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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

….about the sanitary towel one

101 replies

NotNotNotMyName · 12/03/2022 10:10

Following in from the other thread.

Wow. Yes the men may have felt awkward but why should you be reprimanded for their repression.

This reminds me of when DC2 was born. We had a few visitors including a single, male friend. DH (now EX DH) told me off for accidentally leaving a blood soaked pad in the bathroom. Obviously I didn’t mean to but I had a two week old baby and was absolutely knackered. It was my home, my bathroom. I don’t understand why he made a big deal and didn’t just put it in the bin for me.

OP posts:
dfendyr · 12/03/2022 11:27

@Regularsizedrudy

Meanwhile they’ll happily scrub their long toenailed non tooth brushing husbands skid marked boxers but a bit of period blood, disgusting burn it with fire!
Erm no, that's also fucking disgusting
dfendyr · 12/03/2022 11:29

@doyouwantachuffedybadge

A lot of people on this thread need to read the female eunuch - it's very sad to see women hating their own perfectly natural bodily functions. Periods are nothing to be ashamed of, are normal and should be talked about openly. The internal misogyny is horrific on here!
No one is saying periods are disgusting

People are saying leaving items with bodily fluids out is disgusting. Big difference

I don't want to see your snot filled tissues, your shit filled tissues, or your menstrual filled sanitary items. There is a reason that all that goes into biohazard

Calandor · 12/03/2022 11:31

Y'all need to get over yourselves. It's a 2 week PP mums bloody pad. Who gives a fuck? Why's a single man coming over anyway?

Calandor · 12/03/2022 11:33

@Idroppedthescrewinthetuna

No he would call it disgusting. He would move it but then say 'oh babe, you forgot to put your towel in bin, don't worry its sorted' I would prob say 'oh shit sorry' He would prob reply 'pretty minging babe' And that would be it.

He might be amazing but he is still entitled to express his opinion. Same as I would prob have told him he shouldn't have moved it and I would have done it had he mentioned it.

Why would he mention it? To make you feel ashamed? If he's happy to move it he should move it and shut the fuck up.
Pumpfive · 12/03/2022 11:34

Your ex shouldn't have told you off, of course. That is the issue. But noone wants to see a bloody pad or tampon. I remember in my early 20s staying at a mate's (parents) in the summer holidays with some other school friends and one of the girls was on her period and literally just put her used tampons in the open topped bin without even wrapping it in tissue. I'm sorry but that is gross. So gross.

Pumpfive · 12/03/2022 11:35

@Calandor

Y'all need to get over yourselves. It's a 2 week PP mums bloody pad. Who gives a fuck? Why's a single man coming over anyway?
I'm sorry, what? Why's a single man coming over? Because why not? Could be the baby's uncle. Could be the op's best friend. Could be the father's friend. What a strange comment.
Pumpfive · 12/03/2022 11:36

Literally laughing at the thought of me having a baby and not allowing my brother to visit the baby because hes a single male. LOL

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/03/2022 11:41

I don't think I could ever say that about my fella. Not once in my life has he ever made me feel ashamed. 2 babies, my eldest daughter he has taken on, 10 years together whilst I have a disease in my womb which make me lose so much blood every day that I go anaemic and I can honestly say he has never made me feel ashamed. I would say the same to my daughter.
In fact I can say I have never left the bathroom with dirty san towels in so I can only predict what he would say. I imagine he would say that. Would it shame me? No! Would he dare try to shame me? Hell no! Would he tell me his feelings? Yes, he has every right!

gogohm · 12/03/2022 11:45

I put mine in the bathroom bin, it's open. I do fold them over (thin ones) but they are not hidden. I buy ones without the extra plastic wrapping deliberately.

Angrymum22 · 12/03/2022 11:45

Leaving any blood soaked item san pro or otherwise in a bathroom is pretty grim. But I’m an HCP and not disposing of haz waste correctly is a hanging offence.
You have nappy bags I presume, just leave them in the bathroom, if you put san pro straight in a bag even if you forget to dispose of it at least it doesn’t pose a hazard.

drawingpad · 12/03/2022 11:54

@Angrymum22

Leaving any blood soaked item san pro or otherwise in a bathroom is pretty grim. But I’m an HCP and not disposing of haz waste correctly is a hanging offence. You have nappy bags I presume, just leave them in the bathroom, if you put san pro straight in a bag even if you forget to dispose of it at least it doesn’t pose a hazard.

