I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

i am not saying it's shameful but there is no need to broadcast it. Why does EVERYTHING have to be on the table, out there, no discretion?I

But she's not broadcasting it, she's holding it in her hand. Why have you decided that's broadcasting.

And no, HOLDING a piece of sanpro is not even remotely like farting, how absolutely weird.

We have free tampons and towels in baskets in each bog at work.

We also have unisex toilets.

Your colleagues would have some sort of meltdown if they worked at my place, having to see that sanpro on display every time they went for a slash.

Ok long thread not rtft but has anyone considered that being open with your sanpro once a month is perhaps a bit inconsiderate of those who have irregular periods or are trying to conceive or failing to not conceive or...
One day you might think back to those carefree days of sauntering along with your tampons wondering if the onlookers have noticed you not carrying them for a while... Or maybe you'll be carrying them for show...

Out of interest would any of the people who wouldn't dream of hiding the fact that they were carrying a sanitary towel be as comfortable carrying incontinence pads.

I don't think anyone should be made feel they shouldn't carry an incontinence pad. Exactly as the OP shouldn't feel she cant carry a tampon.

@TheKeatingFive

but I won't be holding it aloft.

Did anyone say they're holding it 'aloft'? Is that like 'wafting'?

I’m picturing sanpro aloft like lighters up at the end of an outdoor concert: lights down, power ballad on, the whole office swaying.

This thread is bizarre, as are a lot of the attitudes on it. What is offensive about some (unused) sanpro? Who is looking hard enough at what someone is walking out of the room with?

I am someone who takes a bag, or tucks sanpro up my sleeve. I am also someone who wont go in the feminine hygiene aisle if a man is there too. Why? I don't know why tbh. And I feel bad I even act that way even though I can not explain why I do it.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1179717825/definitely-not-period-funny-period-bag?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=period+bag&ref=sr_gallery-1-8&frs=1&cns=1&sts=1

You really should be more discreet. Try a nice little bag like this

@TheKeatingFive in YOUR opinion, not mine. We can all have our own opinions. To me it’s not equivalent for a couple of reasons - 1. because everyone goes to the toilet daily but women only carry sanitary products when they’re on their period. I’m not embarrassed to be on my period but I don’t tell all my colleagues about it either, it’s personal. 2. We don’t use different types of toilet roll, it’s pretty standard issue. I don’t need to let all my colleagues know I’m using tampons / giant heavy flow pads or whatever I want to use. It’s personal, I just keep it to myself.

@Misreadprob

Ok long thread not rtft but has anyone considered that being open with your sanpro once a month is perhaps a bit inconsiderate of those who have irregular periods or are trying to conceive or failing to not conceive or... One day you might think back to those carefree days of sauntering along with your tampons wondering if the onlookers have noticed you not carrying them for a while... Or maybe you'll be carrying them for show...

I hope you warmed up before that stretch

Ok long thread not rtft but has anyone considered that being open with your sanpro once a month is perhaps a bit inconsiderate of those who have irregular periods or are trying to conceive or failing to not conceive or

No more than I think walking is inconsiderate to those who use a wheelchair

Or maybe you'll be carrying them for show

What?

🤣🤣after a helping week this has made me laugh so much.I love the flapper dress idea.
Tbh I was visualizing a large DRWhites pad from the 70s.Which is fine.
A teeny tiny wrapped clean product.Shame on your manager for mentioning it.

@LimeSupper

Going against the grain but I can’t say I walk across the workplace floor carrying my sanitary products. It’s not embarrassing, it’s just personal. I also wouldn’t carry my bra/ knickers to the toilet if I was getting changed for example (I’d put them in a bag or something). I also wouldn’t apply deodorant in front of my colleagues for example - it’s not embarrassing, just unnecessary to do in front of colleagues. There are a lot of standards that seem to have fallen away these days though. I see young women plucking their eyebrows in the middle of the office, coming to work with wet hair after washing it in the morning, men changing a top in the office flashing their chest, people walking around eating a bag of crops whilst working. Fine for many, I just wouldn’t and couldn’t 😆

A lot of the examples you give though aren't anywhere near the same as the OP. She's only carrying the sanitary pad to the toilet, not changing it at her desk. For your examples it would be the same as someone carrying the eyebrow tweezers to a toilet cubicle, not plucking in the middle of the office. Or carrying a hairdryer to a private shower, not having wet hair in the office. Or carrying a top to the toilet to change it, not flashing everyone. In those cases, yes you'd know what that person was about to do but you don't have to actually WATCH them do it so it's got nothing to do with standards falling. If anything, the people noticing and complaining are the ones lacking standards, what happened to minding your own business.

