I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

Taking it in an envelope is my favourite suggestion: would this be an envelope from home? Or misappropriation of office stationery? What if OP put the envelope back in the stationery cupboard afterwards and a man had to touch the towel taint? Who takes AN ENVELOPE to the loos except maybe a crap spy doing a thoroughly indiscreet document drop? Does she bring the envelope back out afterwards, or leave everyone wondering where it went?

FFS! I'd be needing an email detailing the problem with being seen with an essential woman's item.

Why don't you keep it in your bag.

I'm from the generation where it was more taboo and prefer some discretion

@100problems

In my life I have never been embarrassed by periods, but equally I would never walk around a workplace carrying a sanitary towel. What I do on or in the toilet stays between me and the toilet.

Agree with this.

Omg that's ridiculous 😂

If they feel awkward fine, but how much of a pansy do you have to be to go and speak to the manager about it! 😂😂😂

Maybe you could suggest they provide a basket of free sanitary products in the ladies so that no one needs to be offended by your bodily functions.

They'll be upset because they know what's in your hand bag next!

I wouldn't have complained but I think taking your bag with you has a little more class.

God. Can you imagine the outrage if these men had to SHARE TOILETS? With menstruating women? They'd probably faint.

Ffs I'm angry on your behalf op. It's properly given me the rage! Maybe I'm due on!!! 😂

@100problems

In my life I have never been embarrassed by periods, but equally I would never walk around a workplace carrying a sanitary towel. What I do on or in the toilet stays between me and the toilet.

Is your toilet in Vegas?

I’m sorry what?!?

And the 15% who said YABU are outrageous!!!!!!

Periods shaming needs to stop. All it means is that you are fertile and can carry a baby. There is nothing to be ashamed of!!!!

I would actually write to HR about the fact that they are discriminating about you being a woman

Fucking disgusting that they’ve done this to you. I am outraged on your behalf!!!

To me, a clean sanitary towel is the same as clean loo roll: unremarkable and boring.

To my Irish relatives and also completely seperate Irish friends, sight of a sanitary towel is shocking and offensive and somehow similar to displaying condom packets and all bathrooms should keep sanitary items hidden in closed drawers or in baskets with lids. I don’t really get it but different families/cultures seem to see them very differently! 🤣🤷‍♀️

Are you allowed to march through the toilet door, bold as brass, or are you meant to loiter surreptitiously outside, and then make a dash for it when no one's looking (think getting through the barrier at platform 9 and 3/4)? Because if someone saw you walking into the toilet then they would know you were about to piss or shit, or even worse, change a sanitary towel which is not very discreet.

@Hasselhoffsheadband

Pretty sure this wouldn't stand up in a discrimination tribunal, speak to HR.

In the meantime, I love the idea of the tampon flapper dress!

I would get this written down in an email, in case you ever need to prove unfair dismissal in the future . . . Total sexist rubbish.

@alexdgr8

i think in an office ie workplace environment, it is best to be discreet. and it is not so difficult. handbag/pocket/up sleeve of cardigan/ envelope. going to the loo is nothing to be ashamed of either, for any use, but why not have some dignity and self respect and respect for others, and not impose the details on colleagues. i think thing have swung too far. maybe common sense and common decency will prevail eventually.

This, absolutely. Yes, it’s no one else’s business whether you’re on your period or not. So don’t make it so; that’s exactly the point they are trying to make to you.

I had a (male) colleague who would take a paperback to the loo with him and no one felt compelled to mention it to his boss. Perhaps you could suggest they focus on their work rather than scrutinising what their colleagues are carrying to the toilet, especially if they’re upset by the sight of san pro.

As an aside, because of lockdown I didn’t get a chance to clear out my pedestal before going on mat leave and I’m sure my male mat cover will be delighted to be so well stocked with tampons…

@SparkleSpangle

While I think it is ridiculous anyone complained. There is something to be said for being discreet. Obviously you are going to have a period but do you need to let everyone know. Just put it in your pocket.

Nice internalised misogyny there Sparkle… wouldn’t want anyone to know that you were experiencing a completely normal and natural part of being female .

OP best creep to the toilet when no one is looking or people might realise she pees and poos too.

This wouldn't be an issue if womens clothing had FUCKING BIG POCKETS

@Popsicle33

I wouldn't have complained but I think taking your bag with you has a little more class.

Why does the op need to have class? Why can't she just change her towel using a perfectly discreetly packaged product that has already been carefully designed to keep male discomfort at bay by disguising its contents in a cutesy floral wrapper!?!?!? I mean why is it essential that women are 'classy'? Why can't we just be women, however that works for us?

I’ve never seen anyone openly carrying Sanpro anywhere in all my life.

“ I remember the level of secretion employed by some of the men I used to work with, carrying a rolled up newspaper or What Car? Mag into the office loo for a leisurely shit. I never complained given it was a clear sign of a necessary bodily function (but with more negative outcome for others than you waving your sanitary towel about OP wink ).”

I’ve seen this. The men that did it were made fun of and not taken very seriously around the office.

• just noticed “level of secretion” lol.

I’m thinking a wheelie suitcase next time, pull it along behind you to the bathroom. Peri menopause is a bitch.

Seriously though, I’d probably make a written response to this confirming that you were warned you’d made male colleagues feel uncomfortable due to their observation and speculation on why you, as a woman, were going to the bathroom and that your bodily functions were being discussed. Just to be clear.

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

I spat out my tea

The description was genius!

theres no need to be so obvious about it though , why not have a box in the lav to leave some in

@Thewindwhispers

To me, a clean sanitary towel is the same as clean loo roll: unremarkable and boring.

To my Irish relatives and also completely seperate Irish friends, sight of a sanitary towel is shocking and offensive and somehow similar to displaying condom packets and all bathrooms should keep sanitary items hidden in closed drawers or in baskets with lids. I don’t really get it but different families/cultures seem to see them very differently! 🤣🤷‍♀️

Sounds like it would do them the world of good to see a few more in the wild, then!

@alexdgr8

i think in an office ie workplace environment, it is best to be discreet. and it is not so difficult. handbag/pocket/up sleeve of cardigan/ envelope. going to the loo is nothing to be ashamed of either, for any use, but why not have some dignity and self respect and respect for others, and not impose the details on colleagues. i think thing have swung too far. maybe common sense and common decency will prevail eventually.

Absolutely wrong!

Would you be ok with your daughter being shamed for something she has no control over?

Definitely make a bag out of them and parade it round the office! And tell your manager if they provided free sanpro in the loos you wouldn’t need to

I don't see how it's different to anyone carrying items for any other bodily function i.e. pills if you have a headache, insulin if you're diabetic etc.

I would definitely send an email 'to confirm you have correctly understood' and make sure their response is captured in writing.