OP forgot, she was tired and had a newborn. I don't think advice on how to dispose of pads is remotely helpful and coming from HCP I would expect a level of understanding when it comes to new mothers and cunty husbands.

TheKeatingFive · 12/03/2022 11:59

Why's a single man coming over anyway?

What the actual?

MrsBerthaRochester · 12/03/2022 12:01

@theunnamedcat the same thing happened to me! I had police and social services involved and one of the things they mentioned was a sanitary towel had fallen out of the bin! It was ridiculous. They also commented on the fact my son had a couple of empty beer bottles in his room. He is 19!! Idiots.

OatmilkandCookies · 12/03/2022 12:02

@AnotherSillawithanS

No one really wants to see a used pad though do they. I'm a woman, I have periods but I wouldn't want to see that.
Yeah but you'd back your friend up and just pop it in the bin, surely? Not make a scene!
NippyWoowoo · 12/03/2022 12:03

@TheKeatingFive

Why's a single man coming over anyway?

What the actual?

Well, considering the thread the other day on male childcare workers, who are 'weird' for being 'interested' in children, this is expected of some on MN.
AnotherSillawithanS · 12/03/2022 12:07

@OatmilkandCookies back her up....how? I wouldn't put it in the bin no. I'd leave it there for her to deal with.

Barbie222 · 12/03/2022 12:08

Hmm, his comment probably didn't land like it should have done but leaving that lying around out is concerning and unhygienic. I would have put in the bin as your partner but I'd have also said something just to make sure things weren't spiralling with you.

If my partners shitty toilet paper was lying on the floor, and he'd been through an op but wasn't at the point of needing me to actually go to the loo with him for physical support, I think I'd have something to say about that too.

woodhill · 12/03/2022 12:09

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Better than my exh's attitude.. Apparently we weren't close because I never let him change my tampons. Blood from anywhere is best kept in a bin...
That's just weird
CounsellorTroi · 12/03/2022 12:09

My late DM was a primary school teacher. One of her pupils wrote a story about their dad cutting his foot in the bathroom and clapping a sanitary towel over it as that was the first thing that came to hand. My mum was most amused.

lap90 · 12/03/2022 12:36

Yeah, I wouldn't exactly have been thrilled either.

I recall the same thing happened with a uni flatmate and our shared bathroom.

Brefugee · 12/03/2022 12:54

I work in Germany. Women i have worked with have always carried their tampon or pad in their hand and gone to the toilet
Or taken a small make up bag - nobody bats an eyelid.

When i was first married my DH asked me to put my tampons in a cupboard and not convenienly on the shelf by the toilet in case it embarassed male visitors. I just said "nope" and we carried on.

Were someone in my office to tell me to "put them in my pocket" they'd have to listen to my half hour rant on how women's clothes don't have pockets. And then I'd either use a clear bag to put it in or I'd make a zippered pouch with the words SANITARY PRODUCTS in big, gilttery writing and use that

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 12/03/2022 13:01

My ex would have simply picked up the stained pad and put it in the bin without batting an eyelid or even mentioning it to me, as he would have realised that I must have been tired or distracted and unfortunately leaking blood after giving birth to our child.

But then he's Eastern European and men are much less hysterical about periods over there 🤷‍♀️

hangrylady · 12/03/2022 13:02

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Better than my exh's attitude.. Apparently we weren't close because I never let him change my tampons. Blood from anywhere is best kept in a bin...
What now?!! Shock
ThinWomansBrain · 12/03/2022 13:03

Would you walk across the office on your way to the loo carrying a tube of Canesten?
Er, yes, but the tube about 3 inches long - who'd know what I'd got in my hand? - I don't walk from my locker to the bathroom holding it aloft and shouting whoo hoo, look what I've got.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 12/03/2022 13:05

@ThinWomansBrain

Would you walk across the office on your way to the loo carrying a tube of Canesten? Er, yes, but the tube about 3 inches long - who'd know what I'd got in my hand? - I don't walk from my locker to the bathroom holding it aloft and shouting whoo hoo, look what I've got.

Well I think you should 🤣

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