@EveryCloudIsGrey

Out of interest would any of the people who wouldn't dream of hiding the fact that they were carrying a sanitary towel be as comfortable carrying incontinence pads. My guess is that if people are honest almost no one would. 👀👀 Any argument that periods are natural and women shouldn't be embarrassed about them surely should also apply to incontinence. Or is pee something that's shameful?

Incontinence is a medical problem. It would also be totally wrong to tell your member of staff to hide their Incontinence pads, the same as it would be if you told them to hide their epipen.

I wouldn't want the men in my office to
know when I've got my period. Deep down I'm sure some men treat you differently when you do! I don't want to be treated any differently.

And rightly or wrongly I keep things personal things private!

Was it used or something?

1. because everyone goes to the toilet daily but women only carry sanitary products when they’re on their period.

People do know you have periods. You get that, right? Why you think anyone cares if it's this week or next week is beyond me.

I don’t need to let all my colleagues know I’m using tampons / giant heavy flow pads or whatever I want to use. It’s personal, I just keep it to myself.

You'd have to be looking VERY hard to see the differences.

But you seem to be missing the point that no one is saying you have to carry it without putting it in a bag/envelope. They're saying there's nothing wrong with other people doing so if that's what they prefer

Put it in a wee bag. I recommend this one

I don’t need to let all my colleagues know I’m using tampons / giant heavy flow pads or whatever I want to use. It’s personal, I just keep it to myself.
OP’s colleagues would have had to be close enough to lick her hand to see exactly what brand and flow level her product was. I cba to get out of bed to look at my tampons but I’m fairly certain the individual wrappers say nothing about “giant heavy flow” or any writing at all.

And rightly or wrongly I keep things personal things private!

And that's absolutely fine so long as you are t telling others what they should be doing.

@Drivingish no they are comparable to me because I’m giving examples of things that I don’t find embarrassing but wouldn’t do in the office in front of my colleagues. Carrying tweezers to the toilet isn’t embarrassing because anyone at any time can use tweezers. It’s not indicating you’re at a particular moment in your personal menstrual cycle, I just don’t see that I’d want my colleagues to know that. It’s personal.

I just don’t see that I’d want my colleagues to know that. It’s personal.

And there's nothing wrong with you making decisions for yourself, it's whether you think anyone has the right to tell the OP what decisions she should make

@Hasselhoffsheadband

Pretty sure this wouldn't stand up in a discrimination tribunal, speak to HR.

In the meantime, I love the idea of the tampon flapper dress!

Haha! Tampon flapper dress.. ''White Mice'' dancing.

[quote LimeSupper]@Drivingish no they are comparable to me because I’m giving examples of things that I don’t find embarrassing but wouldn’t do in the office in front of my colleagues. Carrying tweezers to the toilet isn’t embarrassing because anyone at any time can use tweezers. It’s not indicating you’re at a particular moment in your personal menstrual cycle, I just don’t see that I’d want my colleagues to know that. It’s personal.[/quote]
But OP doesn’t care and neither do lots of women. Fine if you want to keep sanitary protection hidden. Equally fine for those of us that don’t.

@TheKeatingFive people may assume I probably have a period, but no they don’t know that for a fact. Not every woman does and certainly not every woman regularly. I’m happy for them to assume it probably happens but not know any details about it. My colleagues probably assume I wear knickers but wouldn’t know if I do for certain or what type because it’s not up for discussion/ carried through the office.

@Misreadprob

Ok long thread not rtft but has anyone considered that being open with your sanpro once a month is perhaps a bit inconsiderate of those who have irregular periods or are trying to conceive or failing to not conceive or... One day you might think back to those carefree days of sauntering along with your tampons wondering if the onlookers have noticed you not carrying them for a while... Or maybe you'll be carrying them for show...

This is the most ridiculous post I've ever read on mumsnet.

Should those of us with fertility struggles complain to management that colleagues are visibly pregnant and it makes us uncomfortable?

Of course not. It would be absolutely ridiculous.

As is your post.