes while I go have a bath. But if I was to leave a dirty san towel in bathroom he would still call me disgusting.
@Idroppedthescrewinthetuna Are you sure? If he‘a the kind of man you are describing I don’t think he’s call you disgusting for leaving it by accident 2 weeks post birth, I think he’d put it in the bin and not embarrass you by mentioning it, as any reasonable person would.
Itloggedmeoutagain · 12/03/2022 11:20

@TheKeatingFive

Don't really understand why this needs a whole new thread rather than just replying to the other one

The other one is full

Full? Didn't realise that was a thing tbh. The comment box came up when I looked just then
Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/03/2022 11:23

No he would call it disgusting. He would move it but then say 'oh babe, you forgot to put your towel in bin, don't worry its sorted'
I would prob say 'oh shit sorry'
He would prob reply 'pretty minging babe'
And that would be it.

He might be amazing but he is still entitled to express his opinion. Same as I would prob have told him he shouldn't have moved it and I would have done it had he mentioned it.

TheKeatingFive · 12/03/2022 11:23

Full? Didn't realise that was a thing tbh.

Or nearly full. They close at 1000 posts.

mummykel16 · 12/03/2022 11:24

@ikeepseeingit

What I expect other people to put up with:

Putting a pad or tampon in my hand and walking across a room to go to the toilet.

Me holding any other non sexual bodily function item in one hand that I might need for the toilet

What I don’t expect them to put up with:

Me taking off my pants and changing my pad in the middle of the floor.

Me waving my pad around like it’s a prop from the YMCA dance.

Does that clear things up?

That could make office life, interesting