I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

@ShowOfHands

I don't know that I'd carry a sanitary towel in plain sight of everybody any more than I'd tuck a rolled up newspaper under one arm and a toilet roll under the other. Probably because I don't want to signal what it is I'm off to do. Same as I find it curious when Mil announces "I'm off for a wee" or similar. I wouldn't share that detail and if all things were equal, I prefer not to know the planned activity of my colleagues, friends or family as they skip off to the bogs. But I can't imagine a single situation when I'd feel that other people should hide their sanitary towel from the office if they're happy to have it in hand. And I'd never bloody complain. How strange.

I used to work in a place where one of my male colleagues would routinely take himself off to the toilet with a newspaper under his arm to take his morning dump. We used to take bets on how long he'd take and I was surprisingly accurate. Didn't occur to me to complain because I'm not precious about bodily functions.

If a man can't cope with the sight of a fresh, neatly wrapped and discretely packaged sanitary towel in the hand of a woman, then they have issues they need to deal with quite urgently.

People go to the toilet to piss, shit, or change their tampon/towel. Every time someone goes to the loo, they are 'advertising' the fact that they are dealing with a bodily function.

I'd be telling HR to evaluate their policies and tell these fragile men to get a fucking grip.

In my life I have never been embarrassed by periods, but equally I would never walk around a workplace carrying a sanitary towel. What I do on or in the toilet stays between me and the toilet.

alexdgr8

‘i think in an office ie workplace environment, it is best to be discreet.
and it is not so difficult. handbag/pocket/up sleeve of cardigan/ envelope.
going to the loo is nothing to be ashamed of either, for any use, but why not have some dignity and self respect and respect for others, and not impose the details on colleagues.
i think thing have swung too far.
maybe common sense and common decency will prevail eventually.’

This

Do this, stick it to your head, Its an iPad. Men love tech

Nope - I wouldn't walk through an office carrying a sanitary towel to the loos. Yes everyone knows women have periods and we all wee and poo but I'm on the side of keeping it private. You're basically announcing you're off to change your sanitary towel, you wouldn't announce you were off to wipe your arse (would you?!) Be private about all toilet stuff!

Please update @TinLeaf if you do tell them to bog off!

I'm amazed they even know what it is! It's a little square of plastic. Are you opening it at your desk? Why are they even looking at what you're carrying so in depth? Keep a toilet roll on your desk to tuck it into?

When I had periods and had to take pads to the toilet they were the ones that were the size of a large square so bodyform or Always. Would carry in hand but wouldn’t have hidden them. Was handy if I had pockets but if not so what? Your colleagues need to grow up. Tell your manager they should stock free sanitary towels etc in the toilet.

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

This post made my day! I needed a good laugh and this image certainly provided it.

Good old Mumsnet

I would have laughed in her face. Who cares if someone is seen carrying a sanitary towel? She should have told whoever was complaining to grow up.

While I personally would not do it: I have no issue with others doing it. And I certainly would never complain to the manager!

Make a counter complaint about men staring at you as you walk across the office making you feel uncomfortable.

Totally shocked by some of these responses what fresh hell is this?
I'm assuming she's not swinging it round her head minus packaging making eye contact with every flake she passes. It's in a wrapper in her hand it's not the size of a book....... that should be enough.
Honestly maybe we should have women only channels for sanitary products just in case the men and bizarrely a small number of women find it all a bit faint inducing.

@TheKeatingFive well there "should" be a lot of things but there are not... (endless debate).

As the other poster said its about being discreet it's a personal thing... and I'm with the other poster. We live in a very open generation where everything is announced I mean FFS... is it really necessary to hold the pad in your hand? It's a bit crass and I wouldn't dare do it tbh.

@jay55

You really should be rollerskaing in white jeans to the loo, to properly announce it.

And once in the loo you can deal with that neat thimbleful of blue liquid and then pop back to your desk in a very short white tennis skirt with a knowing smile that says “I’m the palatable version of womanhood”. I think it would be nicer for your male colleagues.

@BananaBender

Get one of these bags.

www.etsy.com/au/listing/738015514/tampon-bag-period-pouch-sanitary-holder

😂😂

I am astounded that these men felt emboldened to complain, and that your manager actually reprimanded you for this OP. Just sickening misogyny. This is clearly sexist discrimination.

@PatchworkElmer

I always think it’s more obvious when people carry bags to the toilet 🤷🏻‍♀️

Exactly. No better way to advertise you're on your period than carting your handbag to the toilet with you.

What these men should be embarrassed about is making a complaint about such a non issue. Who does that?

They work with women, so it follows that some of them will be having their period at any particular time. Seeing you with a sanitary towel in your hand shouldn't change that and surely even if they're gay and/or permanently single, they have mothers, sisters etc so they should be already used to seeing these items at home.

Your manager should be able to handle these complaints without involving you.

I'd be tempted to plaster sanitary towels all over my office door - or cubicle's even better if you have one. You could paint them in pink and red watercolour, like this artist, Manhei Chan. Or just do a strategic pool of red watercolour on one and stick it to the back of your skirt or trousers as if you don't know it's there.

Carry them round in the box next time.

Sometimes, as a manager, you have to forget to say things. Tell the complainants that you’ll have a word then forget.

I did that quite a lot when I was a teacher. Other staff would complain about ‘my’ children and tell me to tell them off etc etc. I often forgot - not necessary or helpful to mention anything to my children.

I think you could open up a can of worms/have a bit of fun with this one.

Can't get my head around people complaining about a sanitary towel. Get a fucking grip! Admittedly I would feel
Uncomfortable myself walking though the office with a tampon or towel in my hand on the way to the loo, but that's my issue. If I saw another woman doing it I wouldn't bat an eyelid. The horror some men have of the workings of the female anatomy when once upon a time they were quite likely pushed out of a vagina astounds me!

Stick it to your forehead for easy hands free carrying next time.

Pop it in a bag marked clearly Sanitary Towel bag.

OP, your manager is a prick.

[quote GreMay1]@TheKeatingFive well there "should" be a lot of things but there are not... (endless debate).

As the other poster said its about being discreet it's a personal thing... and I'm with the other poster. We live in a very open generation where everything is announced I mean FFS... is it really necessary to hold the pad in your hand? It's a bit crass and I wouldn't dare do it tbh.[/quote]
If you don't have a pocket what are you supposed to do? Shove it down your bra?

Even so, who cares? Do you think toilet rolls should be snuck into the cubicles under cover of darkness?

I was too shocked to say much. It hadn’t even occurred to me that anyone might have a problem and It’s only afterwards that I started to feel angry.

I’m not going to change my ways and I’m going to speak to my manager again on Monday.